Name your 5 favorite all-time Saturday Night Live skits

[LynneSin]

It's so hard to pick just one, so name your 5 favorite all time SNL skits.

For me it would have to be (and these aren't in order)

1. Behind the Music with Blue Oyster Cult (more cowbell)
   
2. Happy Fun Ball
   
3. My Name is Matt Foley and I am a motivational speaker - the original where he talks to the 2 kids whose parents found rolling papers in their room
   
4. Dan Akroyd as Julia Childs (He starts gushing blood from severing a finger and the blood is just gushing everywhere)
   
5. A Tie: Colonel Angus and The Barry Gibb Talk show
   

If I put more thought into it I could definately come up with more!

[KitchenWitch]

1. Mine all include Gilda Radner

I especially loved Emily Litella.

[LynneSin]

2. I barely remember some of the old SNL stuff

But I remembered crying my eyes out from laughing so hard with the Julia Childs skit. That had to be one of the best ones ever!

[Serial Mom]

62. and Rosanne Rosanadana

[peekaloo]

3. Last Voyage of the Starship Enterprise

Uncle Roy's first babysitting sketch (love Buck Henry)
The Nerds High School Prom (another w/Buck Henry)
Let's Kill Gary Gilmore for Christmas (song parody w/cast)
Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute

all old school sketches

damn Phil Hartman as Clinton at McDonalds should be included, too. :D

[indigo32]

106. I miss Phil Hartman

:cry:

[Orsino]

4. Dueling Brandos

Akroyd as Julia "Save The Liver" Child

Hmmm. Can't come up with any others now.

[Enraged_Ape]

5. 1. Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute

2. Consumer Probe: Dangerous Toys (Bag O'Glass, Johnny Switchblade...)
3. Theodoric of York: Medieval Barber
4. Behind the Music: Blue Oyster Cult
5. NPR talks with Pete Schwette about his Schwette Balls

[LynneSin]

6. I forgot about the Schwette Balls

Alec Baldwin looked like he was going to lose it in that skit

[Enraged_Ape]

8. I can't believe he kept it together

I couldn't have made it 30 seconds into that skit without falling on the floor laughing.

[Mizmoon]

7. OH NO MR. BILL!!!

"Jane, you ignorant slut."

Samurai delicatessen/the "cheeseburger cheeseburger cheeseburger" diner

Anything with with Chevy Chase bumbling about as President Ford

The one short film where the guy jogs under a bridge and it turns out to be a roach motel and he can't get out

Bonus - Dana Carvey as Bush Sr. - "Not gonna do it - wouldn't be prudent, not at this juncture."

[LynneSin]

9. Misunderestimator does the best impersonation of Dana Carvey...

duing George Bush.

It's dead on accurate!

[DelawareValleyDem]

10. That's tough

Off the top of my head, I'd say the male synchronized swimming film they did with Harry Shearer and Martin Short, the Carter-Ford debate, the Superfans where Michael Jordan shows up, just about any Celebrity Jeopardy skit, and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

[LynneSin]

11. Who did Sean Connery for Celebrity Jeopardy - that was funny as hell

:D

[DelawareValleyDem]

12. Darrell Hammond

Suck it, Trebek!

[Felix Mala]

77. "Ohhhh, I'll play your game, you rogue! Let's try "The Rapists" for $200

Alex Trebek: That's "Therapists." That's "Therapists," not "The Rapists."

[RayOfHope]

13. Christopher Walken in "The Continental"

The Cowbell Skit, of course

Chris Farley as Norman Shwartzkopf (sp) during weekend update "The War on the Shore"

The completely gross one in which Will Farrell is a homeless man doing nude modeling.

[MrBenchley]

29. The Continental slayed me...

Christopher Walken was hilarious in that....especially when his mustache started falling off...

[pdx_prog]

55. The continental

was an old Red Skelton skit, but Walken's was much better...:)

[MrBenchley]

57. Actually, it was a REAL TV show in the 1950s...

that Red Skelton parodied.

http://www.cfhf.net/lyrics/continental.htm

I miss Skelton...he was an authentic comic genius.

[pdx_prog]

80. Couldn't have been as funny

as Skelton's....lol. He could just walk on camera and people would start to laugh....I always wanted to have him as a father...lol

[Coventina]

96. I'm fond of Christopher Walken's "Trivial Psychic"

The parody of "The Dead Zone".

:rofl:

[Zomby Woof]

14. In no order...

1. "All Things Scottish" - with Mike Myers and Kyle McLachlan, 1990.
2. "The McLaughlin Group" - with Dana Carvey, John Goodman, others, circa 1991.
3. "The Sinatra Group" - with Phil Hartman, Sting, Chris Rock, Jan Hooks, and Mike Myers, circa 1992.
4. "The Anal Retentive Chef" - with Phil Hartman, circa 1990.
5. "The Census Taker" - with Christopher Walken and Tim Meadows, 2000.


Honorable Mention: "The Pharmacy" with John Goodman and Cheri Oteri, circa late 90's. The Willy Wonka skit with Al Gore, 2002. The Samurai skits with John Belushi in the late 70's, "Sprockets" with Mike Myers in the late 80's/early 90's, "Church Chat" with Dana Carvey, late 80's/early 90's. "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" with Phil Hartman, 90's.

[LynneSin]

16. The best Al Gore one was where he did Trent Lott on Hardball

"I will leave no white child behind"

I about pissed my pants from laughing so hard from that line!

[Zomby Woof]

21. Yeah, that was great

But he stole my heart when he said "We're Oompa-Loompa Doopity screwed!" It was just one of the most surreal things to see Gore say that.

But the Lott skit proves he has comedic talent no one ever gave him enough credit for publically. :D

[Lisa]

93. and that combover hairdo they put on him!

That was one of the strongest overall episodes of the past 5 years. He and his daughter Kristin wrote some of the material, but who would have guessed he had such good comic timing?

It's possible to get that episode on DVD -- it was selected as the one sent out to Emmy voters, and copies turn up occasionally on eBay.

[ComerPerro]

83. From the Kyle McLachlan episode, Sprockets,

where he played the host of a show, "Germany's Most Distrubing Home Videos".


"Here we have video of a man distributing leaflets. Here comes another man.

He has kneed him in the genitals. The pain has caused him to vomit."


"His agony was beautiful"

[Zomby Woof]

90. Yep

I had that one in mind. :-)

The K.D. Lang skit was funny as hell too.

[Dastard Stepchild]

98. I briefly had a Gene avatar...

I loved the Anal Retentive chef. :)

[Lethe]

137. scottish....reminds of the skit with Patrick Stewart as the psychologist

lol, every solution is to get "piss drunk" with his clients

[Terran]

15. Mine

It's too hard to pin down specific skits so I'm going with repeated characters on the show:

1. Anything involving the Sweeney Sisters: those two groovy lounge lizardettes played by Nora Dunn and Jan Hooks (both comic geniuses if ya ask me).

2. The "sassy" skits with Phil Hartman. Possibly the funniest man ever on SNL, and a huge loss to comedy when he was killed.

3. The "nerds" skits with Gilda Radner and Bill Murray. Hilarious.

4. Belushi's samurai skits. The man could be screamingly funny without speaking a word of English.

5. Mike Meyers "Sprockets" skits. "I am as happy as a little guurrl."

[ComerPerro]

84. I posted one favorite sprockets above, and thought of another

The one with Jason Preistly, where Dieter was hosting a "Dating-Game" show, and Jason Preistly was the contestant.

I'll never forget Phil Hartman, in the blonde wig and lipstick. In his normal speaking voice: "My name is Susan."

LMAO just thinking about it.

[Terran]

102. LOL, yep, I remember that one!

I think my other favorite Sprockets is where Dieter invited a renowned East German film maker on to the show. Instead of the incrutable person he was expecting, the guy had become a clown entranced with recently available Western junk (like one of those hats you attach beer cans to and drink from twin straws). He wasn't interested in avant garge film anymore, just having a good time.

'Course, any edition that inluded "Touch my monkey! Touch him!!" was worth it.

[underpants]

17. Male synchronized swimmers, Schweaty Balls, Happy Fun ball, Car train

and........................oh I don't know.............

[underpants]

19. Oh -anything with Phil Hartman especially Susie the she male

"and he woke with a size 7 up his poop chute"

[LynneSin]

20. I loved the Caveman Lawyer

"Your ways frighten me"

[Shell Beau]

18. Tough one!

I like the Church Lady skits, The Schwette Balls (Alec Baldwin), Mike Foley the motivational speaker, Eddie Murphy in Mr. Robinson's neighborhood, Dana Carvey as George Bush Sr.!

[Shell Beau]

42. I forgot to add the one with Mom jeans!

Everywhere I go I see someone wearing "mom jeans" and I LMAO!!

[ceile]

108. How about "Oops, I crapped my pants!"-Depends

I love their commercial parodies.

[charlie and algernon]

22. 1. the 2000 Bush/Gore debate "Strategery"

2. Blue Oyster Cult behind the music
3. "buck futter" celebrity Jeopardy
4. Matt Foley, the original skit
5. Robin Williams Celebrity Jeopardy

[El Fuego]

23. There's so many

1. The Coneheads
2. Gilda Radner and Bill Murray as Lisa Lupner & Todd
3. Ed Grimley
4. Tie: Toonces the Cat Who Could Drive a Car/JAWS with a candygram
5. Everything with Steve Martin

[noonwitch]

24. Lisa Loobner/the Norge epsidode

Dan Ackroyd was the Norge repairman, who's ass crack was revealved in front of Lisa Loobner (Gilda) and her spas friend (Bill Murray).

All of the samuri sketches.

Chevy Chase and Richard Prior calling each other racist names.

The Julia Childs thing.

Mr Robinson's neighborhood/X-mas episode.

[driver8]

122. I remember watching the "Norge" skit. I almost pissed my pants

I was laughing so hard!

[trogdor]

25. Gotta go old school.

5. "Cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger cheeseborger..."
4. Killer Bees.
3. "Jane, you ignorant slut..."
1. Coneheads. (tie)
1. Land Shark. (tie)

[xmas74]

46. I'll side w/ you on this one.

Damn, those were the funniest ones ever.

I can still hear "Candygram" in my head.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

26. Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor

Chase interviewing Pryor for a job.

"DEAD honkie."

[driver8]

123. Exactly!! My all time favorite skit.

[MrBenchley]

27. "Iran-Contra Reagan" would be first for me

Phil Hartman revealing that the doddering old fool was just a facade, and barking out the contradictory and incompetent details of Iran/Contra to underlings as if it's a brilliant plan they're too stupid to understand.

Dennis Quaid as "Wildfire Calhoun," the craziest pilot in the Air Force--Look out, he's putting tin foil in the microwave!! Yeehaw!!

Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute!

As World Turn--Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein encounter Frankenstein's evil twin, as played by Mel Gibson channeling David Niven.

The Coneheads on Family Feud...besides the always wonderful Coneheads, Belushi and Steve Martin are hilarious as the other family.

And the sixth of my five favorite skits would have to be the hilarious and tragic Scotch Tape Store at the failing mall, run by Fred Willard and Gilda Radner.

[LynneSin]

28. Mel Gibson had a great one with "Mel Gibson, Gynecologist"

and all the women were lining up to have him as their doctor.

But that was back when Mel Gibson was a hunky actor and not annoying person he is today

[MrBenchley]

31. Jon Lovitz as his partner: "Uh, I'm available. No waiting."

So many really good ones...Any time Jon Lovitz did Master Thespian I was in stitches. The one where Lovitz and John Lithgow are trading Shakespearean acting tips...the one with Carl Weathers as the quick change artist...the one with Meryl Streep where she keeps belting Lovitz across the chops...the one with Robin Williams as director where Master Thespian can't remember the line "And so, I'm off!"

[ceile]

109. Lovitz-"I just want to be loved" n/t

[DelawareValleyDem]

34. The Scotch Boutique skit is a lost classic. nt

[MrBenchley]

38. It danced right on the edge of being tragic...

[ComerPerro]

85. That Reagan sketch was great, and I forgot about "As World Turn"

[Dukkha]

30. 1. William Shatner at the Star Trek Convention

telling trekkies to Get A Life!
2. Ed Grimley
3. Massive Headwound Harry
4. Hans & Frans
5. Toonces the Driving Cat

[gmoney]

49. My dad had a cat...

an orange persian mix whose hair would get SO long and gnarly that they would get him "shaved" every spring... for a week or so after the shave, his fur was like velveteen and it had these little "tracks" in it from the clippers like vacuum marks on carpeting, but the whole effect made him look almost like a puppet, a lot like Toonces. (oops, should that have a spoiler alert?)

[trogdor]

67. My fave Hans and Franz

The one where Arnie is on, and he starts berating them.

[Arugula Latte]

32. Hmmm...

Lisa Lubner and Todd (Gilda and Bill Murray)
The Judy Miller Show (Gilda)
Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute (Dan Askroyd)
Motivational Speaker "Well la-de-frickin-daaa!" (Chris Farley)
Belushi doing Cocker with Cocker next to him (not really a skit)

[myrna minx]

33. "Mike Wallace" investigates defective novelty

merchandise. Starring as Mike Wallace.....Harry Shearer
Herb Minkman.....Christopher Guest
Al Minkman.....Billy Crystal
Nathan Thurm.....Martin Short

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/84/84f60minutes.phtml

and Happy Fun Ball.

[DanCa]

35. Land Shark

cmon on candy gram.

[LaraMN]

36. I just loved when they'd run the commercial special.

Colon Blow, Bass-o-matic, Big Red, that one with the slurry-in-a-ketchup-bottle, the extra-finger-remover stuff...all good ones.

[gmoney]

51. The First National Change Bank series was great, too...

I loved the series of spots they ran before every break, with the various "triumphs" of the bank that only gave change... "If you have an old bill, we can give you a new crisp one, perfect for birthday cards"

The fake commercials are almost ALWAYS the best part of the show...

The Sandler/Farley "Gay Beer" commercial...

Bad Idea Jeans "...I couldn't find a condom, but I figured what the hell? When am I going to be in Haiti again?"

The Calvin Kleen "Obsession" ad with Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman...

Of course, Colon Blow... Big Red... Happy Fun Ball...

[LaraMN]

52. Happy fun ball!

:rofl:

[ComerPerro]

86. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball

[LaraMN]

94. OMG. There's a Happy Fun Ball dot com!

http://www.happyfunball.com/hfb.html

There's no pics on the site, though.

[CanuckAmok]

37. E. Buzz Miller Talks About Art.

Bad Idea Jeans.

The ones with the vomit sleeves, because they never work properly.

[peekaloo]

92. That reminds me of another Ackroyd classic: Leonard Pinth Garnell

Bad Ballet
Bad Theatre

:rofl:

[flvegan]

39. Farrell playing Janet Reno and Bush

"dignitude" and "strategery"

[DelawareValleyDem]

40. Jackie Rogers Jr. 100,000 Dollar Jackpot Wad

Martin Short as the title character, Jim Belushi as Captain Kangaroo, Billy Crystal as Sammy Davis Jr, and Chris Guest as Rajeev Vindaloo.

"I tell you Jacksola.. I'm just standing here kvelling, you know? I mean that, you know? I mean, to win money for these cats that you don't know, well, that's exciting!"

[gmoney]

43. "Chocolate Babies..."

Chris Guest did some great stuff on that show... the Jackpot Wad was great. I'm glad someone else remembers it.

There was a Buck Henry one where a family was driving like mad and the daughter (Gilda?) was asking why they were going so fast and Buck (the dad) explained "YOU KNOW DADDY CAN ONLY GO AT HOME" and of course it ended in a fiery wreck and Chevy Chase stepping in as a public service announcement... saw it ONCE a long, long time ago...

James Brown Celebrity Hot Tub Party

The King Tut musical sketch...

The Richard Dreyfuss "Cone Encounters" episode of the Coneheads...

On edit: anyone else remember The Scotch Tape store?

And the Al Franken Decade was pretty sweet... plus his one man mobile uplink unit.

[DelawareValleyDem]

45. See post 27 for discussion of Scotch Boutique

Mr. Benchley brought it up.

Yes, I remember the Chevy/Buck Henry/Gilda sketch.

[gmoney]

47. Confused "Scotch Boutique" with "Scottish Boutique"

I overlooked the earlier thread, thinking it was referring to the "If it ain't Scottish, it's CRAP" store, featuring Mike Myers... another good one.

And we shouldn't overlook "Master Thespian" -- ACTING!

[2bfree]

41. Lots of good ones here! I'll add..........

The "oops I crapped my pants" commercial is one of the funniest ever.

Steve Martin and Dan Akroid as two wild and crazy guys.

The game show, My French Whore with Garth Brookes.

Wayne's World with Aerosmith and the hall of shame.

The goth kids prom or the one were one of them worked at the Foot Locker.

[latebloomer]

44. many of the above, plus a few more

that haven't been mentioned--

Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze at a Chippendales' contest (Farley winning)

"Cawfee Tawk"

Franken as Stuart Smalley- "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me?" Remember when he had Al Gore look in a mirror and repeat that?

[Neshanic]

48. Toonces, Massive headwound, Homcil, Matt, and MANGO.

[Sabriel]

50. The penis sketch at the nude beach

When the censors lifted the ban on saying "penis" on TV.

Let's not forget their club anthem: "The Penis Song"

I once had a penis sing to me
His Penis Penis song
And when that Penis Penis sang
Here was the Penis's song
He'd sing me..."

(everyone)
"Penis, penis, penis, penis
Penis, penis song.
Penis, penis, penis, penis
Penis all day long.
Penis, penis, penis, penis..."

[JimmyJazz]

53. I'm so bad at naming the actors, but the one where Bush and Gore

were co-presidents was pretty funny.

And, anything with Gilda Radnor.

[Initech]

54. Needs More Cowbell!

1. Behind The Music With Blue Oyster Cult

2. Celebrity Jeopardy with Sean Connery, French Stewart, and Burt Reynolds (aka Turd Furgeson)

3. Oops I Crapped My Pants!

4. Stand Up And Win with host Jerry Seinfeld

5. Swill Mineral Water (commercial with Bill Murray)

[LynneSin]

56. As I look through the memories from this thread, I wish SNL would do this

They've done "Best of" for certain SNL regulars like Wil Ferrell, Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, etc.

How about Best of for each year of the show. The "Best of Season X" would include all the best skits of that year and some of the great musical performances of that season.

There could be some great money to be made doing something like this because I know there are certain seasons where I would want to purchase the DVDs and enjoy the laughs!

[Initech]

66. That would be great!

But that would add up rather quick. They should do skit sets like they did for the music set - 5 discs at a time and 5 year spans (eg - best of 1975 - 1980).

[LynneSin]

69. That would be just as good and makes total sense

:D

[DS1]

58. Chris Farley vs Patrick Swayze for Chippendales job

The Bank that goes after people who mugged you and kills their families

The Rosanne Barr Credit Card customer service promo piece

Bill Clinton in the McDonalds going around answering questions while eating everyone else's food

something else I haven't yet remembered

[MrBenchley]

59. The bank that only makes change...

And the investment house with the guy who whispers "We will make a list of the people who give us money..."

[CanuckAmok]

70. ha ha...that Roseanne piece was great!

"So then he call back, with like this ridiculous English accent..."

[Felix Mala]

78. "and I say to him, 'I know who ya are.' So he hangs up."

[RubyDuby in GA]

75. "intercepted by warlords"

I always loved that McDonalds skit!

[4_Legs_Good]

60. Jesse Jackson reading "Green Eggs and Ham"

And then probably most of the 1992 debate stuff with Dana Carvey playing Bush and Perot.

david

[Serial Mom]

61. My five favorite

Todd & Lisa skits - Bill Murray got Gilda laughing so hard some times you can't help laugh along with them! Akroyd as the "Norge" repairman was great

I want to feed your fingers to the Wolverines - Belushi learning English - first skit on first show ever!

Akroyd as Julia and with the Bass-o-matic

My name is Gumby, damn it! - Eddie, he had some great characters when he was on that show! - Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood, his James Brown was funny In the Hot Tub

Christopher Walken as The Continental


Can I add more?!?!?

[Sequoia]

63. Mostly the old stuff

Mrs. Lupener

Bumble Bee Guy

Samari Guy

Clinton, Bush, and Gore

Shark a Gram

[AtomicKitten]

64. #1 Christopher Walken as "The Continental"

#2 Buckwheat Singing the Hits
#2 Jane, You Ignorant Slut
#3 Spishak, It's a Floor Wax and a Desert Topping
#4 Roseanna-dana

[Deep13]

65. Awright: here goes.

1. Zell Miller boxes tsunami in ear, then shoots it.
2. Al Gore as Trent Lott.
3. Chris Farley as Mr. Airquotes.
4. Census taker visits Christopher Walken.
5. "Where Ya Headed." gameshow for New Englanders.

[pdx_prog]

68. The John Belushi

"Little Chocolate Donuts" commercial was hilarious...

[Baclava]

71. all the rest have been taken...but this one...

"All Drug Olympics"

Kevin Nealon: "Dennis, getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me that he's taken antibolic steroids, Novacaine, Nyquil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he's had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics, in fact it's encouraged. Akmudov is getting set now, he's going for a cleaning jerk of over 1500 pounds, which would triple the existing world record. That's an awful lot of weight, Dennis, and here he goes..."

(Kevin steps aside to reveal the steroid-bulked athlete bent over to lift the 1500 lbs. weight. Sergei tightens his grip on the barbells and pulls up, but instead of lifting the weights, his arms are pulled off and blood squirts out of his pulpy stubs)



Kevin Nealon: "Oh! He pulled his arms off! He's pulled his arms off, that's gotta be disappointing to the big Russian! You know, you hate to see something like this happen, Dennis! He probably doesn't have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow he's really gonna feel that, Dennis! Back to you!" (The trainer pulls out a hanky and starts dabbing at the bleeding arm sockets)

[youthere]

72. Not really a skit but I always loved Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.

[jmowreader]

73. The new stuff is pretty lame

So let's look at the old stuff...

1. Tyrone Green and his Reggae Band. You will never find this on the "Best of SNL: Eddie Murphy" compilations but it's his best one. This is where he sang "Kill the White People" to the American Legion.

2. Emily Litella.

3. Father Guido Sarducci and the "Find the Popes in the Pizza" contest.

4, Triopenin. This was a guaranteed-to-work arthritis medicine that comes in a bottle with a childproof cap.

5. Olympia Diner.

[Felix Mala]

79. Ted Koppell interviews Bob Dole about how he will save his candidacy.

Bob Dole floats several ideas to be all things to all people including having a sex change operation and becoming the bright light of pure energy candidate.

Oops, that makes six. I better stop.

[seemunkee]

74. Jimmy Tango's Fat Busters

Walken in the sketch with the census taker, any of the Samurai sketches with Belushi, Akroyd as the sleazy toy salesman, and Bass-o-matic.

[ComerPerro]

87. I LOVE Jimmy Tango's Fat Busters

"But you might say, 'Jimmy, isn't Crystal Meth illegal?'

MMMMM (nodding)

That's why my scientist, Dr. Cody, ..."

[Felix Mala]

76. #1: Earl of Sandwich and Lord & Lady Douche Bag

#2:Tom Hanks, Mr. Belvedere Support Group: "I should want to cook a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.

#3:Russell Simmons "Def ER Jam" (That episode with Chris Rock hosting is, IMO, probably the single best episode of SNL, FOR ALL TIME. Every joke is funny from beginning to end.)

#4: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Kelsy GrammarDorm

#5: Jerry Seinfeld trying to teach moron kids.

[ComerPerro]

88. I forgot about the Mr Belvidere fan club

[RubyDuby in GA]

81. Asswipe Johnson

the skit with Nicholas Cage, about picking baby names. Delivery guy at the door announces "I have a package for a Mr. Asswipe Johnson." And Cage yells back "it's As-Wee-Pay" :)

[ComerPerro]

89. Yeah, where whatver first name his wife suggests, he

finds a way that kids will make fun of it.

Its apparent through the whole sketch that he has some kind of serious issues.

Then, the delivery shows up, for "Asswipe Johnson"

[ComerPerro]

82. Happy Fun Ball, Amazin Lazer, Patrick Stewart and his erotic cakes,

Jimmy Tango's Fatbusters (Jim Carrey), and Disfunctional Family Feud, with Christain Slater.

[Dastard Stepchild]

99. That Patrick Stewart show...

was fairly excellent from beginning to end. :thumbsup:

[Lisa]

91. Genius Reagan; unsafe child toys; monster in the closet; the Vandals;

And Al and Tipper Gore go into counselling with Stuart Smalley. (It's tough to choose that one over the weirdly-prophetic "if George W. Bush becomes President" with Will Ferrell -- but I really think that the episode hosted by Al deserves some recognition, since it was one of the better ones in the past few years.)


"Genius Reagan" (I think the sketch is actually called "Mastermind" -- Phil Hartman played Reagan) -- a tough choice between this one and the "Caveman Lawyer", another of Hartman's roles.

The unsafe toys one had Jane Curtin, interviewing an unscrupulous entrepreneur.

The one with the monster (actually, several of them) hiding in the bedroom of the little girl -- Gilda Radner -- and Martin Sheen played her exasperated dad.

The Vandals -- with Steve Martin as a Roman centurion troubled by barbarian pranksters. (I also love his "things are so much more optimistic with banjo music" and "What I want" monologues.)

[Left Is Write]

95. Only five? I'll try.

1. Schwetty Balls

2. Patrick Swayze/Chris Farley as Chippendale wannabes

3. Bass-o-matic '76

4. Phil Hartman as Barbara Bush, kicking Nancy Reagan (Jan Hooks) out of the White House

5. And a kind of cheater's answer: any sketch involving Will Ferrell as GWB or Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton

[Lisa]

97. sounds like this might be a good time for the SNL transcripts link ...

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/


Just to refresh people's memories (and help them goof off at work this afternoon).

[Dastard Stepchild]

100. self-delete

Posted in the wrong spot. But thanks for the righteous link anyhow!
:)

[Terran]

104. Wow, cool resource.

I found a link to the transcript to what I cactually consider the funniest SNL skit ever, "The Diner", with Alex Baldwin. But the links don't seem to be working right now.

"The Diner" is hard to describe, but it features Jan Hooks as a waitress alternately being gushily nice to two non-threatening doofuses played by Kevin nealon and Phil Hartman, and then being outrageously coy toward the dramatic, mysterious, and handsome stranger played by Baldwin, in mirror shades. Nora Dunn plays a sort of chorus as she advises Jan, without looking at her, "You are skating on thin ice" in a southern accent. The best line in it is when Baldwin sternly admonishes Hooks, "You shouldn't give yer PIE away. Makes ya look CHEAP!"

[Terran]

118. Finally snagged that transcript of "The Diner"

Funniest. Sketch. Ever. You have to imagine Jan Hooks and Alec Baldwin at their most arch. When Jan goes back and forth between the Cowboy and Roy and Earl, her demeanor changes utterly. It's hilarious.

The Diner

Brenda.....Jan Hooks
Roy.....Kevin Nealon
Earl.....Phil Hartman
Dorothy.....Nora Dunn
Cowboy.....Alec Baldwin


< open on a Southern diner - Brenda the waitress bringing orders to the counter >

Brenda: Who got the Chicken Leg Special?

Roy: < eating from a plate in front of him that's not his > Me. I did.

Brenda: Roy, why didn't you tell me I gave you the wrong order?

Roy: Because, Brenda.. I didn't have the heart..

Brenda: < laughs > Earl? I'm afraid I gave Roy your breakfast!

Earl: < eating from a plate of him that's also not his > Oh, that's okay.. I'll eat this one.

Brenda: Oh, but it's real cold.

Earl: Well, gosh.. I don't mind!

Brenda: < laughs > Honestly, boys! I don't see how you put up with me!

Earl: Well.. we don't know how you put up with us! < Brenda laughs > All we do is.. come in here and order stuff.

Brenda: You two are the sweetest things! < pinches Earl's cheek > You are! < walks across to the counter to fellow waitress Dorothy > I ran into Bobby. He asked about you.

Dorothy: So?

Brenda: You working late tonight?

Dorothy: Who wants to know?

Brenda: Who do you think?

Dorothy: Why should I care?

Brenda: What should I tell him?

Dorothy: How should I know?

Brenda: < defensive > I just asked a question!

Dorothy: < looks toward the door > Well.. look what just blew through the screen.. < a tall, rugged cowboy enters the door and suavely takes a seat on the stool across from Roy >

Brenda: < angry > Man! His type just makes me crazy! Shoot! Look at him - sitting on that stool like he's doing it a favor! Well, you know what? He can sit there forever as far as I'm concerned - I just don't care! < thinking > However.. my job description requires me to go down and find out exactly what he wants. < approaches the Cowboy > Can I help you?

Cowboy: < in control > You got coffee?

Brenda: < taps a cup on the counter > Got a cup?

Cowboy: You think you can fill it?

Brenda: Think you can handle it?

Cowboy: I can handle a menu!

Brenda: < gives him a menu > First look is free.

Cowboy: I ain't paid for looking yet!

Brenda: < stern > You'd better watch it, Cowboy!

Cowboy: I've been watching it ever since you walked over here.

Brenda: Yeah.. I couldn't help noticing what you were looking at, too.

Cowboy: I ain't looking at anything that ain't showing!

Brenda: You'd better keep your eyes on what you're watching, instead of what you think ain't showing! 'Cause we got rules here, Mister! Rules! I'm gonna be right back..

Cowboy: I'll be here!

Brenda: Okay.

Cowboy: Alright!

Brenda: Good, then.

Cowboy: Bye!

Brenda: Okay. < walks back to Dorothy >

Dorothy: What did he want?

Brenda: What do you think?

Dorothy: Well, what did you say?

Brenda: Well, what do you think I said?

Roy: < interrupting > Eh-excuse me - Brenda? Can we get a cup of coffee?

Brenda: Sure! < comes forward with a potful >

Earl: Unless.. unless you.. unless you don't want us to have any more.. < blushes >

Brenda: Ohhh, you boys! you are just the sweetest things! I mean it, you really are!

Earl: Yes, Ma'am! < lowers his head >

Brenda: < brings coffee to the Cowboy > Ready to tell me what you want?

Cowboy: I made that decision when I was 12!

Brenda: Ready to tell me what you'd like?

Cowboy: I'm ready!

Brenda: You look it!

Cowboy: You got Specials that look real fine.

Brenda: Yeah, I'm pretty proud of 'em.

Cowboy: Are they as good as they look?

Brenda: I ain't had no complaints.

Cowboy: I'll take the Wagon Master! < Brenda turns away, but he pulls her back > But I like my eggs on top of my toast!

Brenda: I just bet you do. < walks back to Dorothy > Order up!

Dorothy: You are skating on thin ice.

Brenda: I don't know what you're talking about.

Dorothy: You are driving on ball tires.

Brenda: Well, I would love to carry on this interesting conversation, but if you will excuse me, I have muffins to stack. < starts stacking the muffins on the counter in front of Roy and Earl >

Roy: < snorts happily > Gosh, Brenda! You sure do stack them muffins real good!

Brenda: Why, thank you, Roy! It's an acquired skill!

Earl: < smiles impishly > Well, you.. do it real good!

Brenda: < pinches Earl's cheek, then returns to the cowboy > Now.. why don't you tell me what kind of pie you want with your breakfast special..

Cowboy: I didn't order pie!

Brenda: It comes with the Special!

Cowboy: It's not on the menu!

Brenda: What are you trying to say?

Cowboy: What are you trying to do?

Brenda: Are you trying to say that I'm the sort of waitress who would offer a slice of pie if it wasn't on the menu?!

Cowboy: All I'm saying is, pie is never free!

Brenda: You want to know what I think? I think you can take that order right out the door! Because appetites like yours, huh, they're a dime a dozen!

Cowboy: I guess I'll be going, then!

Brenda: Well, I guess you will!

Cowboy: < stands up and heads out the door > You know something, honey? You shouldn't give your pie away with breakfast! It makes you look cheap! < exits >

Brenda: You get out! < starts crying >

Dorothy: Now, now.. don't you cry, honey, he ain't worth it.

Earl: < helpful > Brenda..? I'll.. eat his pie..

Roy: Me, too!

Brenda: < smiling > You are the sweetest things!

< fade >

[Dastard Stepchild]

101. I always enjoyed the Harry Carey (Ferrell) Space skits..

Especially the one with Jeff Goldblum. And I generally liked when Ana Gasteyer played Martha Stewart....the one that always made me laugh was a Martha Stewart's Mother's Day Special. Her daughter gets her a ceramic Snoopy on a soccer ball, and she looks at the camera and says, "I mean, what the hell?"
I'm not Ana, so I'm not making it as funny as it was. :)

Now I like Debbie Downer. wah-wah-wah...

[RayOfHope]

112. Bwaha! "Hey, how about a ham sandwich?" n/t

[Dastard Stepchild]

115. :)

I love the "hey..." followed by the incoherent rambling. I wish this would have been a more recurring character, but since it was limited in number, I guess there was a better chance to have them all be good. Which they were. :)

[Lisa]

113. how about the "Martha Stewart Naked Christmas Special"?

Jingle bells!

Re: Debbie Downer -- I see that she now has a boyfriend with a similar outlook.

[Dastard Stepchild]

116. I forgot about that one...

She was pretty dead on with her impersonation. :)

[LynneSin]

128. Did you see Debbie Downer last saturday night

They had Steve Carell play another downer type character (I forget his name) and it was like true love for both of them. Carell was a perfect fit for Debbie Downer's love interest

[Dastard Stepchild]

129. oh... it was excellent...

excellent. Steve Carrell :loveya:

[Lisa]

130. Bob Bummer! (It's as if they were made for each other!)

I love how all the other wedding guests hastily excused themselves, when they started avidly discussing feline diseases ...


(meow ... meow ...)

[bertha katzenengel]

103. Ooh, good topic! 1. Gilda Radner & Steve Martin Dance

2. Happy Fun Ball

3. oh, hell, i can't even remember any more.

[LisaM]

105. Dana Garvey as Perot, with Phil Hartman as Admiral Stockdale

that one had me rolling on the floor.

2) Wilderness Comedian, really old John Belushi one that made no sense
3) Coneheads - didn't Steve Martin or someone come and try to date Connie Conehead?
4) The Jeopardy skits with Sean Connery - "I'll take Jap Anus relations"
5) The one that disappeared - but showed Will Ferrell doing a "what if" as GWB (it ran during the recount) and everything they showed came true.

There are many others, but those spring to mind. There was another one where John Lovitz played Dukakis and was debating with Bush1, and the Bush1 guy (must have been Dana Garvey) started babbling about inventing a time travel machine, and Lovitz, as Dukakis, said, "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy"

Anything with Phil Hartman
Martin Short as Ed Grimley, Jr. dancing around to a Pat Sajak picture
Chris Farley with the quotes - I'm not "the NORM". I live in a "Van" down by the "river."

[hfojvt]

125. I could tell you more about it, but I don't have enought time

"Uh, you still have two minutes"
"What?"
"You said, you didn't have enough time. I am reminding you that you still have two minutes."
"Oh, I do, well it must be used up with this exchange."
"No, this didn't count against it, you still have two minutes."
"Okay, uh stay the course, thousand points of light, uh kinder, gentler. I could tell you more if I had more time."
"Ninety seconds."

Or something like that. I should look up the transcript.

Lovitz was great - the master thespian has been mentioned, and I also liked the serial liar. Yeah, that's the ticket, and there was one skit with Mick Jagger, yeah, Mick Jagger, and ...
He was also the guy that Shatner pointed to in his great rant "You there, you must be thirty years old. Have you ever kissed a woman?"

[ceile]

107. hmmm...."sucking cork" was damn funny!

Janet Jackson about sucking "cork" at a winery. I was on the floor!
Schwette Balls
Tom Hanks where the family pulls stuff out of the fridge "try this milk I think it's bad....oooh, smell this it smells like shit" etc. Consolation prize-Short Term Memory Man
David Spade as Tom Petty
Sean Connery Jeporady

[LA lady]

110. An important era of TV

I wish I could remember more:

1. ANYTHING Gilda
2. Mango
3. The car made out of clay (Adobe?)
4. The Eddie Murphy skit in white face where he discovers the world is pretty different if you are white.
5. The cereal that broke your teeth

This show has had such an impact on our generation; so many phrases that are a part of our lives. Do we ever say cheeseburger without seeing Belushi? What does candygram make us think of? Noogies? The Judy Miller show?
Does anyone remember the killer bee skit when John reached behind the desk and pulled out a toddler dressed as a bee and said "I have a B+"? I made that into a Halloween costume that all four of my kids wore.What an important program it turned out to be. Sorry for rambling.

[nytemare]

111. Phil Hartman as jogging Clinton at McDonalds

Many with Christopher Walken. Land Shark was good. Coneheads, Emily Litella, Rosanne Rosannadanna, Pat.

[tallahasseedem]

114. Anything that involved...

Will Ferrell playing *.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

117. My 5

1. Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtain with Ackroyd as the owner of a sleazy toy company marketing dangerous toys to kids.

2. The first Bill Brasky skit

3. The original Matt Foley skit

4. Kevin Nealon hosting a radio show with Joe Mantegna as his guest from the mayor's office on public safety. Mantegna warns against making "eye contact" with anyone in NYC.

5. The Celebrity Jeopardy with Reese Witherspoon as Anne Heche, Tracy Morgan as Chris Tucker and Hammond as Connery.

[bliss_eternal]

119. The Clinton /Lewitsky skits are some of my all time faves!!!

Daryl Hammond was a wonderful Clinton!

Some of my faves from that period:
Their celebration in the Oval Office, complete with celebratory dance, Tracy Morgan dressed as secretary, doing a dance(hysterical), Monica, Hilary and Bill drinking beer! "...But we're not gloating!"

Clinton after the Starr hearings, addressing the nation at a press conference, "I. Am. Bullet. Proof." Hammond struts away. (So funny!)

Other skit faves:

Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze audition to be Chippendale dancers.

Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra, performing duets with other entertainers (Alright, Clear the bench--let's get this movin'!)

The Ladies Man with Julianne Moore.


I've got the majority of these skits, along with many others on tapes--one of my psycho hobbies.:crazy: Dh says my tapes are WAY better than the Best Of dvd's/tapes offered. The skits I select to tape are usually their best work!

[Lisa]

131. "we're not gloating" ... and Ferrell played Al Gore, in the background

Tracy's little dance was hysterical!

[bliss_eternal]

132. That's right--Will in the background...

Everytime I see that skit, I lmao! Soooo funny!

There was another one, Ferrell as Ken Starr in a bar, talking to one of the guys that wanted to take down Clinton. Starr kept saying, "What the Hell Happened?" At one point, Clinton (Hammond) comes out of the back room with a woman-he tips her, kisses her and says hi to the guys. Another one that cracks me up everytime I see it!

[Lisa]

133. I actually won a bet with that sketch ...

Someone claimed that Darrell Hammond always played Gore, while Ferrell played Bush.

[bliss_eternal]

120. I also have a weird thing for Toonces the Driving Cat...

I laugh hysterically whenever I see those skits! They're just so damned silly...

:rofl:

[shugah]

121. steve martin "what the hell is that?

what is that dang deal?"

land shark

buckwheat killed - killer voted "most likely to kill buckwheat" in HS

emily littella - "and i said HEY! doctor joyce brothers! you got a sweat ball on the end of your nose!" (actually almost anything gilda did was great!)

news - "hi, i'm chevy chase and you're not."

[Starbucks Anarchist]

124. Hard to rank, so here's an unordered list:

Matt Foley (first one)
Behind the Music BOC ("Cowbell")
Will Ferrell as Bush (all)
Barry Gibb talk show
Da Bears

[BulletproofLandshark]

126. 6 Words:

James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party

[LostinVA]

127. Sprockets and Ed Grimeley, and Gasmyer's Celine Dion

[bliss_eternal]

134. The Antonio Banderas, how you say--show...

With Fallon and Sanz in the background yelling, No--no, don't it's too sexy--too sexy!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[cedahlia]

135. All my faves are Will Farrell skits

--Farrell as Harry Caray

--Jeopardy (w/Farrell as Alex Trebeck)

--More Cowbell!

--Farrell as Neil Diamond

--Farrell as Robert Goulet

[Lethe]

136. here we go.....

Top 5 in no paticular order:

1. Chris Farley as Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker
2. Phil Hartman as the Anal Retentive Chef
3. Adam Sandler where he does The Denise Show
4. The Chicago Super Fans (daa Bears, mini-Ditka vs God)
5. The skit where Dana Carvey and Adam Sandler are working in the restaurant, and Dana is training Adam to be a "pepper boy". "Freshay Peppar?"

[yellowdogintexas]

138. so many years, so many skits...

but I have definite favorites of the ones I have seen

1. King Tut
2. Roseanne Rosanadana
3. President Carter micromanaging the meltdown at the nuclear facility
4. "Jane you ignorant slut"
5. Wild and Crazy Guys
6. "Land Shark
7. Samurai anything
8. Coneheads
9. Church lady
10. Dan Acroyd as Julia Child