DarkPhenyx
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Thu Aug-19-04 05:26 PM
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For Jesus' sake! Smash! The days and nights of Carrie Nation. |
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Edited on Thu Aug-19-04 05:27 PM by DarkPhenyx
In the memory of yet another assanine stupid Constitutional Ammendment in the plotting... http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/06_04/06-04-carry-nation.htmA majority of Americans today agree that our country’s thirteen-year “experiment” with Prohibition was a catastrophic failure.
In truth, it failed like few human endeavors have ever failed. Compared the Amendment 18, Dean Wormer outwitted the Deltas, Charlie Brown kicked the football, and the Yugo fucking styled. Put your finger on the biggest failure you can identify then times it by about three gazillion and you’ll still equal less than one raggedy butthair on the Volstead Act’s wide white useless ass.
Historians point to lots of reasons why Prohibition went belly-up, but there’s really only one reason. Prohibition flamed out because it was insanely fuckin’ stupid. A tiny cabal of pathologically frightened jagoffs twisted congressional titties until they got their way, and then jack-stomped on everyone else’s freedom of choice.
The anti-liquor charge was lead, in the main, by the Women’s Christian Temperance Union (WCTU), and their snotty little brother, the Anti-Saloon League (ASL). To describe the WCTU as a gaggle of ill-informed harpies is to do a disservice to ill-informed harpies everywhere. They clucked, honked, bleated, squealed and made pretty much every other barnyard noise they could come up with (and don’t forget the titty twisters) and batter-rammed a law down America’s neck that would’ve done Josef Stalin a solid. The whole deal was loony tunes—except without wackiness, daffiness, or a stuttering pig....
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Mizmoon
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Thu Aug-19-04 05:29 PM
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1. Seemed like a good idea at the time |
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God knows dealing with drunken assholes from time to time has made me think wistfully that I wouldn't mind getting rid of booze forever.
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DarkPhenyx
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Thu Aug-19-04 05:43 PM
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2. But then you are left with sober assholes. |
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Edited on Thu Aug-19-04 05:44 PM by DarkPhenyx
At least the drunks have an excuse.
Let us also not forget that "it sounded like a good idea at the time" could be engraved on a great many tombstones.
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DrWeird
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Thu Aug-19-04 05:53 PM
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3. What do you do when charged by an axe-weilding grandma? |
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Either flight or fight, I suppose. But you better think fast.
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DarkPhenyx
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Thu Aug-19-04 06:00 PM
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Mmmm, can we settle for rapid walking instead?
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smirkymonkey
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Thu Aug-19-04 06:05 PM
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5. We need Carrie Nation to come back to life and haunt |
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Edited on Thu Aug-19-04 06:06 PM by smirkymonkey
all the Boardrooms across America, where she can chop the weenies off greedy, corporate bloodsuckers. :evilgrin:
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Shakespeare
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Thu Aug-19-04 06:09 PM
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6. Her grand-nephew was my history prof at Texas A&M! |
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Jack Nation--what a riot he was, too. If memory serves, a Hightower-style liberal who got a perverse kick out of talking about his ancestor.
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DU
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Fri May 17th 2024, 02:27 PM
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