I Cannot Watch The Chimp... It's Infuriating

[arwalden]

One of the reasons. That I hate Bush. Is because he. Reads each line. Of his speech. On the teleprompter. Or on his printout. As though it were. A complete sentence.

I am convinced. That he cannot read. Whole sentences. Instead he can. Only process. Three or four. Words at a time.

Next time he speaks. Listen carefully to him. He will put a comma. Or a period. In the middle of. A sentence.

Folks, these are not. Dramatic pauses to emphasize. The message. They are completely. Random and meaningless.

At the end. Of each line. He not only pauses. But the tone of his voice. Drops as though he. Had reached a period.

They.
Installed.
A moron.

-- Allen

[Journeyman]

1. I certainly agree. With you. . .

And have long. Felt the same way. About his being. An idiot.

I think the pauses. And stops are. Indicative of how his. Handlers teach him to. Read the text. He probably. Gets a cookie. Whenever he gets. A paragraph complete.

[arwalden]

5. Definitely A Soft-Baked Cookie Reward...

pretzels are now kept on the top shelf.

(The executive liquor cabinet remains UNLOCKED, however.)

[virtualobserver]

2. I read that to my wife......

and she nearly fell on the floor laughing.

One of the most powerful comic forces is recognition of truth.

[Salviati]

3. I know exactly what you mean!

He's worse than Shatner!

[mlawson]

4. He came on one of the TVs last night at my brewpub here.

Everyone at my table booed him and gave him the finger. No one in the entire place glared at us or cheered him. :D

The bartender quickly changed channel.

[arcane1]

6. Worst. President. Ever.

god please let there be debates next year!!!

[jumptheshadow]

7. Now this really infuriates me

The guy's speech pattern is so annoying that it's like a bad old song. You hear him once during the day and you just can't get that dumb voice with its moronic inflections out of your head. I read quotes from him in the newspaper and I can. hear that. idiot's,
voice.

[noiretextatique]

8. he's truly illiterate, in every sense of the word

i have only watched him once...i watched him lie thru his teeth giving the SOTU address. i refuse to suffer through listening to him.

[Duncan Grant]

9. LOL! Brilliant Allen! Nailed it!

As Gephardt said yesterday..."a miserable failure".

[MissouriTeacher]

10. I also hate

the way he over-emphasizes his "s" sounds. There's a constant hissing sounds when he ssshpeaks.

I guess he really is part-verpine.

[cosmicdot]

13. "the way he over-emphasizes his "s" sounds"

aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhh!

what are we going to do to the terr-ists?
bring'em to .... jusssticccce ....

aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhh!

avoid even looking at him

I tried to listen to him give the pre-invade Iraq OMG he's drugged telepromter scripted everything speech -- I thought I would die ...

[nomaco-10]

11. I often wonder. Why. KKKarl didnt. Spring for. A Hooked on Phonics. For ..

BUZZARD BRAINS.

[alphafemale]

12. IF...he's even reading.

And it's not. A hidden ear. Piece with Karl.

Rove off...(pause-rapid blinking)...cam--er--rah...(clear throat)camera

Prompting the chimp. His speech three. Words at a time.

:evilgrin:

[Ilsa]

14. You really nailed it, Arwalden.

I was watching Powell speak to GWU today. I didn't like what he had to say as he was spewing that neocon garbage. But he was so eloquent, that I began to believe I could be "Peter Piper'ed" by him. He sounded intelligent and thoughtful. And giving credit to David Lettermen, there was no "Colin Powell Joke of the Day That Isn't Really a Joke."

You would think someone who purchased an MBA from Harvard could do a little better.

Your post is hysterical.