Stupid Joke Thread

[name not needed]

Why did the cat cross the road?

Because he was stapled to the chicken.

A man is at the circus one day and a clown walks up to him and says, "YOU SUCK!" He is flabbergasted and unable to reply; the clown laughs at him and walks away. So the man is determined to learn to retort, and enrolls in clown college. He studies hard and, after four years, graduates at the head of his class. Confidently, he returns to the circus, and the same clown says, "YOU SUCK!" The man replies,

"Fuck you, clown!"

[A HERETIC I AM]

1. Mr Rabbit, Mr Turtle and Mr Lizard are good friends.......

One day they decide to set out and seek their fortune. They come across a plot of land and decide on farming. "We are going to need fertilizer" says the turtle. They decide the raBbit is to go and find some manure to fertilize their garden. The Rabbit sets off and comes back 4 months later to find a HUGE mansion with gardens and fountains everywhere. He knocks on the door and a snooty butler answers. "Ummm...is the lizard here?" The butler replies "Mr. Li-ZARD IS OUT IN THE YARD. "Well, is the turtle here?" "Mr Tur-TELL IS OUT BY THE WELL. "OK, fine....tell them MISTER RA-BITT IS HERE WITH THE SHIT!"