Writer
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Tue Feb-13-07 09:57 PM
Original message |
Why didn't I ever do drugs? |
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Why didn't I at least smoke a joint?
Why didn't I drink to excess? I've thrown up from liquor only three times in my life.
Why didn't I pop pills?
Why didn't I snort coke?
I had every - EVERY - reason to. But I didn't.
I just suffered and periodically took antidepressants. Am I a masochistic?
I'm sitting here sipping a Diet Coke. Why? Because I am so damned concerned I might gain half a pound. I wish someone could send me a "care package" of goodies so I could fall off the planet for just a while.
I feel so disconnected from the world at the moment. If there is anything that can bring me down to earth, I'll take it. Anything.
Writer the Lurker.
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nuxvomica
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:02 PM
Response to Original message |
1. You didn't ever do drugs because that is not your way |
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Celebrate yourself and lay off the diet soda, that stuff is poison!
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Writer
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. I can't feel my life at the moment. |
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The fizz of the soda feels good against my throat.
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nuxvomica
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:51 PM
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27. I've felt like that before |
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I have a lot of regrets in my life but none about drugs. I've smoked marijuana and it's very nice but it's not exactly an accomplishment (though there were times when I thought scoring some was). When I feel disconnected, it's usually because there's some unfinished business that I'm ignoring but that's just my racket. You may have a different racket.
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crim son
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:04 PM
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3. Because you're intelligent enough to know better? |
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You aren't interested in self-destruction? No wait... you have self control. For what it's worth, none of those things you listed is particularly useful as a coping tool for depression. Maybe you just have to much to live for and you don't want to miss out on it, even the painful parts. :hug:
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MoseyWalker
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:04 PM
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4. You are who you are, and |
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you are simply traveling through the "time" you have as you feel comfortable.
Don't let anyone ever cause you to feel uncomfortable with your choices.
Others have other choices, but this is your time to perceive.
You will connect again. It is inevitable.
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Kali
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:05 PM
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5. Well, it's never too late, but I don't suppose that is really the problem. |
JVS
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:06 PM
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6. What can I say? You've missed out! But tomorrow is a new day! |
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Edited on Tue Feb-13-07 10:06 PM by JVS
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Shine
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:12 PM
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7. You need to nurture yourself by getting grounded and connected with the earth |
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I suggest a walk in the woods or hanging out near a big body of water, if possible. There's something so healing about spending time in nature, to connect with yourself in a deeper way.
:hug: I, for one, think it's a good thing you haven't resorted to "recreational drugs" to deal with the confusion of your feelings.
Take care of your body, treat it as the temple it is. It's the only one you've got this lifetime! :D
Hang in there. :hug:
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taterguy
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Wed Feb-14-07 09:48 AM
Response to Reply #7 |
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I've tried medicating with harmful substances and medicating with intense nature experiences. The latter is always more satisfying. Sometimes it's even more of a rush
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scubadude
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:23 PM
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8. Maybe you're high on life! (nothing else needed!) |
LostInAnomie
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:27 PM
Response to Original message |
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Except for the alcohol bit. I drank a lot of that.
Maybe someday when I no longer have any responsibilities I'll start smoking it up.
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JVS
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #9 |
10. You should get all fucked up |
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It really improves one's mind
I didn't get all fucked up in HS not much in college either and now that I look back I feel that I was cheating myself
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InvisibleTouch
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:33 PM
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11. I can tell you my reason: |
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I don't like the feeling of being out of control. I don't like the thought of making an idiot of myself in front of others. And I know how uncomfortable I am if I have to deal with someone who's drunk or high - because I always get the sense that the person is not really "there," that I'm talking to the substance and not to them, and anything they say can't be taken at face value.
If you feel disconnected, then checking out further by tampering with your brain chemistry, is going to make it a whole lot worse. But if you can take your mind off yourself and your problems some other way, it's like taking a break from your life and coming back to it from a refreshed perspective. I find that watching a movie often does that for me, when I can't concentrate enough to get into a book.
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bigwillq
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:35 PM
Response to Original message |
12. If it was meant to be |
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for you to do drugs, you would've done them. It just wasn't meant to be.
Drugs were fun but I think you're better off without them.
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Starbucks Anarchist
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:35 PM
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xmas74
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:37 PM
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14. Don't worry about the drugs. |
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I did enough of them in my youth for both of us. You can bring along a friend on that deal, while you're at it-I did enough for them too.
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WCGreen
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:39 PM
Response to Original message |
15. Turst me when I tell you.... |
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the drugs ain't all that romantic...
Especially when you get up in it and drop that little vial on the floor of the bathroom at a sleezy bar and you dive for it even though it rolled behind the unflushed toilet cause that thing is more important than any care about cleanliness...
So yea, get all romantic about fucking drugs...
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bigwillq
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #15 |
17. I've done that before |
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I dropped the vial in the toilet once and I tried to still take a hit off it.
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xmas74
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:42 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
19. I've licked various mirrors |
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trying to find residue.
I've also cut open straws and scraped them.
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bigwillq
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:45 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
21. I've done the straw thing. |
xmas74
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:47 PM
Response to Reply #21 |
25. And chances are pretty high |
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that straw has been up more than just your nose.
Pretty nasty when you think about it but it seemed like a great idea at the time.
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bigwillq
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:49 PM
Response to Reply #25 |
26. I never used anyone else's straw. |
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For real.
Mostly I would do little thumb bumps just put a bit in that space between my thumb and point finger. It seemed like I would use less that way.
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xmas74
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #26 |
28. I'm a dummy from a small town. |
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We shared straws like it was going out of style. Pretty sad when you go through McDonalds drive thru and order a medium diet coke and a handful of straws! I've done little bumps too but really liked the rush of a nice fat line. (Or two. Or three.)
I was so lucky I never contracted Hep C.
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WCGreen
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:30 AM
Response to Reply #28 |
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All that nasty shit on the end of a straw....
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xmas74
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Wed Feb-14-07 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #36 |
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And nothing is freer than an empty straw.
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pitohui
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:40 PM
Response to Original message |
16. the nerd in me can't resist point ing out that anti-depressants ARE drugs |
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so you did too do drugs, you don't have to take a backseat to any cooler-than-thou pill-popper
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Deja Q
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:41 PM
Response to Original message |
18. I inhaled a Maroboro at the tender age of 17... |
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Then coughed and wondered how people could find that to be entertaining...
Of course, some 12 years later I made a diorama of a gaggle of marshamllow peeps, each of which smoking a ciggie... I'll admit I really felt mellow for half an hour afterward...
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wildhorses
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:44 PM
Response to Original message |
20. drugs is drugs, some come with a perscription and some don't |
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chemicals is chemicals...you did 'em
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HEyHEY
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:46 PM
Response to Original message |
22. Shit, you need to get laid. |
Writer
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:47 PM
Response to Reply #22 |
23. Oh, fuck. All I need to do is tap the Mister on the shoulder... |
HEyHEY
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:47 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
24. give him a tap... then get drunk and screw! |
Writer
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #24 |
35. This will spin your top... |
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but I dated only two men in my life. Slept with both, and married one of them.
The sex. Maybe it's all about the sex...
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Colobo
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:53 PM
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29. I've never been drunk or done drugs |
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I fear altered states of consciousness. That's just me.
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jobycom
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Tue Feb-13-07 10:54 PM
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30. I never did drugs, never got drunk. I'm rather content with that. |
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I'm not so concerned about my weight, though, and I've never taken anti-depressants, or much of any other type of medicine. Tried Vicodin once after surgery. I liked the pain better, never took it again.
Nothing masochistic about it. I prefer clear-headed pain to numbness of brain or body. Sounds to me like you want to escape the Earth, not come down to it. Sounds like you are already here.
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BulletTrain1964
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Tue Feb-13-07 11:03 PM
Response to Original message |
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I don't regret not doing drugs, but I do regret not taking the opportunities for another type of fun, if you get my drift. It's one of the reasons why I think abstinence-only education is for the birds.
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Oeditpus Rex
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:01 AM
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you've always been afraid you'd like 'em too much. :shrug:
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Writer
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:06 AM
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33. I just got back from indulging in an entire basket of fried cheese... |
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at the local Chili's. I don't eat like that often. I'm Miss Organic. Damn did it taste good. I need to indulge in more jollies. Who's with me?
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mrdemocrat78
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:08 AM
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lots and lots of chocolate.
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otherlander
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:35 AM
Response to Original message |
37. I haven't taken any drugs |
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for a year and a half now.
Please don't tell my parents. :yoiks:
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BlackVelvet04
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:37 AM
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38. I went through the disconnected feelings..... |
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Edited on Wed Feb-14-07 12:38 AM by BlackVelvet04
strangely enough the thing that helped me reconnect was baking bread from scratch. Something earthy about the smell of yeast, kneading the bread...I don't know maybe it reminded me of my childhood when my grandmother baked bread.
Hope you feel better soon.
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Ariana Celeste
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Wed Feb-14-07 12:43 AM
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39. Drugs aren't for everyone, man |
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I've partied a lot the last few years and self medicated to excess and where has it got me? I spent a couple nights in jail, got bailed, and had to get a lawyer to defend me in my upcoming trials. I have no idea whether I will be going to prison, or getting probation and community service. I won't be able to leave the state for Gods know how long. I think a few of my experiences were definitely worth it, but the rest of it? Meh. Not worth the stress I'm going through and the fact that I'm about to be a convicted felon, heh, for possessing a small amount of drugs for my own use.
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