I need your help to win the Nobel Prize

[ashling]

for Science/Religion, formerly known as Physics.

I have developed the one true theory that explains the whole Universe in all its amazing complexities, namely:

The LOOSE TEA THEORY of INTELLIGENT DESIGN

This theory blows string theory out the proverbial cosmic window. It will soon be the topic of a Discovery Channel documentary that will play over and over and over indefinitely in all its amazing complexity.

Its amazingly simple, really. You see, the universe in all its amazing complexity is, in fact, made up of Loose Tea. That’s it.

This should comfort those DUers who have been unable to find loose tea at your local market. Its all around you all the time. In fact, putting tea in bags with cardboard tags is a corporate conspiracy to control the universe in all its amazing complexity.

This is a very basic theory which is made somewhat more complex when considering it from the position of intelligent design theorists. Who was the designer, and what type of tea did he/she use?

This is known as the Orange Pekoe or Earl Grey Debate. It appears that the universe in all its amazing complexity is made up of loose Earl Grey Tea. This can be easily deduced from the fact that the intelligent designer had to be British. I mean, have you seen Trading Spaces recently?

So, please, please, someone nominate me for the Nobel Prize. When I win, you are all invited over for a spot of tea

[AllegroRondo]

1. Heretic! Everyone knows its actually coffee!

[ashling]

2. I am hurt by your use of the "heretic" label

Us religiioscientific theorists are always happy to enter into a scintillating discussions in all their amazing complexities, but there is no need for name calling.

For instance, did you know that our founding forefathers were proponents of the loose tea theory? Its all right there in the Federalist Papers or the Constitution or someplace (I forgot where I put it . . . all this loose tea can play tricks on the memory.) As a matter of fact, the Boston Tea Party was more than just a political statement. It was, in fact, an attempt to illlustrate what we theorists refer to as the ... the... well, we refer to it as something . . . now where did I put that copy of the Loose Tea Declaration ... oh well.

Interesting that you should bring up coffee, though (I did the same thing after drinking several brazillion cups during finals- not pretty, but that is a different story) As Loose Tea is, well... 'loose', it has been theorized that the space between the tea is actually filled by grounds of coffee.

Which brings up the next amazing complexity: Drip or Coarse, and of course, the controversial Folgers vs. Maxwell House. Hmmmm?

Something to think about.

[underpants]

3. Okay since the cat is out of the bad....the Juan Valdez pivot

Juan was of course only a figurative analogy. This character was created in right wing think tanks and unveiled in the mid70's as a means to disrupt the Loose Tea baggers and to create their own reality. The same model was used with regard to national security, history, and economic models.

BTW- this is hilarious and brilliant.

[ashling]

4. So I can count on your nomination?

Exactly. Have you ever seen James Lipton interview the guy who plays Juan Valdez? And you won't. . . for reasons that I will not go into here.

:tinfoilhat: :tinfoilhat:

[underpants]

6. Done

:spray:

[AllegroRondo]

7. Funny you should mention a "brazillian" cups

because, as I am sure you know, they grow no tea in Brazil, only coffee.

So while it is possible to drink a brazillion cups of coffee, you cannot drink a single cup of brazillian tea.

[ashling]

8. Please excuse the sloppy reference

My reference was to coffee. I am sorry that I didn't make that more clear (is it'more clear' or 'clearer' )

Interesting that you should bring up coffee, though (I did the same thing after drinking several brazillion cups during finals- not pretty, but that is a different story)

Us religioscientific theorists have to be careful to make ou references clear in all their amazing complexity. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

[AllegroRondo]

10. Please excuse my poor reading skills

I should have noticed the reference.

[miss_kitty]

5. What About LAPSANG SUCHONG!!!!11!!!1!1?

And marijuana Also coincidentally known as tea? Is that the religioscientific herb of oneness?

[ashling]

11. NO

[Sabriel]

9. Your loose tea nomination is in the bag

Of course, it doesn't taste as good in the bag. I prefer it loose.