Study shows link between small penis size and violent acts/hunting

[kerry-is-my-prez]

http://www.peta.org/MC/NewsItem.asp?id=6168

While the results of the research are preliminary, scientists at the Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder Research Organization have discovered a genetic link between small penis size and the thrill of the hunt. The organization recently began to tabulate data from a two-year study of men with Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder (DMGD) and has posted the results on its Web site, DMGD.org.

The subjects of the study varied from men with a slight abnormality in penis size to men with pubis innius, a term for an inverted male pubic region. By tracing what has been identified as the "DMGD gene," an abnormality in the 21st chromosome was discovered. Researchers found that this abnormality appears to be consistently linked to two traits: abnormally small male reproductive organs and the ability to derive joy from killing, which starts with hunting small game and, in isolated instances, can manifest itself in homicidal acts. Research team leader Dr. Brian Upchurch and his colleagues in New Orleans, La., plan to investigate whether DMGD was a factor in the 2004 Sawyer County, Wis., incident in which a deer hunter went on a rampage and killed six other hunters.

"These findings confirm what we have believed for a long time: Hunters just don’t measure up," says PETA’s Justin Jest. "They are apparently overcompensating for their failure to hit the mark in the bedroom by blowing small animals away in the woods."

PETA intends to incorporate the findings of the study into campaign materials to combat hunting.

[edbermac]

1. April Fools was last week, dude...

But it's funny anyway...

[Cuban_Liberal]

2. 2 words: horse shit

I'd love to see the methodology on this so-called 'study'...

:rofl:

[spunky]

3. lol. Well at least the PETA folks have a sense of humor.

Even if they do get off on scaring little kids and making sensible vegetarians (like myself) look bad.

[Dogmudgeon]

7. Once a year, anyway

By the way, how are the preparations to picket redneck bars and splash pink paint on leather jackets going?

--p!

[Warren DeMontague]

29. Yeah, often they are funny without intending to be...

Like when they protest urban rat control, or petition against vaccines because of "viral rights", that sort of thing.

Hell, I don't eat much meat (just fish and free range poultry on rare occasions) I'm totally opposed to factory farming, I've never fired a gun in my life, I believe in compassion, etc. but the PETA folks have a disturbing tendency to go WAY too far-- like certain other sub-sects of the "left" that shall remain nameless, they sometimes have trouble seeing past their own agenda, and come off sounding like kook fundies, far too often.

[ohio_liberal]

4. Now I know for a fact

this is just not true :evilgrin:

[CatWoman]

5. OK you hunters -- let's put this theory to the test

[NNN0LHI]

18. (said real fast) I never liked hunting n/t

[Zorra]

6. Oh, please....not even a freeper would buy that. n/t

[Ironpost]

8. I can put that to rest, I don't like to kill anything

[Vektor]

34. HAHAHAHA!

You are probably far more "well equipped" than those who are getting angry and defensive.

Besides, a good sense of humor adds at least 3 inches. :-)

[davidinalameda]

9. LOL

too funny!

[KlatooBNikto]

10. I have often wondered why I am such a peace loving sort. Now I know!

[Skittles]

32. real men don't entertain themselves by killing things

absolutely

the article is bogus but in reality it speaks a lot of truth

[stanwyck]

11. Freud told us this decades ago

men with little guns buy big guns. My very unscientific research has found this to be true.
Ladies...if he has an arsenal of guns, just politely excuse yourself and leave.
Do yourself a favor and find a man with a gun that matters..and he didn't buy it at Wal-Mart.

[Swamp Rat]

12. HAHAHAHA!!!! ... "pubis innius!!!" ... HAHAHA!!!!

"Diminutive Male Genitalia Disorder" - HAHAHA!!! :rofl:

[alcibiades_mystery]

13. They call me Lucky Seven

Nuff said...

;-)

[rodeodance]

14. oh, for the love of god-what next!!

[alcibiades_mystery]

42. LOL

I thought that would be crude enough to elicit at least one "For the love of God." ;-)

[Deja Q]

15. You single?

:D

[cire4]

16. Did the study mention anything about Hummer drivers?

Personally, that (potential) relationship is what intrigues me the most.

[THUNDER HANDS]

17. but I don't hunt?

oh wait....

:evilgrin:

[Viva_La_Revolution]

40. I've been waiting for a special occasion for this smiley....

[Just Me]

19. *grin* I like this thread,...keep it goin' guys!!!!

:bounce:

The posts make the corners of my mouth nearly reach my ears!!!

:7

[flvegan]

20. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Oh, man, that's rich.

Buy a Hummer, kill defenseless animals...overcompensate however you deem fit.

Of course, the hunt-to-survive folks are a different story. But then, they wouldn't be caught dead in an H2 either.

[Warren DeMontague]

21. Are you trying to suggest that Ted Nugent has a small willy?

Perish the thought... he looks so... Virile.



I'm waiting for the corollary study, the one that definitively links teeeny-weeeny-peeenies to these things:

[two gun sid]

26. I've heard the rumor he doesn't even have a willy...

he has a wilma. But, that's only a rumor.

[Vektor]

35. The only Dick the Nuge has

is right between his ears.

[VPStoltz]

36. And the ones who don't hunt...

ride choppers. Now THAT'S "penis extensus."

[Vektor]

37. Tee-hee...

Quite literally!

[Behind the Aegis]

22. This has to be a joke

The spokesperson is "Justin Jest," and in "just in jest." I mean perhaps he is a real person...did anyone call the number under his name? If it is not a joke, it is pretty lame. Still, I think it is pretty funny, nonetheless.

[SmokingJacket]

25. Posted April 1st. There's no question....nt

[trekbiker]

23. dont believe it... my penis is tiny and I luv animals....

[hector459]

24. Not a joke. Little guys make war, not love.

Believe it. I know!!!

[Dave Reynolds]

27. I guess I am living proof of that.

Although my tiny willie does not make me feel inferior.

[Mr_Spock]

28. LOL - I heard this mentioned on AAR

They, like me, wrote it off as a joke. :D A good funny joke nonetheless!

[kerry-is-my-prez]

30. I only wish that I didn't get kicked off of Freeperville -

I'd love to post it there - it would be great to see their heads exploding.

[NNN0LHI]

31. I liked to play with guns when I was a little kid. I don't anymore

I must have grew out of it?

Don

[Vektor]

33. This may be a joke...

BUT I BELIEVE IT.

[lonestarnot]

38. Tehehehe n/t

[BiggJawn]

39. Well, there you have it.

And I thought I was conditioned for non-violence...

[Brian Morans]

41. penis innius? absolutlius ridiculus.

humerus maximus, howeverus.

[Name removed]

43. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ghostsofgiants]

44. You people aren't too familiar with satire are you...

"For Immediate Release:
April 1, 2005

Contact:
Justin Jest" (just in jest, get it?)

That should be evidence enough that this isn't a serious article.

Laugh a little.