Bush secret military service revealed

[trof]

I wrote this very tongue-in-cheek account almost six months ago and posted it here. Now I am actually hearing people refer to his* Viet Nam service.
:eyes:
<sigh>

RNS* Washington, D.C. Oct. 3, 2003
Presidential political advisor Karl Rove today made public President George W. Bush's military record for the so-called "missing" 18 months of his service in the Texas Air National Guard.

During a little publicized press conference in the Rose Garden (the White House media contingent received only 4 days notice), Rove displayed U.S. Air Force and CIA documents which put to rest for all time rumors circulating since the 1999 campaign.

"The president is a very modest man", said Rove. "He has never been one to blow his own horn. It took me 3 weeks to convince him that it would be in this great country's best interests to release this information at this time, prior to the national elections."

The documents show that the President, then 1st Lt. George W. Bush, received a secret transfer from the 111th Fighter Interceptor Squadron of the Texas Air National Guard to an unnamed (classified: "Top-Secret") F-102 squadron at Danang Air Base, Republic of South Viet Nam. Due to his family's notoriety, he served under the assumed name of "Norm DeGuerre". During the 18 months he served there he was credited with 10 "kills", shooting down 4 Mig-19s, and 6 Mig-21s, thus earning the title "Double Ace". He was also credited with destroying 12 heavily defended surface-to-air (SAM) sites in downtown Hanoi, Republic of North Viet Nam. For these heroic actions he was awarded the Air Medal (A.M.) and the Distinguished Flying Cross (D.F.C.)

During the 12th mission, his F-102 Delta Dagger suffered major flak damage and Lt. "DeGuerre" was forced to eject. He spent 3 weeks as a North Vietnamese prisoner of war before overpowering his guards and escaping. The trek back to U.S. forces took 7 weeks, all through snake infested jungle, during which he lived off of berries, bamboo shoots, and reptiles. At his debriefing he remarked "Those snakes sure would have tasted better if I could have cooked them, but I just couldn't risk making a fire."

Back at Danang, and just two days prior to Lt. "DeGuerre's" release from the air force, North Vietnamese Regular Army units attempted to overrun and capture this key air base. Lt. "DeGuerre" scrambled to his aircraft, and, dodging incoming mortar rounds, was able to take off on the shell-pocked runway (the only aircraft to get airborne that night) and, using napalm and rockets, single-handedly beat back the advancing armies.

For his actions "above and beyond the call of duty", Lt. "DeGuerre" received the Congressional Medal of Honor in a secret White House ceremony. George H.W. Bush, then CIA Director, pinned the medal on his son.
*Rove News Service

[JohnKleeb]

1. lol

I thought it was in the streets of Saigon, fighting STDs, "me love you long time",

[Kusala]

2. great, i think you thought up

the latest astroturf campaign.

I can't wait until the irony of the day I receive that as fact in my e-mail box, forwarded from a freeper, even though it's obvious sarcasm.

[Lars39]

3. He has a Vietnam doll now, too, from what I understand.

Somebody was supposed to post pics. Maybe you need to publish this clearly listed as satire, so that it can be referred to when debunking the claim. Especially if someone lists specifics of DeGuerre's brave service. :evilgrin: :shrug:

[trof]

4. I figured the RNS-Rove News Service

would be a dead giveaway.
:shrug:

[Lars39]

6. Well it is to DUer's, but think about who we're dealing with! : )

[underpants]

5. I thought he fought in Korea

Seriously that has been heard from some Dittoheads.

He was born in '52 I think.

Very funny trof.

[niyad]

7. born july 6, 1946 in new haven, ct

I knew dittoheads are stupid, but honestly. . . . .

[underpants]

13. Welcome to DU

:hi:

Born on the SIXTH of July?

As usual......at least a day late and 87 Billion dollars short actually 500 billion this year.

[trof]

12. Coming from a pair of airborne umentionables,

and one who has not infrequently been known to delve into the genre of written humor, I take that as a high compliment.
merci

[izzie]

8. Stop pulling my leg.

That would have been out 20 years ago. We all know he was in Mexico on a 18 months 'trip'

[trof]

9. Was that your LEG?

I thought it was...oh nevermind.
;-)

[Wickerman]

15. If Bus* woulda "tripped" for 18 mos.

we wouldn't be in this mess we are in now.
Missed opportunity.

[smallprint]

10. Norm DeGuerre? Any relation to Martin Guerre?

As in the classic French story "The Return of Martin Guerre" about a man who fakes a dead army buddies identity, returns to his village, and moves in with his wife and kids?

Except, in this case, he moved into the White House.


edited for spelling

[trof]

20. gotta credit someone here

Can't remember who.
He/she suggested "Norm DeGuerre" (nom de guerre) as a substitute for whatever fictitious name I'd used.

[geniph]

11. Oh silly, you forgot part of the story!

You know, the part where he rescued all the POWs...the untold part of the John McCain story!

McCain ought to publicly bitch-slap anyone who refers to *'s "VietNam" service. If he gets to claim it, then so should my big brother, who spent three years in the Army in Hawaii - it was VietNam-era, same as Resident Cokespoon. Except that my brother actually SERVED all his time...he didn't disappear for 18 months to a sanitarium.

[arcane1]

14. who in HELL is referring to the Chimp's Vietnam service??

:wtf:

[trof]

16. freeps

and other sheeple

[arcane1]

17. wh-wh-whaaaa...?

where arre they getting that nonsense from?? Are they just pulling it out of their asses and pretending it's true?

(as usual)

[northzax]

18. er, I saw those documents

and I'm afraid you mistranscribed them. the actual kill total for Lt. DeGuerre was 4 F-4s amd 6 A-4s.

[trof]

19. DAMN!

He was on THEIR side?
bummer