I'm bored, tell me a story.

[RevolutionaryActs]

:hi:

[SarahB]

1. You see there was this man named Jed.

He was a poor mountaineer who barely kept his family fed. Then one day while shooting at some food, up from the ground came bubblin' crude- oil that is, black gold, Texas tea. Well, the first thing you know old Jed's a millionaire. The kinfolk said, "Jed move away from there." They said, "Californie is the place you ought to be." So he packed up his bags and he moved to Beverly- Hills that is.

[RevolutionaryActs]

4. hehehe what a great story!

:silly:

[boneygrey]

7. You beat me to it.

Great minds think alike.

[boneygrey]

2. Let me tell you a story

'bout a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer....:hi:

[RevolutionaryActs]

5. LOL! You posted the same thing as Sarah!

:hi:

[Fenris]

3. There once was a princess named Rev

I forget how the rest goes...:P

[RevolutionaryActs]

6. What? Nooooooooooooooooooo! Remember damn you!

I'll tell you what..... since you can't remember, how about you just tell me what was in your pants. :+

[Fenris]

10. Uhhhhhh...

Lemme just see if I can remember that story...:D

[RevolutionaryActs]

13. ROFLMFAO!

[Fenris]

15. Lemme see...there was a princess named Rev

And she had a pony and lived in a castle made out of CAKE!:D

[RevolutionaryActs]

17. I like this story....

[Debi]

9. Yeah...do you really

have elephantitus?

[Fenris]

12. Not that I'm aware of.

[Debi]

18. That's not what whoisalhedges says...

which one of you is a liar, liar pants on fire?

[RevolutionaryActs]

14. Naughty, naughty!

:P

[Debi]

8. There once was a very, very, VERY naughty little revolutionary

who unwrapped all the Christmas presents on December 23rd and got a big fat spankin!!! :spank:

That'll teach ya!

[RevolutionaryActs]

11. LOL!

How did you know I opened presents on the 23rd? :o

[Debi]

16. I saw your pic

and you looked GUILTY!!! :eyes:

[RevolutionaryActs]

19. HAHAHA!

I was framed! Framed I tells ya!

[Debi]

34. As in picture frame?

:bounce:

[Bok_Tukalo]

20. OK

[RevolutionaryActs]

22. HAHAHAHAAHAHA! I love it!

:yourock:

[Bok_Tukalo]

23. Another one then

[RevolutionaryActs]

24. HAHAAH! Those are the best! I love them!

But I'm twisted like that, my favorite comic is White Ninja: http://www.whiteninjacomics.com/

[Bok_Tukalo]

21. sorry

Deleted dupe

[Darranar]

25. Once upon spacetime a very large piece of matter utterly refused...

to comply with Einsteinian Gravitational Regulations. Tired of all of the curvature, it decided to straighten spacetime instead.

God was very angry, and dispatched the Angelic Scientific Theory Enforcement Forces, General Relativity Division, to deal with the rebellious piece of matter. Satan, however, interceded, exploiting God's fondness for gambling and proposing that the piece of matter and God settle the matter with the rolls of ten six-sided dice. (Einstein rolled over in his grave.) God swore an oath not to abuse His omnipotence, and the large piece of matter agreed to comply with general relativity for the game's duration.

Satan, however, made no promises he did not care to break, and manipulated the dice game to result in a thirty-three to thirty-three tie. Invoking his authority as Supreme Ruler of the Universe, God declared victory, but the large piece of matter appealed to the Heavenly Court. This was a foolish move, for God, having made no promises to maintain fair trials, had long ago stacked the court with faithful servants. In a 613-0 decision, the Heavenly Court ruled in God's favor. Chief Justice Jesus Christ wrote the majority opinion, declaring that any other option would have resulted in a "drastic reduction in the cohesion of the universe," and added, regarding Einstein, that "even Jewish atheists deserve the right to have their theories respected."

Sulking, the large piece of matter returned to its place, once more forced to curve spacetime. It was later arrested and sentenced to Annihilation By Anti-Matter for an intricate plot to disrupt the flow of Goditons.

[RevolutionaryActs]

27. That....

.. was a fabulous story! :thumbsup:

[Darranar]

33. I think it is more like a symptom...

of a severe overdose of theology and physics, but I'm glad you liked it.

[Huckebein the Raven]

26. Ok here's your story:

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed.

;)

A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train," but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way.

:P

As you can tell I love ATHF

[RevolutionaryActs]

30. I just love the part:

"these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon"

[Bok_Tukalo]

28. After over 700 years of cleverly evading the professional seekers,

Walter Theo Delphore was irritated to find that some bored Millenial with a new hobby picked up his trail last century in a second rate bordello outside New Oort City ...

[RevolutionaryActs]

31. I like stories with bordello's

:silly:

[SOteric]

29. There's this one from earlier...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=2282520

[RevolutionaryActs]

32. That story is WONDERFUL!

hehe :thumbsup:

[StopTheMorans]

35. There once was a Duer named Revolutionary_Acts04. She was lame. The end.