Reply #6: not to be contrary, although I often am [View All]

[hfojvt]

I found more contentment in giving up. I can remember it as an epiphany. There I was sweeping the gym floor, raging about being 42 and not having a real job, certainly not having a good job. Not having children, not having a spouse, not having a girlfriend, and only getting older all the time and running out of time to make anything positive happen in my life. Then suddenly I realized it was time to admit reality, face the bitter truth - it was simply not gonna happen, and there was nothing I could do to make it happen. I had tried my best, and I had failed. Time to stop banging my head against doors that were not gonna open.

That realization, that abandonment of hope, was like a huge burden being lifted off my back. Because it was hoping and striving that was creating much of my frustration. I would apply for jobs and hope (nay, expect) that I would get them, just like Charlie Brown thinking he's gonna kick that ball to kingdom come. Every time the Lucy of life would pull the ball away and I would go flying and slam painfully to the ground.

Sometimes I think it is better to not have too much hope, or unrealistic expectations. Having struck out 158 straight times without so much as a foul tip, it's setting yourself up for major disappointment to hope for a home run.