I was born not addicted

[NaMeaHou]

I entered this world with eyes looking to those I trusted, and hoped for the best.

I walked and talked and learned about life as I knew it, and had no concept of the possible lies.

I became addicted.
I became not addicted.
I became addicted again.
I swore to my mother and father and children that it would never happen again.
It happened again.
I love my family.
I love my children.

I am clean.

Do they believe me?
Have I deceived them once again?

I am

A caring person with love for those
who

who

[xJlM]

1. I was born predisposed towards addiction

I can remember addict behavior from my early childhood. And as soon as I was old enough, I took the ball and ran with it.

Addiction is a disease of relapse. It is progressive, incurable and fatal. There is a program, however, which is making a change in the lives of thousands upon thousands of addicts all over the world. It is freely available to us all. It is the simple spiritual, not religious, program known as Narcotics Anonymous. Check out http://www.na.org/ or look up NA in the business section of the White Pages of your local telephone book (in most cities in the US).

[NaMeaHou]

2. The NA group here meets one time each week

it's a joke. There has to be other outside reasons not to fall back.

[xJlM]

4. NA worked for me

But then, I had hit some pretty low points in my life before I ever thought about finding out what my problem was.

Start your own meeting. It's not that hard, and your local Area Service Committee should be more than willing to help support it. I had to drive quite a ways in my first year in order to get to a wide variety of meetings. Thirty miles one way, and I tried to get to a meeting every day. Get a sponsor. Having someone you can ask for help always makes things easier. What's that saying, a load shared is a load lessened?

Although a spouse and family are good reasons for not wanting an addict's life, the best reason is you yourself. You are a decent human being and a child of your creator, and you deserve all the good things recovery has for you.

It can be done. I am living proof. I was pretty far down the ladder, probably far enough that most people thought I was a lost cause. Through belief in nothing more than the spirit in the groups as my higher power, I began a recovery program that hopefully will bring me to fourteen years this December. You can do it too.

If you want, you can email me at [e-mail] , and we could talk a little more.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

3. Amen, I hate that look in their eyes

When they wonder if daddy is lying again.

It sucks.


Especially since I am not anymore.

[populistmom]

5. It's very hard

Living with a person with these issues. Repeated broken trusts. All you can do is keep taking care of yourself for yourself.

[Wonk]

6. What's your poison?

[NaMeaHou]

7. Not heroin, thank the gods

I've had some conversations with cocaine, and it was not a friendly conversation very quickly.

Hello! I said. Gosh, you seem to give such a friendly happy, though short high!

Cocaine: Yep. Get used to it. Less friendly, less happy and more short. That's me if you want to know me!

Me: No thanks, I would like to tell the world that you are a devious, lying piece of shit. Is that okay?

Cocaine: Yep. That's me! It doesn't matter what you say though, many will continue to be used by me.
I'm a bastard. They don't know it yet.