My God, I just realized I'm a bachelor

[Ivory_Tower]

My whole adult life I've been a "single guy", but now I'm over 40, and a friend of mine sent me some photos of his kids from father's day, and it occurred to me that I'm too old to be a "single guy" anymore...I'm a "bachelor"!!!

Does this mean that I have to go out and buy a smoking jacket, and start drinking martinis?

[Az]

1. The proper term is

Confirmed Bachelor. Mind you, the Purina Bachelor Chow makes it all worthwhile.

[Ivory_Tower]

9. I haven't had my bachelor confirmation ceremony yet

Don't they have those?

But thanks for reminding me about the Bachelor Chow, I forgot all about that!

[SOteric]

2. Just don't grease your hair back

[Az]

5. Or your back hair

er but that goes without saying.

[Nambe]

3. Cycle, jog, kayak, and start raising other people's chidren.

Works for me and I'm not 40. I love way too many wonderful people to get stuck with only one.

Good luck.

[BiggJawn]

12. I found that raising other people's kids made me old before my time...

Must have been the kids....:-)

Now if I can just quit falling off my Fuji on the dismount...

[MercutioATC]

4. No, I think "bachelor" means Fox will start throwing young women at you...

...and demanding to film it...

[Ivory_Tower]

10. AGH! Not Fox!!

I don't mind the young women part, but the filming part, and the Fox part?

That's a good point, though -- if I recall, those "bachelor" shows always showed studly guys in their 20's. Those aren't bachelors, they're single guys. Feh.

[TheZoo]

6. I think I am

No one ever told me the time frame is from being a "widower" to being a "bachelor".

Any ideas, anyone?

[Skittles]

7. OH PLEASE

IT'S SOUNDS A HELL OF LOT BETTER THAN "SPINSTER".

[Ivory_Tower]

8. Heh

I suppose so, although if I'm not careful the next step from "bachelor" is "old fat guy". :)

[Az]

11. The day

you lean out your front door and yell "Hey you kids, get off my lawn" is the day you know you have become the cotchity old codger.... or Bob Dole.

[BiggJawn]

13. Oh, dear...I was old at 24, then!

Now I don't give a rat's ass...

[Ivory_Tower]

14. Man, I've come close

I'm on a dead end street with a million kids (okay, I'm exaggerating -- a thousand kids) who are always playing in the street. They keep leaving their bikes and stuff on my sidewalk, and I keep finding footballs and frisbees in my backyard.

But yeah, then I think of Bob Dole, and I keep quiet.

Actually they're not that bad (I even let them sled on my lawn in the winter) but trying to drive down the street when there are four roller skaters, three Big Wheels, five bicycles, and seven basketball players on the street can get a little cumbersome.

[Az]

19. I recently

Leaned out the door upon finding some kids playing on my lawn and said, "Hi kids, I've always wanted to say this, Hey you kids, get off my lawn ...." Waited a few seconds as the kids tried to sort out what was going on and then told them it was ok to play on the lawn and I was just kidding around. Man that was cathardic.

[Skittles]

15. IF ANYONE EVER CALLS ME

A SPINSTER *OR* AND OLD FAT WOMAN I WILL KICK THEIR ASS.

[Ivory_Tower]

16. And you'll never hear that from me

(backs slowly away...)

I hate getting my ass kicked.

[dweller]

17. consider yourself lucky

after 2 failed marriages, i'm considered a 'loser'.

i just thought i was normal, average, maybe unlucky...who knew?

but, the dad part is worth it, nobody thinks i'm a loser here at home.


nite all.
dp

[Ivory_Tower]

18. Nah, I've had that tag in my file for a long time already

Hey, a buddy of mine went through two divorces and is currently VERY happily involved with someone new.

Hope springs eternal, I guess.

[Archae]

20. You're not alone.

I'm 43, and have never been married.

I just saw too many problems with my sisters and the divorces they went through, and I'm shy when asking women out.

BTW, I was called by a producer at "Dateline NBC" several weeks ago, he said they are thinking of doing a show on straight men over 35, who have never married.

Nothing yet since that one call, but wouldn't that be a hoot and a half, a DU'er on Dateline NBC?

[Ivory_Tower]

21. Ironic that it's on "Dateline"

But that would trip having a DUer on there. Good luck!

I had the opposite problem -- my brothers have had terrific long-lasting marriages (I hope I haven't jinxed them), so I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to get my relationships to measure up to some unattainable ideal.

Plus, I just suck at relationships.

[kskiska]

22. There's no age limit for bachelors

An unmarried guy is always a bachelor, though more so the older he gets. It used to be a different story for a woman, though. A woman over 29 was considered to be an "old maid." I've said this before, but I remember how there was a rush to marry off Princess Margaret before she turned 30 so she wouldn't be considered an old maid, and be doomed as undesirable.

In reading the supermarket rags at the store, I notice a trend where divorced male movie stars are now called bachelors. Not so.

[Wcross]

23. Yup

I am 40 y/o and have never been married, I never will. I am not attracted to the married man lifestyle. I enjoy the company of women but don't care for the life long commitment that marriage requires, or the financial ruin that often occurs as a result.

[Astarho]

24. I think when

you're over sixty you can qualify for "Hermit"?

[RushIsRot]

25. Not so! I'm over 60 and have just met a great woman!

I now have hope that maybe I have finally found a mate after ALL these years of trying and failing. It's NEVER too late until you're buried!

[Astarho]

27. You've given me hope

Now I hope I don't have to wait thirty-some years.

[RetroLounge]

26. I think I missed the bachelor part...

I was a single guy. (until I was 27)
Then I was a married guy. (until I was 28. Don't ask)
Then I was a divorced guy (until I was 36. Ask, It was FUN!)
Then I became a married guy again.
Then a Dad.
Then a Dad again.

Now I'm 42 and I'm practicing for dirty old man.

[demnan]

28. Fuck, ya!

And find some opinioned old maid who doesn't give a horse's patut what people call you!

Hey everyone doesn't need to have children, ok? There are billions of them out there. The human race will go on without your genetic contribution!