Ever been made to feel guilty about being sick?

[hiaasenrocks]

Just looking for some feedback. Or whatever.

I've been sick for a couple of weeks and had to call in to work several times. The last two times my employer has had this disgusted tone in his voice, sometimes pausing without saying anything. Just dead air on the phone. I even made somewhat of a concession to him, saying if you need to hire someone else full-time I will understand. He said we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, whatever that might mean.

And today, a comment: "Well, if you're in pain, you're in pain. I guess just call me tomorrow. OK? Bye." He didn't hang up on me but it was clear he wanted to get off the phone.

I'm sick of being sick. I don't WANT to be sick. But I hate it when people are pissed off about other people's health situations that they can't control.

I understand that people have businesses that need to make money. I get that. But if you have a small business and you hire only one other person than yourself, well, sometimes things happen.

By the way, guess how many vacations I take a year? None. He goes to NYC in the fall for a week every year. Takes two weeks off in the summer for Florida trips. I'm not complaining. He's got the money and it's his business and his life. He can do what he wants. But I run the whole show when he's gone and I don't ask for weeks of vacation off.

/Rant over.

Thanks for letting me vent. ARRRRGGGHHHH.

[suninvited]

1. Do you get sick pay?

[hiaasenrocks]

2. No. And I don't even expect it, to be honest.

This is a small business, not a whole lot of money rolling through there. I do it because I can live off what I get paid, and it affords me the freedom to pursue other pleasures and dreams I have. The job is no-stress (or very low-stress) and that's what I was looking for when I left the corporate world.

[suninvited]

12. Then you should take your vacations.

I can see you not wanting to if you exhausted your sick pay, but really, you should get paid time off if you dont even get paid a number of sick days per year.

[skygazer]

3. I'm sorry you're sick

And yes, I've had that happen too. And I feel the same way as you do about it. I am always punctual, work hard, never just blow off work and often go in even when I don't feel well.

But sometimes people get sick. And the gracious thing to do when an obviously good employee has been sick for an extended time is to show concern for their well-being.

Hope you feel better soon. :hi:

[hiaasenrocks]

5. Thanks.

I'm the same way re:going in even when I don't feel good (but OK enough to work). In fact, I did that yesterday, and every day this week. The last two days I missed were at the end of last week. Today is just worse in terms of not feeling well enough to be there.

Thanks for the comments.

[KitchenWitch]

4. Long story ahead.

I worked in shipping and receiving for a software company, and I injured my back at work. My back had deteriorated to the point that I could not work and was awaiting surgery. My boss got on the speakerphone with the accounting manager and myself, and the accounting manager proceeded to threaten that my back surgery would not be covered.

[hiaasenrocks]

6. That's awful. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. n/t

[KitchenWitch]

11. It was evil. My boss was ... I can't even bring myself to call her what she is.

The company ended up paying out quite a bit in workers compensation because the injury happened while I was at work.

[Phillycat]

7. From a boss's perspective.

I'm sorry you're ill.

I manage a good number of people. When they call out, oftentimes I either have to scramble to find someone to cover for them or do their job myself. I have enough work of my own to do without adding someone else's. So when someone calls out, I'm not always thrilled to hear from them, no. It makes my life a lot harder.

I know it's not fair, but that's what the other side looks like.

[hiaasenrocks]

9. In a previous job, I was on that side, too.

I wasn't the owner, but I was the manager/supervisor of that section of the company. I never let any kind of emotional reaction show when I took a call from a sick employee. This is just my opinion but I felt it would show poor leadership (mostly to the people who WERE at work) but also because I would feel kind of petty getting upset or frustrated because someone was sick. People get sick. That's all there is to it, for me. Again, this is just my opinion. People differ.

[TZ]

8. Yeah I feel guilty a lot. Especially when we have deadlines looming

Having a chronic condition means I call in sick frequently. I have to. I need to be mentally alert and focused on what I am doing (lab work) or I could screw up testing (limited samples, expensive supplies, long hours wasted). So I know when its best NOT to come in.
But I always feel like a bit of a slacker, yeah...:hug:

[hiaasenrocks]

10. See, that's just it. We already feel bad about it. LOL.

Unless someone is faking an illness to get out of work, nobody chooses to be so sick that you can't go about your normal routine. The person affected most by the illness is the sick person, imo.

Sorry about your chronic condition.

[BarenakedLady]

13. I'm a mom

So, basically, I'm not allowed to get sick.

[hiaasenrocks]

14. Yeah, that's one job you can't call out. You win. :)

[BarenakedLady]

16. Heh

I feel ya, though. I remember calling in sick back in the day and getting the guilt trip. I always felt like they didn't believe me. It sucked.

[1gobluedem]

15. I try really hard not to try and make people feel guilty when they call in

But I also have to say that I have little to no patience with the minor illnesses that people call in with over and over again and, I admit, I can sound a little disgusted with them.

If someone is contagious or in such pain that they can't function by all means stay home; I encourage it. But calling because of hay fever, didn't get enough sleep, have the blues....yes, I can be annoyed by that.

I completely understand chronic pain. I have osteo arthritis and am allergic to all anti-inflammatory drugs so I can't get much relief from it. I can't remember a day when I've been pain free (I've broken my left wrist six times). I also have hay fever and get raging sinus headaches when the weather changes and I'm a chronic insomniac who can't sleep through the night ever. I have balance issues related to the removal of one of my inner ears to get to a brain tumor, which are exacerbated when I'm tired. So it's not that I don't understand pain,illness, or being tired. But I don't understand giving in to any minor ailment that comes your way.

Please understand that I am not implying this is the situation with the OP. I'm only saying, from a supervisor's point of view, that often people call in for things that I think they can cope with on the job. I've been at this job for 17.5 years and I've called in sick maybe eight times.

But, maybe I'm weird.

[hiaasenrocks]

19. I have coped with it on the job.

This involves pain when walking and I missed two days last week. I went to work Mon, Tues, Weds this week. I'm trying. But today is just horrible.

[Iggo]

17. Impossible.

I can't be made to feel guilty unless I am guilty of something.

When I'm sick, I'm sick. No guilt.

[hiaasenrocks]

18. Good point. I'll have to look at it like that.

I guess my "guilt" isn't about being sick. I just don't like to let someone down when they depend on me to do something. But sometimes things happen. So, I take your point and thanks for the insight.

[Iggo]

20. Okay, that I understand.

I, too, like to keep my promises. And when illness gets in the way I can see it leading to feelings of guilt.

Thanks for the new point of view.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

21. yes

i have chronic kidney disease, sometimes it means i feel fainty because of meds, and it usually happens in the mornings. i'll usually feel better by the afternoon and tell my boss i'll come in later, but usually that makes it look worse than if i were to just call in sick for the whole day. unfortunately it happens more than i would like, but i've got a chronic disease. it isn't going anywhere.

my last boss got frustrated and annoyed by it, so much so that she said she would fire me for missing more work (even though i hadn't missed that many hours - i generally always made them up). however, there's nothing i could do to prevent the fainting episodes, so i finally just told her i had a chronic health issue that sometimes would cause me to miss work or be late. it's not something i feel like disclosing to people, though in this case it was necessary.