Terri's Parents Admit They'd Defy Her Wishes To REmove Life Support

[mondo joe]

From page 14 the 38 page report commissioned by Jeb Bush :


Testimony provided by members of the Schindler family included very personal statements about their desire and intention to ensure that Theresa remain alive . . . at any and all costs.

Nearly gruesome examples were given, eliciting agreement by family members that in the event Theresa should contract diabetes and subsequent gangrene in each of her limbs, they would agree to amputate each limb and would then, were she to be diagnosed with heart disease, perform open-heart surgery.

Within the testimony, as part of the hypothetical presented, Schindler family members stated that even if Theresa had told them of her intention to have artificial nutrition withdrawn, they would not do it. Throughout this painful and difficult trial, the family acknowledged that Theresa was in a diagnosed persistent vegetative state.


http://floridahealthinfo.hsc.usf.edu/TheresaSchiavoFinalReport1December2003.pdf

[LibertyorDeath]

1. Sick I mean really it's their child Where is their humanity.

Thanks for this info

[sonicx]

2. I read part of the the court papers where the parents tried to claim...

Terri would not want to be have life support removed. There were inconsistancies in their story and the time it took place. It was found that a conversation about it might have taken place when Terri was a preteen. :wtf:

[mondo joe]

4. Her parents had completely conflicting and inaccurate testimony

about Terri's expressed wishes.

Admitting they didn't care might be the only honest thing they've said.

[oldcoot]

3. How awful

I wonder what type of relationship they had with their daughter.

[mondo joe]

5. They didn't know she was receiving fertility treatments or that

she was bulimic when she was a teenager living at home.

Which all contributes to my lack of surprise that she was bulimic at all.

[oldcoot]

7. That is so sad

Had she received treatment for her bulimia, perhaps she would have had a long and happy life.

[mondo joe]

10. My neighbor the psychistrist told me that in her clinical experience

eating disorders almost always stem from control issues in the family of origin.

In light of that it's not surprising to see her parents disregarding her autonomy.

[oldcoot]

12. I think that your neighbor is correct

In college, one of my psychology instructors (she was not a full professor yet) was studying the link between eating disorders and sexual abuse (not that I am saying that Terri's parents sexually abused her). She believed that victims of sexual abuse tried to gain control over their lives through their eating habits.

[soothsayer]

14. and that she would marry an abusive and controlling husband

[mondo joe]

16. Please provide evidence that he is/was abusive or controlling

Court documents prove he has been an especially dedicated caretaker.

[oldcoot]

17. Why do you think he is abusive?

Was he ever convicted of domestic violence?

[girl gone mad]

18. I've known many young girls with eating disorders.

I agree that it is an issue of control and self-worth.

Someone who has never had her opinions or feelings validated could easily see anorexia/bulimia as the sole opportunity to express herself or assert control over her own body, as sick as it may sound.

These disorders usually start in one form or another at a young age, and are difficult to gain control over. I know someone who, 30 years after leaving and abusive family environment and 20 years after seeking help for anorexia/bulimia, still struggles with under-eating.

[seabeyond]

21. i did eating disorders for a decade and a half, i had

no abusive family. it is about control and self judgement. but i would no way say soemone with an eating disorder came from abusive enviroment. i dont think the facts hold to that

[mondo joe]

23. The observation is that MOST OFTEN it stems from family of origin

issues - but not ALWAYS.

[seabeyond]

26. back in the ole days, dont know today

it was the white middle class good girl syndrome

[mondo joe]

28. It still is. But again, professionals observe that it most often

stems from family of origin issues.

And it's not hard to see here - her parents admit they would not follow her instructions. They didn't know a lot about her. And they are unable to relinquish control.

[DARE to HOPE]

6. They do not believe in heaven, I am afraid...

...I watched my own cousins keep their mother alive seven long years with dementia, though she was like a little bird, just bones in the bed. They could not let her go (she had really had dementia for years before this point) due to their Jehovah's Witness beliefs which did not assure them of heaven in the least. They suffered, and she suffered.

It was quite a different experience than with my own father, also a victim of dementia. We felt that God had given us the years we had watching my once powerful father fade--but then, thankfully, some scar tissue from previous surgeries caused his release. It was quite vivid for me when my father passed, and since. I have no doubt that I will see him again.

And this is how Christians are taught to view death, as a gift at the end of a fulfilled life, which is NOT the end of existence. What kind of "Christians" are these, who so mistrust the Lord of Life that they go to the Congress and President of the United States?!!

I realize that parents losing a child is the hardest loss. And yet they do their child, and their faith, great dishonor through this fight. Would they have wanted Jesus on the cross for 15 years?

Lord have mercy on them.

[supernova]

9. What religion are her parents?

I haven't been able to tell.

[ohio_liberal]

31. They're Catholic

So was Terri, but I've heard that she was non-practicing.

[mondo joe]

32. Of course "Catholic" can mean a lot of things.

[supernova]

8. This I find extremely gouhlish

:scared:

Like another poster, I concur it's no wonder Terri was bulimic. It's entirely possible they ran roughshod over her her whole life.

[deadparrot]

11. What's the story with the parents?

Are they fundies, or just so deep into denial that they're convinced that she will wake up unscathed?

[DARE to HOPE]

13. I don't know the religion of her parents, but

...this is being spun as another Bush created "Christian" issue.

And it is NOT the Christian understanding of death.

They are setting some precedent here, to control the rest of us, or just seeking to divide us again on something ELSE. What about the hundreds of thousands who have died in Iraq?!!

[meow2u3]

15. Another pair of overcontrolling parents who won't let go

They controlled her as a kid to the point of her suffering from bulimia. They controlled her as a young adult by moving in with her and her husband. They're still trying to control her by refusing to let God be the judge as to whether she should live or die.

[UTUSN]

19. This Has Been a Missing Link in the Situation n/t

[JDPriestly]

20. A tragic situation

The Schindlers probably feel guilty because, at best, they ignored Terri's the symptoms of their daughter's eating disorder for years. Rather than face their own responsibility for their daughter's coma, they deny that it was caused by her eating disorder, shift the blame to Michael, his lawyer, the judge, anyone but themselves and focus on keeping the nearly lifeless shell that is left of their daughter on life support. I feel very sorry for them.

Michael is in a different situation. I have the impression that, for several years after his wife went into a coma, he also refused to give up and tried to rehabilitate her. Since then, he become more rational, acknowledged that Terri Schiavo was bulemic, accepted the reality that the damage to her brain is irreversible and moved on to affirm life by starting a new family.

But what Michael Schiavo and so many other "rational" people do not understand is that the Schindlers cannot or at least do not know how to start over. They can never replace their daughter. They cannot just go out and start another family. And thus far, they have not found a way to acknowledge or make up for the mistakes they made in dealing with their daughter before her coma. They are stuck, living in the past. They cannot affirm their own lives and cannot move forward.

Their dilemma is tragic but not uncommon. Many people, like the Schindlers, are stuck in life because they can't take responsibility for past mistakes. That is why the Schindlers have so many sympathizers.

What should the Schindlers and Michael Schiavo do? One solution would be to set up a foundation in the name of Terri Schiavo for the study and treatment of eating disorders -- maybe something that would benefit parents whose children suffer from such diseases. A foundation of that kind is really needed, and it would allow the Schindlers and the Schiavos to do something positive with their grief. If Michael Schiavo and his lawyer want to get this entire matter behind themselves and the Schindler family, they should donate any money left from Terri's malpractice settlement to set up such a foundation. If there isn't any money left, they should simply ask for donations and invite the Schindlers to help them in the project. That would end the accusations that Michael Schiavo is taking off his wife's life support to get her money and would resolve this matter in as positive a way as possible for everyone involved. If Florida politicians and congressional leaders want to get involved on behalf of Terri Schiavo, they should support the establishment of such a foundation. That would be real leadership.

[DARE to HOPE]

22. A very thoughtful post--THANKS!!

[Eric J in MN]

25. Interesting idea. Thanks (nt)

nt

[RevCheesehead]

24. Many people are terrified of death.

As a pastor, I see it all the time.

Some families are desperate to hang on to life, even if the person has no hope of recovering. Some families never recover. But others, once they can name their fear and face it head-on, discover that their lives can go on, and in time, they can find peace.

Some families have to make difficult decisions. I have yet to meet anyone who regretted "pulling the plug." I have stood vigil with some as they disconnect, then wait for the person to die. It is an amazing, and I would claim, sacred moment.

It is NOT a moment in which the government, or anyone else, should interfere. There is such a thing as dying with dignity.

[JDPriestly]

29. I believe that humans have souls

and that the soul does not die with the body but leaves the dying body to live on in some other form (I don't know what). I believe this based on a number of very strange personal experiences that I have had, which I do not discuss with other people.

But, I still have great difficulty dealing with death -- even of the roses in my garden. And when a friend or family member dies, I feel angry as well as hurt. Death is never "fair." It is always a devastating and overwhelming loss for those of us who live on. So, I understand how the Schindlers feel.

It seems to me, however, that if the Schindlers truly believed their religion, if they truly believed in an "afterlife," they would have an easier time giving up the travesty of "life" that the soul of their daughter is now forced to experience, and would let her soul move on. They do not accept that, in a religious sense, God has already "called" their daughter. From a religious point of view, if it is "God's will" that she live on, she will, even after they take her off life support. The Schindlers are interfering with "God's will" by keeping her alive so long through artificial means.

At the same time, and as I said, in spite of my personal experiences in this area, I understand that their belief or faith is simply not strong enough. They are not ready to "let God take Terri," as they might conceptualize it, and I accept that as being the spiritual reality that they are locked into. In their places, I might feel the same way.

For me, this is not a situation in which right or wrong in the usual sense is relevant or can even be determined through rational thought. The Schindlers need to be treated with understanding and boundless patience, because they are experiencing a great spiritual test -- whether they really believe that their daughter's soul will continue to live after death or whether they believe that their daughter's life in her earthly body is her only true life.

You are right. No one should interfere in the decision of the family. I understand that Michael Schiavo is ready to move on, but I think that the Schindlers would have an easier time accepting their daughter's inevitable death, had Schiavo adequately acknowledged their deep grief and, accordingly, treated them with the boundless compassion, patience and love that they need.

At this point, Schiavo and the Schindlers are struggling to prove who is right. Neither side wants to lose face. Neither side dares to flinch. And Terri Schiavo is the victim -- deprived of the right to either live on or die in the serenity, peace and dignity to which she is entitled.

[Walt Starr]

27. These people are horrible monsters

They should be put in prison for torturing Michael Shiavo for 15 years.

[mondo joe]

30. And keeping his wife a zombie

during that time.