Ideal traits in a mate

[Reverend_Smitty]

My friend and I were talking about what traits would be in our ideal men. I said intelligence, sense of humor and a sense of right and wrong. I told her my ideal mate would be a cross between Jon Stewart and Atticus Finch. After my whole description she called bullshit because I made no mention of looks. I told her I lust after looks but ultimately I fall in love with the mind. She still wasn't convinced. So tell me, are looks really that important to you? Or do I have shallow friends? What are your ideal traits in a mate?

[fluffernutter]

1. you have shallow friends.

i'm with you, looks are great, but it's the mind-meld that really matters.

[Reverend_Smitty]

5. good, I thought so...

I'm not talking about dating the elephant man here, I could still fall in love with a guy that maybe doesn't have "conventional" good looks but has a great mind. Last time I checked the mirror Marilyn Monroe wasn't staring back at me, so who am I to judge

[Sanity Claws]

2. Looks are important to an extent

As long as the guy is within the normal range of looks and hygiene, I focus on his brain and personality, not looks.

[Cannikin]

3. Find the one that makes you laugh.

[LiberalEsto]

4. First, they have to be a Democrat (mine is)

and progressive and tolerant and intelligent, and liberated - meaning not too horribly sexist.

I can't even imagine how disgusting it must be to have sex with (gaah) a Rethug.

[khashka]

6. I would say looks

but the most fulfilling and long lasting relationships were based on other qualities.

I do think that "unattractive" people who are loyal, kind, funny, caring.... well, you just wake up one day and realize they really are beautiful, you just hadn't noticed it before. And you kinda wonder how stupid you were...

Khash.

[tjdee]

7. Women don't care what a man looks like. Men do.

I've said this here before...women will fall in love with any old guy (I mean, look no further than Laura Bush). That's why you get so many women around here saying they like Jon Stewart (who is no Jude Law but very, very adorable), Keith Olbermann, etc. We have eyes, obviously, but if Johnny Depp was an airhead not many of us would lust after him so. (Not *many* of us, LOL!)

Men are much more fixated on what the woman/man looks like, and are more willing to put up with a dummy/bitch/whatever as long as they look good and will have sex with them. Unless someone is going to tell me how much they dig Greta Van Susteren or Judy Woodruff. That may be a bit unfair though, as no female equivalent of John Goodman/Larry King is allowed anywhere near the airwaves.

There are exceptions, but that seems to be my observation.

[Redstone]

8. Well, my ideal mate would be someone pretty much

exactly like Mrs. R.

I'm a fortunate son of a bitch, and remind myself of that every day.

Redstone

[purr]

9. Someone who I'm

comfortable with.. makes me laugh.. supportive, and has to have SOME brains.

Of course.. I'm married, but if I was in the dating game again, I'd go for a man without a psycho ex and a kid.

[Nevernose]

10. All my hopes dashed in but a single sentence...

...if I was in the dating game again, I'd go for a man without a psycho ex and a kid.

[purr]

11. Which part?

Psycho ex or a kid? If the kid is older than say.. 10 I really wouldnt mind. My hubbys 5 yr old is brainwashed by his psycho ex and is trying his damn hardest to split us up and create tension whenever he can. ARGH.

[Sugar Smack]

12. I think some important qualities are loyalty,

intelligence, a SENSE OF HUMOR, and a natural, not forced, curiosity about their surroundings. I would also want a "partner in crime". I'd want a man to be sensitive, but to play with me when we feel like being tough. I like silliness, also.