My self-pity rant: I hate job hunting every year, damn it!

[iconoclastic cat]

Does anyone else hate this stupid mercenary job market?

I, for instance, am a teacher. This is my first year as a teacher, and I have performed horribly. I don't believe that anyone has learned anything. I have not had a mentor of any sort, so when my education proved useless, I began to improvise; needless to say, I choked. Of course, I won't find out if I am being asked back until June, so to cover myself I have to start looking for a new job again (no, not as a teacher).

I was complaining about this exact issue to a couple of friends, and they just laughed: for them, and most people, June is every day. Everyone who works has placed their fate in the fickle and often psychopathic hands of a few people who have made it to the top of the food chain.

Damn it, I'm tired of being what's for dinner. The incompetent people seem to be in charge, while the rest struggle in filth.

Hey, I'm an idiot! Should I become an administrator or other miscellaneous cog in the world of education? What do you think?

[LynneSin]

1. You should get more education!!!

Seriously!

I highly doubt you're a horrible teacher but just suffered through first year jitters as one. If you happened to not be asked back though, why not find a job and take additional education classes in the evening to expand your degree.

I was never a teacher but I can assure you I sucked pretty much my first year on the first job I had out of college. But as I grew older, I seemed to settle down and do much better - until Bush Sr. recession which helped to alleviate me of a job altogether.

Don't panic, we need progressive minded teachers like yourself. If first you don't suceed, try try again!

[iconoclastic cat]

2. My education: MA+15

Or, in this case, MA+15=BLOODY USELESS.

Thanks for the encouragement, but I have about had it with academia. I have a feeling that I stayed in the ivory tower for too long, and I never learned the reality of the situation.

[Longgrain]

3. Try getting a novel published, or a cartoon syndicated,

or an art agent to represent you.

"Not what we're looking for at this time" is a phrase I'm all too familiar with.

[iconoclastic cat]

4. Yeah, I'm sure.

I actually did shop a novel a few years ago. I also recognize that many people are in much worse situations (hell, read Tracyjo's thread).

[Tom Kitten]

7. I think you should just take some time...

sit back in an overstuffed chair, and relax for awhile...

if you're teaching, your students should be your main concern...do you think you're successfully teaching them anything? Do any of them like you?

Of course it's your first year jitters, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself...The admin, of course, that's a different story...

People are insecure all over (I mean look at me) and the higher ups look upon this as a way to manipulate you through fear. It's an old story, been going on for years, and don't look for it to get any better soon...Let's face it, people like us have to adapt, and that can be done without growing callous to those who need our individual help. No, it's not a good situation to be in but we're being forced into it!

All I can say to you right now is this...Those kids you teach are your number one responsibility...so teach them as best you can! And by doing so you stimulate your own mind and by doing so you can better your own situation by increasing your self confidence in your own abilities...which I'm sure you have! I'd just do that and worry about June when it rolls around...In the interim, you know you have friends here! After all, we're all in this together!

[amazona]

11. shopping a novel is a waste of time

At least in the U.S. unsolicited novels have not been considered by publishers for many years. I accept that there is a huge industry to sell people "how to write" books and the yearly copy of "Writers Market" that says otherwise, but this is a scam.

Even "real" agents these days don't accept work from unknowns. Only the scammers do.

People who want to get a novel published these days have to be incredible networkers or involved in one of a relatively few (and highly competitive) writing programs where their work can be exposed to name writers and editors who can help them. The quality of your novel is not in question, as it was most likely not ever read by anyone you submitted it to.

I would never tell anyone to get involved in fiction writing these days. The chances of ever being self-supporting are close enough to zero to be effectively zero. Might as well plan on winning the lottery.

You did the right thing by educating yourself and trying the teaching thing. If this teaching job doesn't work out, maybe another, in a better district. And even if "no one learns anything" (which I secretly doubt, you're just being too hard on yourself) by taking the teaching job you are providing for yourself and putting food on the table -- and that is perfectly honorable.

[teach1st]

5. Do you want to continue to teach?

If you want to continue to teach, and if you're comfortable doing this, go to your administrator and tell him or her your feelings about your job performance. Ask for coaching from your administrator. Ask for a mentor.

It's possible that you are more critical about your own teaching than others are. I've seen that often with teachers, beginning and veteran.

One more thing. You can gather online mentors. I've worked with quite a few beginning teachers who have visited my class site by chance and asked for help.

[iconoclastic cat]

6. Oh, here's a story for you: we are mandated to be mentored!

Check out this load of crap: all first and second year teachers in the Chicago Public Schools are mandated to participate in what is called the "G.O.L.D.E.N. Teachers Program." I have no idea what that acronym is supposed to mean. Regardless of the nonsensical acronym, however, I was assigned a mentor by our principal under this program. This teacher was a ten-year vet, and she took $1000 to meet with me each week, observe me for a total of six hours, and report back the principal after my final observation/evaluation, and this report would decide whether or not I was retained.

This person never once observed me in the classroom, yet she filed all of the observational reports with the principal and took the money. Everything in my file is totally fraudulent. You can't possibly tell me that the principal doesn't know about it, either.

So, what the hell is my fate, since all they have to go on is the buzz about my performance?

I should tell you that I did ask for another teacher to observe me and offer advice; she had some very scathing (but valid) criticisms of my teaching, which I have tried to remediate. I have since found out, though, that she told the principal that she "wasn't sure" about whether I would "cut it." (A student aide heard this conversation.)

So here I am: Totally paranoid and freaked out. Because Mrs. IconCat is pregnant, I absolutely cannot afford to be without a job, but my warning bells are shrieking.

Sorry for the rant.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

8. Report to the principal or superintendent that she never even observed...

And then let them know your feelings. What grade are you teaching? Maybe you need to teach older kids? My best friend has just received her teacher's license for oklahoma, and she's great at it. If you want me to hook you up with her email, she'd be happy to talk to you I'm sure. I know she doesn't have an MA, but she's a total natural, and could help you with that something extra that most education schools don't teach. My ed psych teacher is appaulled that education majors can construct beautiful billboards, but when it comes to teaching style, a lot of teacher fall short. I hope it gets better. It sounds like you need a different school district.
Duckie

[iconoclastic cat]

12. Considering the politics involved, going over her head would be very bad.

I would be forcing them to reprimand (at the least) a teacher who is being groomed for an assistant principal's position (she has almost completed the coursework). They would make sure that I would never teach again. I can't say a damn thing.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

19. She's committed fraud to your school district, and is saying nasty things

And you can't say anything? Screw that. Say something, and if they try to make sure you never teach again, I say get an attorney. There are laws protecting you. This is ridiculous(I can't believe this is pissing me off like this. LOL). She SHOULD be reprimanded. Who cares if she's a pet and getting groomed? I think you need to take a stand on this issue. I think she needs to stop taking money for nothing and start doing her job. God, this is why I hated most of my teachers in elementary and middle school. You could tell they were only there for the money and didn't give a crap if I was there to learn or not. Please stand up for yourself! If you don't, then she's going to screw the next teacher that comes to her for help. This is a cycle that has got to stop NOW!
Duckie

[iconoclastic cat]

22. Perhaps I should see an attorney.

I really don't want to be a carpet.

[Heidi]

9. The GOLDEN Teacher Induction and Mentoring Program:

IC, here's a link to the GOLDEN Teacher Induction and Mentoring Program. It doesn't sound to me like your "mentor" earned her $1,000. They're supposed to observe you in the classroom.

http://goldenteachers.cps.k12.il.us/teachers1/index.htm

[iconoclastic cat]

10. Yep. That's the one.

Yeah, I know she didn't earn it.

[Heidi]

14. But you need to let her boss and YOUR boss know . . .

how frustrated you are that you didn't get the benefits of the program objectives, and that you don't feel that your students got those benefits, because your mentor didn't, in fact, mentor you in accordance with GOLDEN's guidelines.

You can do this in a professional way -- if, that is, you really want to stay in teaching.

Good luck, iconoclastic cat. I know a career change is frightening, especially with a baby on the way. But I changed careers at 36 and though it was a tough go the first year or so, I couldn't be happier.

[iconoclastic cat]

20. Thanks for the good vibes! If only I knew whether I was really being fired

If I bring this up, and it turns out that they were going to ask me back after all, I've proven myself disloyal.

[teach1st]

15. Document it right away

Document it all and get with your union. Although from news reports your union seems to be a part of the wholesale slaughter of beginning Chicago teachers, you might want to get with them anyway.

[iconoclastic cat]

18. Damn, teach1st, do you think I should open that can of worms?

If it looks like I turned on my mentor, I'll never be trusted by the faculty again.

[Heidi]

21. That's not necessarily true.

My mom was a teacher for 35 years, and quite a rabble-rowser. She also was elected teacher of the year three times by her peers.

If your mentor has shorted you on guidance, it's likely she's shorted others, too.

[iconoclastic cat]

25. Yeah, but teachers in the Chicago Public Schools can be fired w/o cause

for the first four years. I have no right to recourse. They could reprimand my "mentor" and still fire my ass with impunity.

[Heidi]

29. I know it doesn't look this way now, IC,

because you're feeling paranoid and scared, but whatever happens, you'll be OK. How do I know that? Because you _have_ to be OK, for your own survival and because others depend on you.

And if you ever need someone to give you permission to get out of a career you hate, I'm the one to PM with one caveat: "Always have a Plan B."

Sending you good vibes.

[iconoclastic cat]

30. Thanks. BTW, the act of teaching itself is a fun, when it happens.

If I had better classroom management skills, those moments would occur more frequently.

[Heidi]

31. My own mother advised me not to become a teacher.

In the state where I went to college, students headed for a teaching degree had to do "student teaching" once a week in about our sophomore year. I did my student teaching (observation, actually) in my mother's classroom. She was brutally honest with me and, for the sake of the children, I became a journalist, a career I loved for 20 years.

[iconoclastic cat]

33. That was nice of her. My student teaching experience was a blast!

I was very successful with my student. I was even asked to speak at the graduation banquet for the Secondary Ed. department. When I got to the real teaching job, however, suddenly I couldn't seem to do anything right. None of the techniques which I had learned worked in this new school.

Anyway, thanks, Heidi. Now, I'm off to do lesson plans!

[teach1st]

35. Telling the truth is not opening a can of worms

..and it's worth it.

[KG]

13. geez, if you're that bad, you have 'administrator' potential!!

why rant about the incomptents you work for? become one! :)

[iconoclastic cat]

16. Ha! Yes, that's my point of view.

I'm reminded of the movie, "Office Space."

[Gyre]

17. Sounds like you need to find another line of work.

You're being told something when your first year is that bad.

Gyre

[iconoclastic cat]

28. A lot of people are saying that everbody's first year teaching is hellish.

Perhaps they are correct.

[two gun sid]

23. If you really are an idiot get out of education and get into....

the world of business. You should be able to excel in upper management at a Fortune 500 company. Or, have you considered running for public office?

[iconoclastic cat]

27. Yes! IconCat for alderman! Hey, I saw "Head of State" -- I can do it!

[voltairine]

24. Get some perspective this summer!

New teachers don't teach jack the first year or two, so don't worry about it. I taught for 13 years and didn't really have a handle on it until year 3. Could be the school, and lack of support -- usually they just show new teachers to their rooms and say, "Okay, teach". There are better schools out there. Was there ANYTHING you loved or found rewarding?

Try not to resent the necessity of earning a living -- all societies require work of some sort, and once you get your chops and a thicker skin, teaching can be a wonderful career.

[iconoclastic cat]

26. Your first post, and you're brimming with wisdom!

Thanks. Please realize that my resentment was merely hyperbole.

I should say that there has been a lot that has been rewarding, and the vast majority of my students at least tolerate me.

The adults are a different story.

[miss_kitty]

32. be a gardener

become the school groundskeeper. you get the winter months off as a landscaper...

:hi:

[iconoclastic cat]

34. Love it!

[stopbush]

36. You're not the person who gets to judge if you have

performed horribly. That's up to the administration and your students. You have most likely reached and imparted wisdom to students in spite of yourself. I had teachers who were better at teaching than others in my school, but some of those with lesser skills had personal attributes that impressed me more than and made a bigger difference in my life than the virtuoso teachers.

The first year on the job is rough. You come out of academia sure of yourself and ready to show the world how it's really done. Then, reality sets in. It's like learning to drive a car in one of those driver's ed trailers. The real highway is much different.

At the end of the day, you should be taking away what you learned this first year. Even if you feel you're the lousiest teacher out there, you can face it as a defeat or a challenge to improve yourself. It might help to set aside thoughts like "MA+15 for nothing." Look at your education as the groundwork that has prepared you to learn the hands-on art of teaching, rather than as the ends to the means.

The first step in learning is self-awareness. It seems to me that you're off to a good start.

[iconoclastic cat]

37. You're right about my self-flagellation. It doesn't help.

I really don't want to face it as a defeat, either.

Thanks for the advice!

[crispini]

38. Here's a second to everyone that says that the first year of teaching

is horrible. After you have taught for a couple of years you develop the Teacher Superpowers. These include the patented "Eyes in the Back of Your Head" as well as the "Instant BS Detector" and the "You Didn't Understand A Word Out of My Mouth, Did You Kid? O-Meter."

Seriously, classroom discipline is a bitch, and the only way to figure it out is to teach. And I was kidding, but it really does sort of feel like superpowers -- they start getting ready to mouth off and you subliminally detect it and sort of inflate yourself up like a puffer fish and send them the Glare of Imminent Death and they start calming down. That shit's weird, I don't know how I learned it but I most certainly did. And it comes in useful for the rest of your life, too. I don't teach any more, but I'm hell on wheels in a corporate meeting.