Okay DU ladies, (and men if you wanna weigh in) tell me what you think

[belladonna]

My soon to be hubby and I have been talking about wedding bands and we've looked around a bit. He is absolutely STUCK on this titanium wedding band idea of his. Now, it's not that I don't like the sentiment behind the idea.... he say's titanium is indestructible, just the way our marriage will be... yeah yeah, romantic enough for me.

Thing is, everywhere we have been to look at them, including the store where we got the engagement ring, he's brought this up. The women we've run across there have been absolutely HORRIFIED at the idea and the men just sorta shrug and say it makes perfect sense to them. My only real problem with it is that, thus far, I haven't seen any that weren't absolutely huge and wouldn't dwarf my size 4 1/2 finger.

So tell me, even though I'm too damn lazy to post a poll... is it really that horrifying or are these women overreacting?

[JI7]

1. sounds like overreacting to me

never been engaged myself yet. but i know of others who do non traditional things.

it might seem a bit odd or strange at first. but if they are horrified then i consider that overreating.

[belladonna]

5. I was rather surprised by some of the reactions we got

One actually said she'd never marry her husband if he'd tried to give her a titanium ring... sheesh :wtf:

[jdj]

21. is titanitum cheaper than gold?

it may just be a commission thing.

[belladonna]

22. Looking just at what they had on display

It didn't seem it was THAT much cheaper, nope.

[1monster]

2. Tell him you think sterling silver is more romantic...

It's soft and mallable as any marriage should be and it gives off a lusterous glow that gives an unequivical articulation of satisfaction... :)

And tell him that all matter is indestructable. Matter cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change its form as you will be doing by changing from an unmarried couple to a married couple.

[belladonna]

6. It's looking like we may go that way

My engagement ring is white gold though, so we could end up going with that too.

[tjwmason]

25. I'm not sure that titanium next to white gold would work

My sister has white gold for both engagement and wedding. I'm guessing that titanium is harder than gold and therefore could easily affect your engagement ring over time.

I think that my brother-in-law's wedding ring is titanium - it is brushed metal and more chunky, definitely a more masculine thing.

I'd certainly try and match engagement and wedding rings though.

[bridgit]

3. titanium is cool stuff...

maybe need a creative, nordic jeweler. they seem to have a sense of 'the simple line' when it comes to design work. but i think i hear that joni mitchell line in the background,

"you said our love was a constant as the northern star. yeah, constantly in the dark. if you want me i'll be in the bar."

[belladonna]

7. True, if we had them custom made it could work

I'll have to mention that to him when he gets home :hi:

[Goathead]

4. I like this wedding band.

[youthere]

8. SOOO overreacting.

Get what you want and to hell with anyone who doesn't like it.

[Evergreen Emerald]

9. That is what I was going to say...

...you get what you want.

[belladonna]

10. Oh, we'll end up doing what we want regardless of what THEY think

I was just sort of shocked by how strongly these women reacted to it. He sort of enjoyed fucking with em tho :D

[youthere]

76. Hehe really mess with them and ask if they have anything

made of aluminum.

[legally blonde]

11. you should get what you want

This is a personal decision. It's your wedding ring and you should like it. If you like titanium, then get it. I think these women are overreacting.
I've never seen any wedding rings for women made out of titanium, only men's wedding rings and they tend to be very masculine looking. Maybe you should consider getting white gold instead--as you said in an earlier post, it does match your engagement ring. And your wedding ring doesn't have to match his.

[belladonna]

12. That's the way I'm leaning at the moment

Unless we find a way to get one custom made that'll look right with the engagement ring, I don't see a way around it.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

14. Titanium, like platinum,

take on a dull patina and never can be polished. If your engagement ring is white gold, I'd say go with white gold.

Get what you love, and women who aren't engaged are always going to flip out when the subject comes up, so screw 'em.

Just for fun, here's a picture of my wedding ring (my husband designed them for us):

[belladonna]

16. Ohh, I love that

Tell your hubby he did a great job :hi:

[OldLeftieLawyer]

18. I sure will

And, if you're in Northern Virginia, I urge you to check out Direct Jewelry Outlet in Falls Church, at the corner of Broad and Washington - phone number 703-5DIAMOND. They are my favorite jewelers, as well as friends, and they sell the best jewelry at (by far) the best prices.

They'll also work with you to custom design anything you want. They've done some remarkabe stuff for me.

Tell Alain and Didier (the owners) that the woman who hates Zohar sent you. They'll know who I am.

And, congratulations! This should be the biggest problem you ever encounter ......................

[tigereye]

53. that is stunning!

I love unique wedding bands. We have silver ones that we had made.

[bettyellen]

13. they're over reacting, and rude.

it's sweet it really means something to your husband. indulge him if you don't care and screw those biddies. these same girls will get really annoying about all your plans. don't rely on them to help you make decisions, they're just going to screw with your head if you don't copy what they did.
oh, and congratulations!

[uppityperson]

15. They are over reacting and their opinion matters not.

Get what makes you guys happy. The woman my husband almost married told him she didn't want him to use his grandmother's diamond because it had a scratch on it. They didn't get married because of this and other such attitudes. Me? I thought it was very sweet and sentimental and who cares about a little scratch anyway. He had it set into a plain white gold ring, which I accepted even though I really like gold gold. We got the wedding ring part in gold gold and everyone is happy and I have a great ring that has been passed down over and over. And who cares about a scratch or what metal it is made out of except those involved. Hell, get a pvc one. They are indestructible too. Congratulations.

[belladonna]

17. I've known plenty of women like his ex

We're just NOT traditional in any way and never will be. We'd both given up on relationships when we met and we just feel incredibly lucky to have what we have, so screw getting hung up on what other people think.

When I tell my friends how he proposed to me and how romantic I thought it was, they don't seem to get it (he stopped me in the middle of drying my hair and getting ready for work and just popped the question out of the blue :loveya:), but I thought it was incredibly romantic and sweet.

We'll figure it all out eventually. I was just blown away by the vehemence of these women's reactions is all :wtf:

[OldLeftieLawyer]

19. Never, never, never

underestimate the vehemence of a woman who doesn't have a ring on her finger - and who wants one..............

:woohoo:

[belladonna]

20. Well sure, but a couple of the women at the jewelry stores were married

So what's up with them? :shrug:

[OldLeftieLawyer]

23. You're the bride

They're not.

They've had their moment in the spotlight - yours is coming.

It's a variation on how some old people are really mean to kids. Know what I mean?

[NMMNG]

24. What's so horrfying about titanium?

The women are overreacting really.

[belladonna]

26. That's what I don't get

To be fair, what they have out there for titanium rings does seem to be geared more towards men, but the reactions I got were just off the charts. A few of them just acted like he was a horrible human being for even considering it, and then we had the one who said she would NEVER marry a man who wanted to give her titanium and, in fact, would divorce her husband NOW if he wanted to do something like that.

[northzax]

50. does it really matter?

I mean seriously, it's a token, if it matters to anyone to that extent, they've got some screwed up priorities.

[tigereye]

56. yeah cuz it's all about the ring, right

:silly:


I never really thought rings were that important. I didn't have an engagement ring, but then I'm not really a diamonds and gold person. I told my husband that I wish I had had a star sapphire of some sort for engagement had we not been so low on funds at the time. I really like those. I think people should get what they like. I can't imagine dropping someone because of the ring.

[Mutley]

27. get whatever you want

who cares what the women at the store OR your soon to be hubby think? who's finger will the ring be on again?

[belladonna]

29. Well, I DO care what he thinks

I mean, his reason for doing it is somewhat romantic and I see where he's coming from with it. I'll be more than happy to do it if he wants to go custom made and get a ring that will actually fit my tiny finger. Everything I've seen so far has been HUGE, so we'd almost have to go the custom made route if we choose titanium.

[Mutley]

34. yeah... go custom made if you can afford it.

at the very least who cares what those jewelry store clerks think?

[Misunderestimator]

28. I love the idea... and I love Titanium. They are overreacting.

It's a very romantic thing to do, and you can have a ring made if you can't find one that fits you well.

[progmom]

30. People get so hung up on traditions

My "engagement ring" was a bent horseshoe nail that my husband had been wearing for years - it had been given to him by someone he really respected. It meant a lot to him, so it meant a lot to me when he gave it to me.
But you should have seen people's faces when, after hearing that I was engaged, they looked down to check out my ring finger. ;)

You shouldn't worry. Go with what works for you and your man. That's really all that matters.

[belladonna]

32. I'm not all that worried

Hell, all I care about is just BEING with him. We don't even have to get married and I'll be a happy girl as long as I wake up beside of him every morning. I was just a little thrown by all these outraged women when the subject of titanium came up :wtf:

[tigereye]

57. that is very cool pmom

[progmom]

62. thanks

:hi:

[kitkatrose]

31. That's odd.

Why would they be horrified at a titanium ring? Maybe it's not shiny or flashy enough for them. Some people look askew when your engagement ring isn't diamond, so maybe it's a variation on that. :shrug: Do what makes you feel good--personally, I'd take silver or platinum (don't like gold) and have some little design in it. I rather think the sentiment behind the titanium ring is cute though. :loveya: You'll be a beautiful bride in any case. :)

[belladonna]

33. I think it's the flashy thing

Tradition says get gold, and a huge diamond or he doesn't really love you. What a crock :eyes:

Btw, how's school and life in general going? I've missed you, hot stuff :hi:

[kitkatrose]

36. Meh...

Organic chemistry can officially kiss my ass. Otherwise school is fine. Let's see. Remember my math tutor? Yeah, he's sorta in the picture again. Right when I was gonna go to Costa Rica and have a fling with some hot Latino. :) May still have it anyway, but I'm not sure. :shrug: Ah well, I have all summer to decide.

I've missed you too, bella. :hi: I know you're probably busy with the wedding stuff. I'm all atwitter for ya. :) Are you still working nights? And remember my milkshake is better than yours. :P

[belladonna]

38. Ah, the math tutor

Maybe you should take him to Costa Rica and you BOTH should find some Latino hottie to have a fling with :evilgrin: Or hey, sounds like you might need a tutor for the organic chemistry... if ya know what I mean, and I think you do :D

We're going really simple on the wedding stuff, so there's not a whole lot to do right now. Mostly I'm busy working, and when I'm not and he's actually HOME, I'm spending all my free time gazing into his eyes and all that mushy stuff :loveya:

Oh, and btw, we need to have a milkshake contest one of these days... gonna come to the DU meetup in June? Hmmmm???

[kitkatrose]

42. I'll be in Costa Rica then.

If there's another one around the time school starts, or Labor Day, then I could come out to that one. I wish I could make that one. :(

Maybe you should take him to Costa Rica and you BOTH should find some Latino hottie to have a fling with :evilgrin:

Heh heh heh. Actually, he was talking about coming down for a bit in the summer, so who knows, that might be a possibility. O8)

Or hey, sounds like you might need a tutor for the organic chemistry... if ya know what I mean, and I think you do :D

No, I have no idea. Maybe you could explain it to me in detail. :evilgrin:


Maybe I could attend the wedding or something, if ya'll are having guests and stuff. Or you could just elope and spend the wedding money on a fabulous honeymoon on a tropical island.

[belladonna]

44. We're going back and forth on that now

As to what kind of wedding to have... the one and only thing I know for sure is that it's NOT going to be big or flashy. We actually talked about eloping.. he's got this elaborate plan to do the deed, drive to Canada and fly to Cuba for our honeymoon :crazy: I kinda like the idea of THAT, but we'll see how it all shakes out :shrug:

If we end up doing anything close to traditional and we're doing a guest list, you're definitely on it :loveya:

Btw, did you see the pic thread that I posted the other night? He's ALMOST forgiven me for that one :evilgrin:

[kitkatrose]

45. No...

I missed it. :cry: I always miss the good stuff.

Edit: :woohoo: Search is your friend. He's so cute. :loveya: I'm so happy for ya.

[belladonna]

47. Lemme see if I can find it

It also has pics of my adorable grandson, so you can see him too :P

[belladonna]

49. Here ya go

He's still pouting over the fact that I posted that second pic, but hey, I like it and that's all that matters :D

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3121325

[belladonna]

70. Thanks, sweetie

He's definitely a keeper in the looks department, but if you ever get to meet him, you'll know the real reason why I fell head over heels for the guy :P

[tanyev]

35. One guess who started the whole "ring should equal

three months salary" BS--the diamond industry. Now it's generally accepted as the rule by the same sheeple who swallow the Bush propaganda efforts 100%. Do whatever you want to do. I have a pearl engagagment ring w/a gold band attached. But since pearl is a little more delicate, we also got a more robust band for me that matches my husband's. I wear that for everyday, and the pearl for nicer occasions.

I hate to make everything political, but I would be really curious who your horrified women voted for. Did they look like Republican Stepford wives? Or wanna-be RSWs? Sounds like they value form and appearance over sincerity and content.

[belladonna]

37. The one who said she'd divorce her hubby over titanium

Now SHE was a Bushbot, no doubt in my mind about it. Most of them were just really catty about it and if I were a betting woman, I'd say they vote Repug.

[tanyev]

41. I wonder if her hubby knows she'd divorce him

over a titanium ring. She sounds like a real prize.

[belladonna]

43. Yeah, I wonder the same thing

Judging by her demeanor, I'd say yes.

[Catchawave]

39. Sweet sentiment from your soulmate :)

My white gold setting's been pretty indestructable for 36 years, so far :)

[MrScorpio]

40. I'm a traditionalist - I like gold

But on the other hand, I'm puzzled by these ladies' reactions.

All in all, if you're happy with the rings, so be it.

They can take a nice long walk off a short pier.

[belladonna]

46. Yeah well, you've met the guy

I think you can figure out that he just HAD to fuck with them all a little once he figured out how much they hated the idea :D

Maybe that had a little to do with it, who knows? :shrug:

[MrScorpio]

54. There you go

I wouldn't gauge your decision based on their reactions

[redqueen]

48. I never got the drama about jewelry.

To me, if you both like it, then it's great!

I'd keep looking if you haven't found a size you like, but ignore the women - IMO yes, they are definitely overreacting.

[sundog]

52. I don't get jewelry at all

really... I don't get it

diamonds & gold are just like... meh, whatever

[belladonna]

55. I'm sorta like that myself

Maybe that's why I don't get these women's reactions? :shrug:

[sundog]

61. if I ever end up with a partner

I probably won't get anything... the bond is in your heart

on second thought, you should get the titanium just to rebel... piss off the stepford types :P

he obviously loves you... I think it's great :pals:

[redqueen]

64. I'm the same way...

I don't get it... never have.

Glad to hear you're encouraging her to piss of the stepford types. I heart you sundog. :evilgrin:

[belladonna]

68. Hey, you know me

When he first started talking about engagement rings and marriage, I suggested, quite seriously, that I'd be happy with a ring out of a damn bubble gum machine... as long as it comes from him and he's giving it to me for the right reasons.

Shit, he doesn't even have to marry me. All I need to be happy is to be with him :loveya:

[brainshrub]

51. I have this indestructible ring I'm trying to sell:

I'll even throw in the chain for free! Trust me, the thing is indestructible. I tried to melt it down for the gold, but the thing doesn't even get warm. I personally don't care for it b/c the weird lettering on the sides keep disappearing when I show it to others.

I won it in a poker game last week against a short guy with fuzzy feet.

Make me an offer.

[tigereye]

60. hey Brainshrub

you can actually buy replicas. I'll just bet some folks would use them for wedding rings and damn the implications.

[brainshrub]

73. You mean that this might not be the real One True Ring?

The One ring the RULE THEM ALL!!!!????

Seriously, I wouldn't give my partner a LOTR ring. It sends the message: "Despite myself, I must find a way to throw you into a pit of lava."

[tigereye]

75. hah!

no dear, I suspect Peter Jackson kept it for himself... or it is buried with Tolkein.

"Despite myself, I must find a way to throw you into a pit of lava."
That would make for an interesting wedding theme. Ain't love grand?

[leftofthedial]

58. get ones with space-age welded rivets

and encrusted with space shuttle tiles

who cares what the woment think? The main thing is finding a ring you like.

[belladonna]

59. Well again, as I said before

I don't give a flying fuck that they think in THAT way, as in it'll affect the decision we end up making. I was just surprised at the vehemence is all :shrug:

[Taverner]

63. You're getting hitched?

And you didn't tell me????

For Shame, Bella.....

[belladonna]

66. Well hey, I've been posting about it for a week

Keep up, hot stuff :D

[Taverner]

67. But you know i disappear every so often

Im hurt :(

[belladonna]

69. Awww, I'm sorry

You know I'd never do anything to hurt you... not in THAT way anyway :evilgrin:

What can you do though? Sometimes these things sneak up and take you by surprise. Never thought in a million years I'd be getting married and all up in the mushy love stuff again, but here I am :loveya:

[Sabriel]

65. Get a hollow Lucite one and fill it with crude oil

It'll be a conversation starter, and better yet, it'll appreciate in years to come.

[Pacifist Patriot]

71. Overreacting.

[lavenderdiva]

72. when I got married 3 years ago, my husband wanted a titanium ring

and at first, I didn't like it either. I didn't want one for myself, and got white gold. But he insisted on titanium for himself, and selected a beautiful one, and now I really, really like it on him. It has very thin gold bands running thru it. Its very masculine and looks great on him. Also very different, which I like. Get what YOU like for you though!

[Withywindle]

74. Who cares what they think?

I have my own opinion about women who put more importance on the trappings and the bling than on the marriage itself, and I'm sure they wouldn't want to hear it!