ANNOUNCEMENT: Free Republic is experiment in AS!

[ltfranklin]

The entire Free Republic site is entirely computer generated...it's an experiment in artificial stupidity, and it's working out QUITE well, thank you.

Unfortunately, we can't generate more than 15 different personality profiles right now, so although you may see many handles there, we just reuse the same 15 personality processes, and we just use different phrase generation sets by using randomly generated 400 word vocabularies (with a base jargon set of Republican keywords, of course). We're hoping that by 2010, we'll be able to get the virtual IQs up past the low 50s...maybe even into the high 80s!

I just wish we could get rid of that damned CAPITAL LETTER bug!

[hippiepunk]

1. I knew it!

The Free Republic Matrix!

[ltfranklin]

2. Sorry, we haven't been able to get it up to a matrix yet.

The best we've been able to do is a 15 element array. Unsigned Integer, by the way...16 bit, but a definate improvement over the UBYTE array we used to use.

[hippiepunk]

3. Yeah..ok

but don't be sendin no FReeper agents after me!

[ltfranklin]

4. Agents? We don't got no stinking agents!

Hell, we can't even get daemons working right on this system...some day we'll have to upgrade from the PDP-11. We're programming in Fortran, for ghods sake!

[hippiepunk]

5. Fine!

How 'bout FReeper robots with a million eyes? Got any of those?

[ltfranklin]

6. Well no, but our robotics group is doing well.

Our "Ann Coulter" model has been up and running for years! It's amazing what you can do with a PalmIV, a used Abe Lincoln animatronic unit (sans beard, of course) and a little (you'd be surprised how little) foam rubber!

[hippiepunk]

7. Can she cause mass destruction?

If she can, then don't send her after me.

[ltfranklin]

13. No, her capability for destruction is limited.

...but she can be posed in many interesting positions...and she has a Kung Fu Action Arm(tm) that works when you pinch her left nipple.

[hippiepunk]

15. GODDAMNIT!

Isn't there anything you can send to kill me, so I can tell you not to send it to kill me?

[ltfranklin]

16. Well, there's our "Michael Savage" unit

...but the last time we let that out, there was talk about a war crimes commission, and the saliva trails were KILLER to clean.

[brainshrub]

8. I love the capital letter BUG!!!

How ELSE are you going to know when a WORD is important?

[ltfranklin]

10. Actually, that's fairly simple

we just follow the word with many many exclamation!!! points!!!!

[sasquatch]

9. How did you get it to talk in tounges?

:shrug:

[ltfranklin]

11. tounges?

Oh, you're talking about the serial transmission glitchs...sorry, we can't afford new equipment, and these old zoom 9600 modems have their troubles some days.

[evlbstrd]

12. IQ in the 50's? How are you going to make it smarter than you are?

Doesn't seem possible.

[ltfranklin]

14. Well, it won't be easy....

...but our "Rush Limbaugh" unit is approaching the point where it might actually be able to carry on a complete phone conversation with an intelligent listener without hanging up and insulting them (in that order).

[sakabatou]

17. Ah... it makes sense now...

But if that's the case, is this site, as well as the forums, computer generated as well?

[ltfranklin]

20. Well, if we are...

...then it doesn't really matter what I answer, does it?

Wait a minute...did you say the RED pill sends you back to the Matrix, or the BLUE pill...oh, shit!

[ComerPerro]

18. The Clintons conspired to fake the moon landing by giving money to Castro

But the socialist America-hater cowards over at Dumb Underground just don't realize that you can't mess with the US.

[alittlelark]

19. By 2010 that site will be recognized for the hate/fear mongering

miserable propaganda turd that it is.