Is it harder to make friends when you're over 40 ?

[steve2470]

It just seems that way. What do you think ?

[Piperay]

1. I think the younger you

are the easier it is to make friends. I know I have a very difficult time making friends. :(

[Bok_Tukalo]

2. It appears that way

By contrast, it seems to be much easier to keep them though.

[sweetladybug]

3. NO. I'm 50 yrs old and I choose my friends more carefully now,

more so than I did when I was younger.
Gayle

[TexasProgresive]

4. I turned 55 Wednesday

and I have little trouble making friend but no friendships are like those forged in my high school years. It was almost like we had PSI powers. Maybe we did and maybe it good that we lost it.

[Jack_Dawson]

5. GQ Says...

"Ask a 35 year-old man who his best friend is, and he will tell you it's the guy he got drunk and chased skirts with 15 years ago. "Why Men Can't Make New Friends" or something is the name of the article. So don't fret, you're not alone.

On the flip side, my best friend I met when I was 31.

JD

[catzies]

25. Hey, where have you been? Missed seeing you around here

So, do our basketball teams suck or what? The best guy for the Utah Jazz is...now immortalized in 8 feet tall bronze out on the street. x(

[Triana]

6. It's harder to do *anything* when you're over 40

..well, many things, anyway.

Try getting a date or a decent job over 40 or 45 or 50. HA!

You may as well be dead. Well, I speak from experience, mostly. Ageism, sexism...bah.

[mhr]

8. 47 Going On 48 - My Experience Is That If You Are Not Part Of The Parent

Crowd then other people don't have much time or use for you.

This severely limits social opportunities because most people over forty are tied up with child rearing.

Forget dating - what a joke!

As for jobs - Ageism is alive and well in corporate America.

[tigereye]

15. that's funny

since as a parent, I find that many other parents are often too busy to establish "friendships" ( in the way I think of friendship before I became a parent); although it is easy to do lots of school/playdate activities with other parents. I also did find that some of my single friends had a hard time understanding why I can't go out to a party at 10pm, why we prefer parties or dinners that start at six, or why I need to schedule things to do in advance. What works for me is meeting other folks with whom you have something in common for coffee and then go from there. I know I am more selective about friends as I have matured - I want both people to share and listen, and dislike one-sided friendships more.

[chelsea0011]

7. Proximity to more people when you are in school seems to be the reason

You can't get away from them even if you wanted. As you get older out interests become more developed and diverse. Many people don't seem interesting or for that matter interested in you. Choices become narrow. And 50% are friggin freepers so imagine how small the sample is now.

[Nikia]

9. I think it is harder to make friends after college

I made lots of friends in college (or high school). People were really open to meeting new people and making friends. There was a much higher percentage of like minded people and most students lived on campus.
When we get out into the real world, we have to choose our commuinities. Work is one community that most people have where we may or may not make friends for various reasons. The others are chosen. If you are unable to make friends at work and prefer staying home, it may be hard to make friends if everyone keeps to themselves in your neighborhood. Some people, who have children, make friends easily while their children are in school because they get to know their children's friend's parents.

[Jamastiene]

10. I'll spare you and your thread

the hemrrhoidal tirade I usually give to such a question from someone who obviously has no reason to feel that way. For you, no, it shouldn't be hard. For others, it's hard at any age. I usually like people over 40 more than most people my own age (34), but I'm always outclassed and out-everything else by you folks. I don't think age should make a difference. It's likeability that matters and I think you have it, so you should have no problem.

[steve2470]

13. oh thank you

That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a while. It made me smile:-)

[Deja Q]

11. I'm 32, had problems all my life. It's not as much age as persona.

If not countenance.

[ConcernedCanuk]

12. Not for me anyways - I was a shy kid

.
.
.

Started getting OUT of the shyness in my late teens

Not shy at all now, and "know who I am" so to speak . .

I know what I KNOW,

and I realize what I don't know; and have no need to pretend I understand something, or someone when I really don't have a clue

I'm no victim of peer pressure like many I know,

makes life much simpler for me.

I DID have more "acquaintances" when I was younger, but few I would really classify as friends . .

I would really LOVE to go back to my youth, and start back in about grade 6 and I'd TELL that gurl I had a mad crush on how I felt - and the one in grade 7, 8 and so on . . :evilgrin:

And I'd punch that schoolyard bully right in the face -

but be wise enuf to run like HELL afterwards!

(nobody sued for stuff like that back then either!)

[Jamastiene]

14. I'll spare you and your thread

the hemrrhoidal tirade I usually give to such a question from someone who obviously has no reason to feel that way. For you, no, it shouldn't be hard. For others, it's hard at any age. I usually like people over 40 more than most people my own age (34), but I'm always outclassed and out-everything else by you folks. I don't think age should make a difference. It's likeability that matters and I think you have it, so you should have no problem.

I didn't mean to double post. Is there a moderator in the house? This looks like an echo or something.

[rox63]

16. Somewhat

Mostly due to being more set in my ways, and overall grumpier than most youngsters.

[Hardrada]

17. Had friends but they drifted away when they had kids.

Had drinking buddies but I quit drinking so adieu to them.
I do have good acquaintanceships among my colleagues so I'm pretty much OK. And am in touch with my extended family and their friends.But it is almost impossible to make close friends later in life because of the fact fewer and fewer share your earlier experiences.

[Nikia]

20. I think it is tough making friends where many share common experiences

I moved away to college. After living in my college town for a year, I moved to a small Wisconsin town. Probably 95% of the people who live here were raised here or nearby and went to school together. They have known each other and each other's families since childhood. Many of them prefer to stick with the friends who they already have.

[Hardrada]

21. That sounds like the county I live in

Where it seems like everybody is related to everybody else except for the "newcomers." Or they are related to people in the next county. But we stay here since I don't think any other place would be much improvement. Wisconsin towns are, on the whole, in better shape than Iowa ones though.

[Bonhomme Richard]

18. No, you just get more obnoxious over 40.............

at least me anyway. My wife says I'm turning into my older brother.

[randr]

19. Shared experiences and goals are what

bring people together as friends. I found myself single for the first time at 40 and alone in a small western resort town. I was, fortunately, involved with a Community Radio station where people of all ages, incomes, and life experiences were aligned with a common goal. Not only did I make many new friends, they continue to be very close to this day-18 years later.
I would suggest to anyone seeking to broaden their possibilities to get involved in community service organizations, sports, continuing education classes, or anywhere that like minded people come together to accomplish higher goals.

[lolly]

22. I Think You Have a Smaller Pool to Work With

Those of you who mentioned how easy it is to make friends in college---

Think about it. Twice a year (3 times if you're on quarter system!) you have 3-5 new classes, all full of new people! You're meeting, what, about 40-80 new people twice a year, and possibly working with them on projects. You have a ready-made topic of conversation to break the ice (Hey! What are you writing the paper on? Did you find the reading he wanted us to look up? whatever).

Plus you have dorms, campus apartments, etc., etc.

Plus everybody's young and beautiful (sigh)

When you're on the job, on the other hand, you pretty much work with the same dozen or so people year in and year out. If you don't hit it off with them, you've got to go out and work at meeting people. They don't just show up in your classroom like they do in college!

Damn. I want to go back to college now!

[amazona]

23. it doesn't seem so to me

It should be easier to make friends that share your interest because you can join a club or church with like-minded people instead of just being thrown together with "whoever" like you are in career or school. Often when we're young, our "friends" are just whatever other weirdos happen to be at our school or job but we don't have deep common interests. Over 40 there is no longer the pressure to be "cool" because it's a lost cause. You can care about what you care about and others can too.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[CaliforniaPeggy]

24. I'll second what Jamasteine had to say. I'm 61 as you know, and I have no

trouble at all making new friends. It really doesn't matter about the age difference for me. Younger people are often the same age as my kids, but I don't see them as my kids. I'm interested in them as people first. The same goes for people older than me; I see them the same way. I just don't think about their age...It helps to be people oriented, which I usually am. They interest me. And people respond positively to that interest, usually. That's how it is for me, anyhow!

:hi:

[catzies]

26. No, it's just easier when you're younger and still in school.

When we were little, we made friends with the kids on the street we lived on, or in the school we went to.

As adults we do it in our churches, clubs, teams, offices, etc.

Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.

[Arugula Latte]

27. I think you do get much pickier, and that makes it harder.

(BTW, I'm 39 so can't speak definitively for being over 40 -- ;) )

However, I look back at some of the people I hung out with in college, for example, and simply shudder.

[DELUSIONAL]

28. No!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!