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paineinthearse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:43 AM
Original message
* launches preemptive attack on the Social Security program


ST. LOUIS, MO—At an appearance at the St. Louis Convention Center Sunday evening, President Bush declared the "grave and pressing need" for a preemptive attack on the Social Security program. "My fellow citizens, at this hour, brave administration and congressional forces are in the early stages of an all-out attack on Social Security, with the ultimate goal of bringing down the oppressive legacy of the New Deal, and big government itself," Bush said. "Through bold and decisive action, we will liberate our grandparents and our grandchildren from the threats of the system established by Franklin D. Roosevelt to provide retirement compensation for America's workers."

According to the Social Security and Medicare Boards of Trustees, if Social Security revenue and payouts remain unchanged, the nation's largest entitlement program will be unable to pay full benefits in 2041. "The Social Security system is a dangerous, financially unsustainable program," Bush said. "If we allow it to continue unchecked, we will need to resort to benefit cuts, tax increases, or massive borrowing in 36 short years. I call upon the combined forces of my administration and Congress to destroy this program and the threat that it presents to our way of life." "September 11 taught us that, in our unstable world, we must take bold, decisive action to protect our citizens from threats both foreign and domestic," Bush said. "We must free citizens everywhere from the threat of financial dependence on the government."

In the months leading up to Bush's declaration, he attempted to contain the Social Security program through a calculated long-range attack on its general fund. "Up until several days ago, we attempted to negotiate with Social Security, by proposing a plan under which wage-earners would invest their withheld income in the stock market," Bush said. "These personal savings accounts would have pumped a great deal of wealth into our deflated economy, but this is not about temporarily inflating a beleaguered market. It is a battle for freedom, and it is time to take decisive action. America, we must strike Social Security."

Bush said he was reluctant to detail the specifics of his strategic plan, as he did not wish to jeopardize national security. U.S. Army War College professor of economics Henry Reed said destroying the program will require a "broad and concerted campaign." "The Social Security system is complex and resilient, with a network of cooperative agents across the country and an entrenched relationship with many of the nation's most desperate elements," Reed said. "Luckily, a well-funded coalition of pro-business forces has already begun striking selected targets of legislative importance in order to stop the cells that provide assistance to people on the extreme end of the age spectrum."

more.....

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4113&n=1
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strategery blunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:48 AM
Response to Original message
1. I looked at ehe picture and immediately knew it was fake
There is ABSOLOUTELY NO WAY * would ever be that honest.:grr:
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paineinthearse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:51 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. busted!
Edited on Fri Apr-01-05 12:51 AM by paineinthearse
That didn't take long. Happy April Fool's day, everybody.
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strategery blunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 12:57 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. You're dealing with DUers, not freepers, here.
We tend to catch those sorts of things.;)
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paineinthearse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Dare you to post this at FR nt
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strategery blunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 01:13 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Hmm...don't give me any ideas
:evilgrin:

(Actually, I'm not all that interested because I can never tell who is replying to whom.)
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Liberty Belle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-05 08:34 PM
Response to Original message
6. LOL! Can we pass this out at those town hall meetings?
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