Why do I even bother to try to eat salads? I can't.

[Bouncy Ball]

I had SUCH a hankering for a salad for lunch today. I went to this place that does pretty good ones and paid $5.50 for a big Asian Chicken salad.

Well, I get it back to my office and start looking at the greens underneath all the pretty stuff on top and a lot of it looks a bit brown around the edges. So I remove those pieces.

Then I started noticing that some of the darker leafy lettuce (the stuff I normally love) is REALLY wilted. So I remove those pieces.

I hate the iceberg chunks that are all white (no hint of green), so I remove those pieces.

Then I noticed that some of the carrot bits are dry looking. I spend a few more minutes hunting for those and throwing them away.

I decided I didn't want the purple onion pieces on it (just not in the mood for onion, though I normally like it), so I throw those away.

After all this looking really up close at it, I realize I don't like the look of the grilled chicken. It looks like the grill marks are kind of stamped or tattooed on (not literally, but they don't look ACTUALLY grilled). That grosses me out, so I take the chicken out and put it to the side.

I'm eating the bag of Wonton strips and roasted almonds.

So much for having salad.

On edit: re-reading this, I know there are a lot of people in the world who would have happily wolfed down that salad. In that sense, I am very American. :-( So shoot me.

[Habibi]

1. Sounds like you need to make yer own?

[Bouncy Ball]

2. When I shop for lettuce, I'm never happy with how it looks.

And I'm too picky about the other veggies, too.

:-(

[tridim]

8. Those bagged salad greens at the grocery are usually clean

and good quality. I hate buying heads of lettuce because the second half almost always goes bad before I can eat it (I live alone). The stuff in the bag stays fresh longer.

It almost sounds like you have a phobia.. Vegephobia?

[Bouncy Ball]

14. I have OCD.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's fairly mild, believe it or not.

Not using any medication to control it. It pops up a lot with food, symmetry and odd phobias.

Ah well.

[_TJ_]

20. My Sister too!

She has a bad case of OCD. Shes ok now though - lots o' drugs :)

[flamingyouth]

18. I live alone and do the same thing

I can never eat an entire head of lettuce and I'm really finicky about how it looks. I buy a bag of organic romaine and can usually eat most of it.

[RevolutionaryActs]

27. I heard a chef talked about those bagged salads, he said to always

wash them. They're fine, just wash them. :)

[fudge stripe cookays]

29. I live on those.

I especially like the Organic Herb Salad. When you open it up you can smell the wonderful dill, thyme, basil, etc.

It barely even needs any dressing up with the wonderful flavors inside!

I use a tablespoon of really dark fruity olive oil, and a bit of Greek seasoning (I buy it at Kroger in the spice section) and it is absolute heaven. This is coming from someone who has always HATED salads.

FSC

[gardenista]

30. Grow your own! Lettuce is one of the easiest things in the world to grow.

Anyone can grow leaf lettuce!

[jswordy]

15. DING-DING-DING! We have a winner!

I now have abandoned going out to eat and make my own salads for lunch every day. You can get your greens ready the night before, then do final prep in 5 minutes in the morning (add chicken or leftovers or whatever, add dressing).

Plus, you do not have to eat low-cost but nutritionally bankrupt iceburg lettuce. And you can buy all organic stuff if you want to avoid pesticides. Plus, you know your salad has not been srayed with preservatives to help keep it green.

I feel much better physically by eating those salads than eating out, too.

[Bouncy Ball]

19. I HATE iceburg lettuce. It's just gross.

I love the dark leaf lettuces and spinach, etc.

Mmmmm, spinach salad. Dammit, now that I didn't get my fix, I'm going to have to go by the store on the way home from work to get the stuff to make one for dinner. It's sad when you have to get a hit of salad.

LOL

[jswordy]

21. Try making your own for lunch, Bouncy!

It doesn't take any time at all. And you will know what you have, so it'll be easy for you to eat it. And $5 worth of stuff makes a couple DIY salads, too. I love the convenience of salads for lunch.

[tridim]

22. Spinach rocks!

It's my fave too. I went through my entire childhood hating it because my mom never served it raw. I always assumed spinach was a blob of wilted crap that looked and smelled like it had already been digested. Imagine my surprise when I discovered it in raw, leaf form. Spinach with balsamic vinagrette, homemade croutons and a crumbly dry cheese is to die for.

[jswordy]

24. The only thing about spinach is...

...it takes a TON of it to fill ya up. Or in the case of steamed spinach, it takes a ton to make a decent serving.

Other than than, rock n roll! Love it! I have some in my salad today, waiting for me now.

[Teaser]

3. You think you got it bad?

Sodexho runs our cafeteria. They use give us prison grade food. Mmm-mmm good.

[Bouncy Ball]

7. I'd lose a lot of weight if I worked there/went to school there.

(Sorry, I'm not clear if it's a school or place of employment.)

[Bouncy Ball]

10. Wow, Teaser, I just read your website.

Well, most of it anyway.

Neat stuff. What do you think about the Terri Schiavo case? ;-)

[Teaser]

23. Schiavo:

Well, looking at the CAT scans available, it's pretty obvious her cortex is non-functional. I've done surgeries in frogs that are similar. You oblate the cerebrum in the frog let it heal, and you basically have a robot. The animal can't learn anymore, and there is no evidence that it can experience pain at anything other than a reflex level, but it will still walk around, strike at flies, swim. It will eventually die if you don't euthanize it, because it will attempt to eat everything that moves, indisriminately, from motes of dust to someone walking by its aquarium. Most people couldn't tell that the animal is effectely dead at this point. In fact, these surgeries aren't considered "survival surgeries" by our IACUC (institutional animal care and use committee, an organization that certifies all experiments minimize or eliminate pain and suffering in any animal subnjects). The animal is considered "dead" once the surgery is done, even though it continues to move.

[Bouncy Ball]

25. Wow. I did enjoy reading your stuff. Very interesting!

Thanks for responding!

[Bouncy Ball]

4. I forgot to add, I DID eat all the mandarin orange pieces!

Those were yummy! But they had carrot bits sticking to them I had to get off first.

Is it any wonder it takes me over an hour to frigging eat?

[_TJ_]

5. Salads ruined my vegetarianism

after about 3 years of being veggie I had one too many awful
salads one day and it was all over :(

[Bouncy Ball]

6. You can really OD on them.

I almost ODed on salads a few years back.

Jennifer Anniston has had a Cobb salad for lunch every day for over 10 years. How the hell does someone DO that?

[_TJ_]

9. raw vegetables

In many restaurants here in Ireland veggies are pretty much
served raw too. Sometimes I think I'm a bunny when I eat out.

No wonder there are so many meat eaters here ;)

[Speck Tater]

11. It's a pity. Fussy people have so few things to enjoy in life.

We non-fussy types enjoy everything that comes our way, and get SOOOOO much more joy out of life. It's so sad to watch fussy people suffer knowing there is nothing we can do for them. :(

[Bouncy Ball]

16. Food's the only thing this really applies to with me.

I do enjoy life quite a bit and am a VERY happy person.

I just have.....quirks.

[BrklynLiberal]

12. I am so spoiled here in NYC. They have all these great places

where you can go in and there are all these trays with dozens and dozens of salad makings.
All of them are cut up, and fresh and delicious looking. There are lettuces, and carrots, and tomatoes, and olives, artichokes, beets, all kinds of veggies and cheeses, and cold cuts, nuts, etc.
Some are just little markets, but you can go into Whole Food Markets and get Organic salad makings too.
You pick and choose and put them into a plastic container. Then you can pick the dressing you want.
I am so sorry your lunch was ruined.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. We have Whole Foods here.

In fact, it was started in the capital, Austin.

It's a great place. We call it Whole Paycheck because we tend to spend so much when we're in there.

That's what I get for getting a pre-made salad, I suppose.

[fluffernutter]

13. ROFL! btdt, and agree completely. m

unless you make it yourself, or avoid looking at it all together while you eat, salads can just be gross. i know just what you mean about those stamped on grill marks - wtf is that all about?

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. Hey!!! Long lost, separated at birth almost sibling!!!!

I can't do it with salads and I'm bad that way with stir fry too! You are not alone!!! :hi:

[MissMillie]

28. So sorry, Bouncy

I have to admit, I feel very spoiled. Here at my job we have a cafeteria with a fabulous salad bar. Everything is so fresh and there is so much variety.

I won't tease you by telling you about the wonderful salad I made today.