This Terri Schiavo thing is turning my Mom into a Fudie, what should I Do?

[DemGirl7]

Everyday she says something that the Cable news networks have just spit out... and it is scaring me. She always says something bad about the husband, and says the same negative stuff about him what the cable news networks, and keeps on bring up the common in law wife and the kids, and that its wrong and aganist marriage and stuff. She also believes that she is not brain dead, and should be treated like any disabled person. I think the fact that the anniversity of my Dad's death just past maybe playing a part, and fact that she is still very, very upset from it, I am too upset, it's just that I'm in the phase that creeps the hell of of me to visit his grave, and I try not to think about it. I want to find a neuturl party, and see what they say, like a real scan of her brain, compared to a healthy brain. Also she seems not to understand the political aspect of it, she said that Congress had no right to get involved, and she does have a great disdain for most politicians, but I don't think she sees how the Repukes are trying to use it as a tool of their agenda. I want My Mom to be her normal self, I don't like the Fudie side she is showing and I don't know what to do?

[Rockholm]

1. Watch out for the "fudies" .........

Weren't they a group a few years ago?

[Kelvin Mace]

2. If I may suggest

Print out this summary of the Guardian Ad Litem report:

http://www.thoughtcrimes.org/mt/archives/001986.html

Or print out the entire report:

http://www.miami.com/multimedia/miami/news/0319schiavo_finalreport.pdf

You might also like to read this post:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3341688

David Allen
www.thoughtcrimes.org

[blondeatlast]

3. I changed a Christian fence-sitter with this:

They are keeping Mrs. Schiavo from God. the woman is to all intents and purposes a shell--with no cerebral cortex, that which makes us human is not present in Mrs. Schiavo.

You might also mention that if Congress can get involved in this, there's little to stop them from interefering in our spiritual lives in any manner they see fit.

Another DUer called it "law on demand." I think that puts it in a tidy little nutshell.

[BornLeft]

4. I don't know,

If you're close remind her that a stroke, heart attack etc could happen to her<i hope not> and if she was in the same condition as the nameless person in FL. Would she want to suffer and how long?

[DireStrike]

7. Ah, but you gotta be careful with that one

Mrs. Schiavo isn't suffering, and hasn't been since she functionally died years ago.

[BornLeft]

18. I would like to think she isn't

but i am not omnipotent and have no idea if she is or isn't. Things like that are better left to higher powers. Besides my head would explode if i tried to figure it out.

[Afje]

5. Check the basics

Talk to her and find out about the second coming and the rapture. If she does not believe in that, she most likely is not a fundy but just mourning and not ready to get on with her life.

[fob]

6. #1 - cut here cable, #2 - smash her tv's and radios

#3 - go over the FACTS with her

[Pacifist Patriot]

8. Cut the cord!

The electronic cords that is. Take her out to lunch, but preferrably not a sports bar with television screens.

Print off the cover article from DU...http://www.democraticunderground.com/articles/05/03/25_schiavo.html and have her read that while you wait for your entree.

[dhinojosa]

9. Tell her that TV is not an outlet for grief, and talk to her about it.

Hold on for some rough emotional stuff, but it would clear the air.

[CBHagman]

10. You could show empathy with her position, but also reason.

I am currently debating what to write back to a dear friend who differs from me on the Schiavo case. My friend is a devout Christian and generally progressive in her political stances. However, she doesn't agree about withdrawing life support, and I can certainly understand her position. She's not a posturing politician and she's not trying to impose her beliefs on others. It's taking the step to bring about death that she disagrees with.

As far as the case goes, maybe you could talk to your mother about how there is a tendency to oversimplify things and create victims and villains in any case, only to have the popular view shift over time.

From what I read about the case, Terri Schiavo is brain damaged to the point where she only experiencees a few bodily functions, and that's it. No memory, no emotions. And even the bodily functions are limited (no swallowing, for instance, and of course no chewing). Insertion of a feeding tube is intrusive and can cause infections.

What has crossed my mind is that people are using her for a symbol, even her parents, no matter how good their intentions might be. Could their actions have more to do with their own needs than Terri Schiavo's? It has crossed my mind.

And imagine how the people at the hospice must feel, now that there are these 11th hour claims of ABUSE. For crying out loud, the woman has been under care and scrutiny for 15 years, and now there are claims of abuse? It just doesn't pass the smell test.

The same goes for the sudden claim that Schiavo was misdiagnosed. The new "diagnosis" came without a medical exam. Who would you trust: the doctors who ran various tests on the patient or someone who was produced at the last minute and spent an hour observing the person?

The other thing that's overlooked in this is that A) families go through these sorts of heart-wrenching decisions all the time (Tell your mom about the baby boy taken off the breathing tube in Texas, against the wishes of his mother) and B) literally thousands of unnecessary deaths occur virtually every day due to disease and the like, but you won't get massive media coverage or celebrity/politician intervention. Are we losing our perspective?

[neebob]

11. Tell your mom that you can't have a common-law spouse

if you're already married to someone else. One small step.

[Stephanie]

12. Here is an excellent thread on the brain and its functions >

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3344232

[noonwitch]

13. Be patient and know it will be over soon

She'll forget about it a few weeks after Terri dies.

[Bouncy Ball]

21. But then her mom will still be susceptible to whatever

disinformation on something else the MSM spits out.

Introduce her to alternate news sources. Like BBC World News, World Link TV, International News Journal, etc. See if her cable or satellite carry those channels.

Likewise, does she have a computer?

[greenbriar]

14. TELL your mom to read USA today

it talks about the split between the families and how its all about money NOT Terri

[Orangepeel]

15. Don't be mean about it or imply that she is dumb...

I see a lot of that on DU. Someone makes a post like, "I don't know. It seems wrong to starve someone to death. If her parents want to take care of her, why not let them?"

Invariably, the post generates a flood of harsh responses to "get educated" or "aren't you on the wrong board" (not verbatim). Of course people respond this way because there HAVE been hundreds of posts addressing these issues and some of these posters are doubtlessly trolls.

However (and this is how what I'm saying relates to your mother), I can't help thinking that this discomfort about removing the tube is a perfectly natural reaction to the situation, especially with the media coverage it is getting, and that treating people as stupid for feeling that way is counterproductive, to say the least.

I think a better way to handle it is to acknowledge that it is a horrible situation for all involved but 1) she IS in a persistent vegetative state and 2) this IS what she wanted.

To believe otherwise means that you have to believe that not only does her husband want her to die regardless of these points not being true, but that all the doctors and judges who have looked at the case are in a conspiracy to kill her regardless of these points not being true. And that's just crazy. Of course the parents are able to find charlatan doctors and right wingers who are willing to exploit them and their daughter. But every objective doctor and guardian appointed by the courts has agreed that 1) and 2) are true.

[On the Road]

16. The Most Important Thing is to Show Evidence

that she has no higher mental function. The CT scan below says it all. Dark areas are missing tissue and are filled with fluid -- not just the large part in the center, but the smaller, more complicated areas in the front and on the sides. With so much missing tissue, there's no way she can possibly be conscious or aware.

The reason there are so many supporters for keeping Terry S alive is that she is presented as a real conscious person with a disability rather than someone who's completely brain dead.

*IF* she were conscious and still aware of her surroundings, the courts would have ruled differently and you yourself might feel differently. I think it's important to emphasize that your values are not that different from your mother's and that it's more of a difference in evaluating her state.

There is a silver lining to all this: If your mother can see that TS's situation is being misrepresented by Republicans and by much of the media, she might start to question her sources. I personally began to change a lot of my political views when I found out that much of what I had been told was wrong or misrepresented.

[Sperk]

17. tell your Mom that if she's ever in that situtation, you'll hook her up to

every tube and machine available, if that's what she wants. Terri should also get what she wants. Freedom.

[Bouncy Ball]

19. It doesn't sound like she's turning into a fundie (unless she is now

suddenly taking the Bible literally, and only certain parts of it), BUT it does sound like she is the typical victim of the MSM.

Get her AWAY from the TV if you possibly can. That alone would help a lot.

There are lots of unbiased sources of information like abstractappeal.com

Let her see those sources. Oh and Terri's CT scan and a normal one are around here somewhere.

[LSK]

20. you should just let it blow over

It will die down, not worth getting into a fight over it right now. Shes probably too emotionally attached. I have a feeling a lot of people are using emotion in this issue instead of medical evidence.