Reply #16: As the mother of a gay son who came out to us when he was 16, [View All]

[mnhtnbb]

I think you handled the initial conversation well. Our son was 12 when things started to fall apart
at school for him and a lot of it was related to hiding his feelings.

I do think that you might want to return to the issue of the fact that she is just now developing her own
identity. Encourage her to talk with you--especially since she seems comfortable--or with some other adult
she knows as she discovers who she is and to whom she's attracted. Only you know the answer to this, but
has she gotten her period? Started to develop? Her hormones will change when that happens. I do think
that you need to assure her that you love her no matter what, and that it's possible that "thinking about girls" at her age doesn't automatically mean she will be lesbian as an adult. Identity formation is
a process, and jumping the gun on sexual identity is a risk. In other words, encourage her to understand
that she will have different feelings and not to be confused. Give her the security to let her develop
in time to who she will be--and that you will love her no matter what.