The Onion: National Museum Of The Middle Class

[mac56]

http://theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4044&n=1

SCHAUMBURG, IL—The Museum of the Middle Class, featuring historical and anthropological exhibits addressing the socioeconomic category that once existed between the upper and lower classes, opened to the public Monday.

(snip)

"It's fascinating to think that these people once drove the same streets as we do today," said Natasha Ohman, a multi-millionaire whose husband's grandfather invented the trigger-safety lock on handguns. "I enjoyed learning how the middle class lived, what their customs were, and what sorts of diversions and entertainment they enjoyed. Being part of this middle class must have been fascinating!"

(snip)

"No one predicted the disappearance of the middle class," said Dr. Bradford Elsby, a history professor at the University of Pennsylvania. "The danger of eliminating workers' unions, which had protected the middle class from its natural predators for years, was severely underestimated. We believe that removal of the social safety net, combined with rapid political-climate changes, made life very difficult for the middle class, and eventually eradicated it altogether."

(snip)

"Unlike members of the lower class, middle-class people earned enough money in five days to take two days off to 'hang out,'" said Benson Watercross, who took a private jet from his home in Aspen to visit the museum. "Their adequate wages provided a level of comfort and stability, and allowed them to enjoy diversions or purchase goods, thereby briefly escaping the mundanity."

(snip)

"Frankly, I think they're selling us a load of baloney," said laid-off textile worker Elsie Johnson, who visited the museum Tuesday with her five asthmatic children. "They expect us to believe the government used to help pay for college? Come on. The funniest exhibit I saw was 'Visiting The Family Doctor.' Imagine being able to choose your own doctor and see him without a four-hour wait in the emergency room. Gimme a friggin' break!"

(snip)

"You wouldn't know it to look at me, but my parents were middle class," Harrison said. "Even though my family fell into poverty, I cherish those roots. Seeing that section on middle-class eating habits really brought it all back: the Tuna Helper, the Capri Sun, and the cookie dough in tubes. Oh, and the 2-percent milk and reduced-cholesterol butter spread! I was thankful for the chance to rediscover my past, even if the middle class is gone forever."

[deutsey]

1. I read this yesterday...I thought it was funny but

I also found it hurt me a bit, as I struggle to cling to what's left of the middle class myself.

[mac56]

2. amen to that

I think many of us are in that spot.

[ceile]

3. Exactly what I thought

My boyfriend and I may move in together simply for survival. No one can survive on one income these days and I live in TX-one of the cheapest places to live in the country! I don't think I'll be "middle class" ever. Oh, yeah, and I have a college degree.

[AngryOldDem]

5. It hit me in the gut....

...because it describes my life.

[Union Thug]

4. Painful and oh so true....

Satire carries the message better than figures and stats in many cases. Go ONION!

[redqueen]

6. "No one predicted the disappearance of the middle class,"

Well that's a pantload right there.

But good satire, even if far, far too depressing.