Reply #85: Please don't be so cavalier about it. You may think you are over it [View All]

[Maraya1969]

but that type of abuse gets down into our core somehow. I believe in EMD for post traumatic stress disorder. Even if you don't want to go to someone you can read about it and do it yourself.

About 7 years after I admitted to myself that I was being molested, (there is denial for you) I realized that I was still blaming myself but it was at a very deep level that I hadn't thought of before. Basically this "minister" had convinced me in my teens that he was going to save me from the horrible panic attacks I was having and because I needed so much I couldn't stop him from touching me.

I talked about it with friends and even therapists but it wasn't until years later that I really believed that I should have had more control over myself to not "let that happen" If I were stronger it wouldn't have happened and I caused all sorts of pain to my family because I was the fucked up teenager who had "worries" and "frets" and "breakdowns" which were eventually labeled panic disorder, OCD and bipolar disorder. (as I am writing this I have a guilty feeling about what I put my parents through......just sharing that to show how our brains can be our worst enemies sometimes. Once I click "post message" I'll have a nice talk with myself.


Be kind and gentle with yourself.