Reply #61: Even if you think you could have scared her - parents aren´t perfect. [View All]

[Duende azul]

I think best part was how you told her friends:
"It's fine, just a word of advice...if you like someone tell them. Head games aren't a good idea."
Spontaneous and just right. And indirectly your daughter´s friends know now that your on their side.

Only one thing seems uneasy to me:"I pat the chair next to me, and say "Sweetheart, is there something you want to tell me?""
(Perhaps it´s because I´m not american and I don´t get this style.) That seems to put her in a position to confess something where nothing is to confess. (I always hated this with my parents). Since you were the one with the need to talk perhaps it would have been better to say: "I want to tell you something. I´m sorry, I unintentionally listened to a conversation that wasn´t meant for me."
And "just in case" you let her know that you wouldn´t mind what gender ever she would be interested in. And let her know you would be there whenever she feels like talking. So it´s up to her - sometimes teenagers like a little privacy about their crushes.
The only thing that matters is that she is comfortable and happy with whomever she chooses. And at her age the marriage and adoption issue is so far away...So like someone else on this thread said, if she tells you about her crush, best reaction is "Is she CUTE?" ;-)

Gosh with all this comments we will leave you dizzy! But you asked for it ;-) And sometimes us parents need not to be left alone with situations like that. Just relax. Relax about your fears of society. You´ll take care of society another day. And relax about fears of having screwed up. If some fears remain, you will find a way to deal with them.
You will do fine because you seem to be a parent that cares.