I Want To Get Rich - Think I'll Apply as a Wepons Inspector

[HFishbine]

So Shrub & Co. want $600 million more for the search for Weapons of Mass Delusion. They say it's so they can increase the number of inspectors to 1,400 and fund them for another six to nine months.

Figuring another nine months of inspections, $600M works out to $47,619.05 per weapons inspector per month. Now granted, that can't all be salary, so let's subtract some likely expenses:

- Hummer lease: $800/month
- Driver: $800/month
- Translator: $1,200/month
- Copy machine lease: $80/month
- Cell phone: $80/month
- Private office: $250/month
- Personal secretary: $1,800/month
- Bodyguard: $800/month
- Gasoline: $200/month
- Food & Lodging: $1,800/month
- Clothing Allowance: $400/month
- Reimbursed campaign contributions: $120/month
- Laptop lease: $140/month
- Office Supplies: $400/month
- Miscellaneous Supples and Expenses: $2,000/month

Which leaves $36,749.05 per month ($7,656 per week) for salary or $330,741.43 total for a nine-month assignment.

Where do I apply?

[RC]

1. Are you a registered Republican?

You have to be a republican in good standing or at least a Moran to apply. There will be a background check by Homeland Security for your lineage also.

[LittleApple81]

2. THIS ADMINISTRATION STINKS!!!!!

I have been mostly lurking all morning...
What is wrong with us Americans? Why have we gotten to this point! I want my country back!
Buying Moore's book: Dude Where is my country.

[neebob]

3. How about "war crimes expert"?

They want $100 million for those, and it seems like more productive work than the search for WMD. Unfortunately, your bosses will fire you for identifying the war criminals. Well, there's always witness protection. Nuther $100 million there, and it's probably a safer job than, say, curator of the Saddam's Atrocities Museum.

[charlie]

4. Correction

$400,000,000 to create, import, and hide WMD.

...which leaves 109,144.67 per year salary. Still a swank job.