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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 10:59 PM
Original message
auto-redacted
Edited on Thu Oct-20-05 11:00 PM by swag
what a fuck-up.

now i'll post that in the thread where it belongs.
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FuzzySlippers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:09 PM
Response to Original message
1. Self-deleting's not good enough for you, is it?
No. You have to "auto-redact".
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I think this qualifies for snappiest posthumous thread award
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:16 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. "Better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime"
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. I'm under a judicial order to auto-redact.
Unfortunately the order only specifies redaction and not release.

Woe is me.
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
4. auto-erotic




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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:18 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. Warm leatherette
melts on your burning flesh
you can see your reflection
in the luminescent dash

A tear of petrol
Is in your eye
The hand brake
Penetrates your thigh
Quick -- Let's make love
Before you die

On warm leatherette
Join the car crash set
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:26 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. I actually have the Normal's "other" record
It's a one-sided 12" live EP on Rough Trade. Not too bad, actually.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:37 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Fucking hell, I have that too.
Wait, let me go look on the vinyl shelves.

Well, see what you get when the ol' lady rearranges and recategorizes the records every six months?

At any rate, I used to have it.

Have read the Ballard book numerous times. Should try to go beyond that and Concrete Island one of these days, but I get caught in the loop of Ballardian techno-sexual dread.
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:41 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I have had an unread copy of Concrete Island on my bedside table....
for over a year now. Every time I open it, I immediately fall asleep.

There's something about Ballard's style that does that to me. It's not as if his writing style is complicated, it just puts me off.

It's a first edition; maybe I should just sell it and buy some meth.

But I'd rather read him than Mirabeau.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:49 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Suave? Damn. You are one suave fuck!
The prose is very flat and clinical. And repetitive. Like the classic "Why I Want to Fuck Ronald Reagan" from Atrocity Exhibition

http://info.interactivist.net/article.pl?sid=04/06/11/1535254&mode=nested&tid=18

RONALD REAGAN AND THE CONCEPTUAL AUTO DISASTER. Numerous studies have been conducted upon patients in terminal paresis (GPI), placing Reagan in a series of simulated auto crashes, e.g. multiple pileups, head-on collisions, motorcade attacks (fantasies of Presidential assassinations remained a continuing preoccupation, subject showing a marked polymorphic fixation on windshields and rear trunk assemblies). Powerful erotic fantasies of an anal-sadistic surrounded the image of the Presidential contender.

Subjects were required to construct the optimum auto disaster victim by placing a replica of Reagan’s head on the unretouched photographs of crash fatalities.

In 82% of cases massive rear-end collisions were selected with a preference for expressed fecal matter and rectal hemorrhages. Further tests were conducted to define the optimum model-year. These indicate that a three year model lapse with child victims provide the maximum audience excitation (confirmed by manufacturers’ studies of the optimum auto disaster). It is hoped to construct a rectal modulous of Reagan and the auto disaster of maximized audience arousal.

Motion picture studies of Ronald Reagan reveal characteristic patterns of facial tones and musculature associated with homoerotic behavior. The continuing tension of buccal sphincters and the recessive tongue role tally with earlier studies of facial rigidity (cf., Adolf Hitler, Nixon). Slow-motion cine films of campaign speeches exercised a marked erotic effect upon an audience of spastic children. Even with mature adults the verbal material was found to have a minimal effect, as demonstrated by substitution of an edited tape giving diametrically opposed opinions...

INCIDENCE OF ORGASMS IN FANTASIES OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH RONALD REAGAN. Patients were provided with assembly kit photographs of sexual partners during intercourse. In each case Reagan’s face was super imposed upon the original partner. Vaginal intercourse with "Reagan" proved uniformly disappointing, producing orgasm in 2% of subjects.

Axillary, buccal, navel, aural, and orbital modes produced proximal erections. The preferred mode of entry overwhelmingly proved to be the rectal. After a preliminary course in anatomy it was found that the caecum and transverse colon also provided excellent sites for excitation. In an extreme 12% of cases, the simulated anus of post-costolomy surgery generated spontaneous orgasm in 98% of penetrations. Multiple-track cine-films were constructed of "Reagan" in intercourse during (a) campaign speeches, (b) rear-end auto collisions with one and three year model changes, (c) with rear exhaust assemblies...

SEXUAL FANTASIES IN CONNECTION WITH RONALD REAGAN. The genitalia of the Presidential contender exercised a continuing fascination. A series of imaginary genitalia were constructed using (a) the mouth parts of Jacqueline Kennedy, (b) a Cadillac, (c) the assembly kid prepuce of President Johnson...In 89% of cases, the constructed genitalia generated a high incidence of self-induced orgasm. Tests indicate the masturbatory nature of the Presidential contender’s posture. Dolls consisting of plastic models of Reagan’s alternate genitalia were found to have a disturbing effect on deprived children.

REAGAN'S HAIRSTYLE. Studies were conducted on the marked fascination exercised by the Presidential contender’s hairstyle. 65% of male subjects made positive connections between the hairstyle and their own pubic hair. A series of optimum hairstyles were constructed.

THE CONCEPTUAL ROLE OF REAGAN. Fragments of Reagan’s cinetized postures were used in the construction of model psychodramas in which the Reagan-figure played the role of husband, doctor, insurance salesman, marriage counselor, etc.

The failure of these roles to express any meaning reveals the nonfunctional character of Reagan. Reagan’s success therefore indicates society’s periodic need to re-conceptualize its political leaders. Reagan thus appears as a series of posture concepts, basic equations which reformulate the roles of aggression and anality. Reagan’s personality. The profound anality of the Presidential contender may be expected to dominate the United States in the coming years. By contrast the late JFK remained the prototype of the oral subject, usually conceived in pre-pubertal terms. In further studies sadistic psychopaths were given the task of devising sex fantasies involving Reagan. Results confirm the probability of Presidential figures being perceived primarily in genital terms; the face of LB Johnson is clearly genital in significant appearance--the nasal prepuce, scrotal jaw, etc. Faces were seen as either circumcised (JFK, Khrushchev) or uncircumcised (LBJ, Adenauer). In assembly-kit tests Reagan’s face was uniformly perceived as a penile erection. Patients were encouraged to devise the optimum sex-death of Ronald Reagan.



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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. I'll give you suave:
I take a dog-eared copy of "Gravity's Rainbow" to the beach, to score chicks.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:00 AM
Response to Reply #19
23. Hadn't thought of that move.
I bet all that banana talk gets you in in no time flat.
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #23
25. Is that from the book?
I haven't read it; I just dog-eared it.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:11 AM
Original message
He got game.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #25
26. auto-redacted
Edited on Fri Oct-21-05 12:12 AM by swag
dupeberry dupestein
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FuzzySlippers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:24 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. asphyxiation
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:45 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. I wish I could find "Case 9" from Park Dietz's
Autoerotic Fatalities online. Until I do, this case will have to do:

http://www.aarrgghh.com/no_way/deereSex.htm

Case 1

A forty-two-year-old Asian man was found hanging by the neck, suspended by a rope attached to the raised shovel of a John Deere model JD 410 diesel-powered backhoe tractor. He was last seen alive by his parents the previous evening at 10:30, when he walked out of their shared rural home.

Shortly thereafter they heard the tractor engine start, as they had on prior occasions, but they did not investigate further. The following morning the father noticed that his son's bed had not been slept in, The victim wrote about his tractor in a love poem.
and he heard the tractor engine idling. When he went out to the yard, he found his son dead, stiff, and cold.

The decedent was suspended in a semi-sitting position by a cloth safety-harness strap wrapped around his neck and clipped to a rope that was hooked on the raised shovel of the backhoe tractor. The victim had used the ligature to achieve partial autoerotic asphyxiation, and it was hypothesized that he lost consciousness and accidentally hanged.

Two years before his death, the decedent had bought the backhoe tractor as a Christmas gift to himself and named it "Stone." He used the backhoe on occasional ditch-digging jobs. He wrote about it in a Christmas newsletter to friends, in which he enclosed Stone's picture. He also wrote about his tractor in a long poem, which alluded to flying high in the sky with his friend, Stone.


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FuzzySlippers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:52 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. I know I'm going to Hell
because I'm rotflmao over that.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:54 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Don't feel bad.
I'm sure he died happy.
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FuzzySlippers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. ...
:rofl:
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #17
22. I guess Case 9 isn't online, otherwise I would be able to find it by
Googling "fecal-encrusted traffic cones."

Clearly this may not be the happiest of holiday seasons.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
5. ooooh swag
<3
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:24 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. Oh, goodness, you shouldn't have said that.
Knocked me clean off my WiFi for a second or three.

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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #8
21. Ok fine, i won't say it
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:06 AM
Response to Reply #21
24. MARXIST CAMGIRL NAMECHECK!
Saints preserve us in hot young stuff!

Don't think I haven't got that snapshot archived in the safe as well as backed up offsite well out of the earthquake zone and well above the floodplain. You never know when you'll have to implement the disaster recovery plan. But you do know what will be essential to have at the ready in such an eventuality.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 09:44 AM
Response to Reply #24
30. You know that
any earthquakes or floods will be the product of the earth moving when we actually meet someday & get up to crazy shenanigans. :)
We can get drunk and climb trees in public parks! Too cool for one earth to handle at the same time.
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #30
31. It'll be just like in Ghostbusters when the Keymaster meets the Gatekeeper
and all heck breaks loose.
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GirlinContempt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #31
32. Exactly
prepare yourself, world
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
12. autodidact!
;)

too bad I'm not really into copycats!
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-20-05 11:52 PM
Response to Reply #12
16. Autodidacticism is a good option many times. Often the only option.
And great for introverts.

But autoredacticism is probably safer, requires less of a practicioner, and that's probably why it's the road more traveled for me.

Played your bass lately? I haven't played my viola lately. But I have played the piano lately.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:13 AM
Response to Reply #16
27. Right on.
Edited on Fri Oct-21-05 12:14 AM by Heidi
And it sounds better than "self-taught," though I don't believe any of us are 100 percent self-taught.

Heidi, artist (auto-didact)
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swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:17 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. You're certainly an autodidacticism success story.
Rev'd up or relaxing after the last art show?
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 12:22 AM
Response to Reply #28
29. Thank you.
Getting ready for the next one, but I have all winter. (Thanks for asking, my friend.)

I was thinking the other day that it'd be really cool to organize one-day art event for kids (water media only), and then present their works "professionally," in mats and frames, with "proper" identification placards, in a real exhibit space. (Sorry, I'm thinking aloud.)
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-21-05 04:57 PM
Response to Reply #16
33. more drums lately
cool that you play the viola! I have played the electric piano a bit, too.
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