ISN'T HE CUTE? Can we KEEP him???

[Bouncy Ball]

I had a roommate in college who had a boyfriend who went to a different college.

When he came in to visit her for the weekend, I'd come home from classes on Friday to find her sitting on his lap in the living room and she'd yell "ISN'T HE CUTE??? CAN WE KEEP HIM???" and she'd proceed to nibble on his ears while he giggled.

If you said ANYTHING was cute, a picture of a kitten, or a sweater another roommate bought, she'd say "No it's not, DAVID is the cutest thing in the WHOLE WORLD! Can we KEEP HIM?"

Their physical affection was legendary. But it was the way she talked to him and about him that drove us bananas. She'd scream all this stuff in a really high-pitched voice, too. "HI BINKY BEAR!!!" "HI DOOKLEY DOO!!! OH YOU'RE SO CUTE!!!" He never did it back, but he liked it.

Now believe it or not, she wasn't nearly as obnoxious as she sounds (somehow she actually made it slightly funny--she sort of parodied herself) and I am friends with her to this day. They married right after college and are still married and very happy.

Also, if you ever said anything like "where's the remote?" she'd say "I ate it" or "it's in my mouth." FOR EVERYTHING.

I forgot about him: he loved to suddenly LAND on us. He was a gymnast and had the boniest ass ever and it HURT when he landed on you. He was like a spring-loaded monkey, you never knew when he was going to pounce. I would actually wince around him, expecting a bony ass on my legs.

He was at my husband's bachelor party. They were in a bar and he decided to do a backflip IN THE BAR. He knocked over a table and several pitchers of beer and they got kicked out. Stinking drunk, he left the bachelor party, came over to MY apartment, and LANDED on me in my bed, where I was sleeping. It was 2 am. God I was mad.

His girlfriend (now wife) was in the other bedroom. He knew it was me, he just wanted to tell me congratulations about the upcoming wedding.

Tell me you've known people that obnoxious.

[WindRavenX]

1. holy shit I thought I was bad

Now I feel better. Holy shit, those people need help :o

[Bouncy Ball]

2. You know what's really bad?

I love them to death. They are my closest friends. Fortunately, they have both turned it down several notches in the last 15 years or so! LOL! Especially him, I can't tell you the last time he landed on me. Now he just farts around me. :eyes:

[Radical Activist]

16. Why are you the first person to post on like EVERY thread you post on?!

Seriously, I can't count how many times I read a thread and seen that you were the first person who posted. What's up with that?

[Bouncy Ball]

18. She's faaaaaast.

Fast as the WIND. Fast as a WIND RAVEN!

[WindRavenX]

21. I'm magical

You know, magically delicious...or something...:P

[Radical Activist]

22. hehehe

So you're delicious and fast? hmmm....:evilgrin:

[WindRavenX]

23. now now ....

...I'm only fast when I want to be fast. :evilgrin:

[Dookus]

3. damn

some people get all the luck. I can't count the number of times I lay in bed at night, hoping for a gymnast to land on me.

[Bouncy Ball]

4. OH I laughed hard at that, Dookus.

Though honestly I think you'd hit him or kick him out after about three seconds. He would have bugged the SHIT out of you.

[Dookus]

5. I doubt it

I keep a ball-gag in the nightstand.

[Bouncy Ball]

6. Ok the boney ass wouldn't be a problem?

Puh-leeze.

:D

[mtnsnake]

8. LOL!

:hi:

[LizW]

7. "You so schmoopy!"

What show was that from, Seinfeld or Friends? It was how they made fun of couples that talked ridiculous baby talk to each other.

I can't believe I can't remember where that came from.

This guy fell on you and woke you up at 2 a.m. the morning before your wedding????? I hope you crushed his nuts.

[Bouncy Ball]

9. Nope, I was too groggy.

He was too damn bouncy. His woman got up, came in there, yelled at him and kicked him out.

[Bouncy Ball]

10. Isn't he CUTE? Isn't he CUTE? Isn't he just a widdle

blinkey bloo cutey patootey schmoopie poopie bear? Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo he's SO CUTE!!!

(Proceeds to nibble on his face)

CAN WE KEEP HIM?

[hfojvt]

14. Seinfeld, he had a girlfriend who called him schmoopy n/t

[LizW]

24. Thank you. I did NOT want to have to get out the DVDs.

:)

[HEyHEY]

11. There's this asshole on this board...forget it, I've said too much

[Bouncy Ball]

12. LOL

Does he call people pet names and nibble on them?

[HEyHEY]

13. I'm this close to spurting his name, but that would start a bunch a shit

MUST HOLD BACK

[Bouncy Ball]

15. It's me, right?

[HEyHEY]

17. No, I said "He"

[Bouncy Ball]

19. Oh God, I forgot what gender I was for a second, thanks!

Ok PM me, get it out. :D

[khashka]

20. My version of your story

In college I knew this girl... (bad start already, huh?)

And she had this boyfriend, who nobody ever saw - for years. Everytime he'd come up in conversation (as in, how's Mike doin'?) she'd recite in this high pitched sing-song voice "I'd marry him, if only he'd ask me!"

When you'd get her to quit saying that - a tough job - and ask where he was (none of us ever saw the guy) she'd answer in the same voice "Washing his Bronco!" I swear, if he washed that vehicle even a tenth as much as she said it wouldn't have a lick of paint left on it. But apparently he did ask her and the Bronco survived.

We also had this annoying Campus Crusade for Christ dude who ended every statement with "you have made my life more meaningful". After a semester of that we were desperate to find ways to make his life more trivial! We finally made buttons that said "Sam says: You have made my life more meaningful". Cruel, but he quit it and turned out to be a pretty nice guy in the end. We ended up being pretty good friends and I had sex with him on the fire escape of a sleazy motel although he made me swear I'd never let the Campus Crusade for Christ find out. Like I had any dealings with 'em! I was a charter member of Campus Crusade for Cthulhu - we didn't mix in the same social circles.

Khash.