ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 04:28 PM
Original message |
Customer: "My wireless internet connection isn't working" |
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Me: "Okay, well lets powercycle your modem and router first then we'll see if anything else needs to be done."
Customer: "Okay...now do I need my computer ON for any of this?"
x(
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Madrone
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Mon May-26-08 04:34 PM
Response to Original message |
1. I still say my favorite "dumbass lUSER" quote is this: |
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"It says click next. Now what do I do?"
:banghead: Handholding - it's not part of the job I miss. (I only answer phones anymore if noone else is available to do it first which = almost never)
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ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 04:41 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
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But when you're trying to get an internet connection on a computer, that computer probably should be on.
Common sense is something that is in dangerously low supply, apparently.
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DarkTirade
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Mon May-26-08 04:51 PM
Response to Original message |
3. I remember the last time I had to deal with tech support |
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for something... back in the days of dial-up. The automatic installation software for my new ISP wasn't working, so I had to call and have them walk me through doing the settings manually and whatnot. When I told the guy I wasn't a moron, and I'd just do what he told me to do and not ask stupid questions, you could almost HEAR the sigh of relief on the other end. :P
Although my favorate tech support story is the one about the lady whose monitor malfunctioned every Wednesday around 1.
By the time tech support got there every time it was back to normal. They could never figure out what was going wrong. But every Wednesday around 1 it would start malfunctioning in some way and she'd give them a call.
Finally they decided to save man-hours and just send one tech support guy to stay in that office on Wednesday, all day. Just so he could see if he could figure out what was going on.
The morning went by, nothing fancy. Then around noon, she took her lunch break. When she was done eating lunch, she watered her plants. Just like she did every wednesday.
Including the one sitting on top of her monitor.
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ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 04:54 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
4. Getting a customer who isn't a moron is one of the best feelings in the world. |
DarkTirade
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Mon May-26-08 04:58 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
7. The only questions I asked were things like |
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"What numbers do I type in here?" and relevant things like that.
I was probably his fastest call all day. I think he wanted to stay on the phone longer just to get away from the stupid for an extra minute or two. Unfortunately, me NOT being a moron made it a quick and easy call. :P
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orleans
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Mon May-26-08 06:37 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
19. is that a true story??? n/t |
DarkTirade
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Mon May-26-08 06:42 PM
Response to Reply #19 |
22. Found it on a site that was a collection of stories from tech support |
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so I can't verify it's authenticity... but I've met people stupid enough to pull that off. :P
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Haole Girl
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Mon May-26-08 04:55 PM
Response to Original message |
5. Oh the stories I could share.... |
ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 05:02 PM
Response to Reply #5 |
Haole Girl
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Mon May-26-08 05:17 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
11. I'll share just one... |
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Our on-line support desk used to have an employee (she retired in 2001) who would immediately ask, when the customer came on the line, "Ma'am/Sir...do you have your computer plugged it?!" She was hilarious! When I'd ask her if that was really necessary, she swore there were 3 or 4 people per day who didn't even have their comptuer plugged in but would call to ask why our website wouldn't work!
:rofl:
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ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 05:22 PM
Response to Reply #11 |
12. Hahaha, that is great. |
Philipsanchez
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Mon May-26-08 04:56 PM
Response to Original message |
ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #6 |
Mutley
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Mon May-26-08 05:07 PM
Response to Original message |
10. Alex, I'm gonna go with |
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Edited on Mon May-26-08 05:09 PM by mutley_r_us
"Who should not be allowed to have their own computer?"
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ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 05:22 PM
Response to Reply #10 |
13. And that is correct, for 5,000 points. |
SalmonChantedEvening
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Mon May-26-08 05:30 PM
Response to Original message |
14. A friend in FL ran an ISP and received an email from a customer... |
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Stating her email wasn't working.
:banghead:
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krispos42
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Mon May-26-08 05:30 PM
Response to Original message |
15. You can get her in a logic box now |
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He/she can't prove that it's not working, so you can state that your fixed it!
:-)
At least the person wasn't using the mouse as a foot pedal. Or had the power strip plugged into itself.
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fizzgig
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Mon May-26-08 05:31 PM
Response to Original message |
16. some people are simply too stupid to live |
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but what i think is worse is inept IT people. when i'd have a problem with my computer at my old job, i'd close and restart whatever application was having the problem and then powercycle the machine if that didn't work (my dad did tech support for a few years and is now a network manager, so i know basic troubleshooting and how to talk with IT people).
if i was still having problems, i'd call IT and tell them what the problem was and what i'd done to try to resolve it. they would then tell me to close and restart the application and when i told them i'd already done it, all i would get is an 'oh...well shut down and restart the computer.' i'd have to tell them again that i'd already done it, at which point they'd tell me they had no idea what the problem was and they'd be by in a bit :banghead:
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ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 05:35 PM
Response to Reply #16 |
17. My first call today was one of our techs actually. |
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Firstly they have their own line that they're supposed to call if they have any problems with the installation or whatever, but this guy couldn't get the modem to work for he life of him. I was like "Use a different modem." Problem solved.
I will admit though, I'll tell them to powercycle again even if they say they have just because I know they're mostly idiots who are too lazy to do anything so they lie about it.
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Madrone
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Mon May-26-08 06:26 PM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. That's what I was just going to say. |
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People LIE. They think it can't be anything that easy and that YOU'RE the dumbass for suggesting something so simple will fix their problem. I can't tell you how many times I've told people that I understand and "believe" that they've already done it, but would they please do it again just to humor me. VIOLA. Problem solved. :rofl:
If I ever have to call support for anything I understand their automatic assumption that I lie too - so I just humor them.
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NewJeffCT
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Mon May-26-08 06:39 PM
Response to Original message |
20. Well, they could have meant for powercycling the modem & router |
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I know when calling tech support, I've been told to shut down my PC, then shut down the DSL modem & router - then, they tell me to first turn the modem back on and wait until 3 lights are on my DSL modem before turning the PC back on...
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ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 06:42 PM
Response to Reply #20 |
21. No, they didn't mean that. |
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Their computer was already off just for the sake of being off and what should have been a 5-10 minute call took over 20 minutes.
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timtom
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Mon May-26-08 06:49 PM
Response to Original message |
23. Sounds terribly similar to many instances |
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when I ran a computer help desk.
I didn't vote for this regime. These oafs did.
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Ahpook
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Mon May-26-08 07:04 PM
Response to Original message |
24. Reminds me of that Jimmy Fallon skit on SNL:) |
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Edited on Mon May-26-08 07:04 PM by Ahpook
I seem to be the family computer guy. I can see how it may seem strange for some.
My mother always calls over with some trouble. I would do the "MOVE" thing when i got to her comp:) It was normally an easy fix. I went over once and her printer was spitting out page after page of garbage. She had been feeding it paper for 30 minutes before i got there. How she started that mess i will never know:)
It can be daunting, so be gentle.
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ghostsofgiants
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Mon May-26-08 07:05 PM
Response to Reply #24 |
25. I've been doing this for about a year now. |
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It's amazing some of the stupidity I encounter.
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Lil Missy
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Mon May-26-08 07:17 PM
Response to Original message |
26. The coffee cup holder on my tower is broken. |
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Can you send me a replacement?
:P
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RoyGBiv
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Mon May-26-08 08:21 PM
Response to Original message |
27. Can we extend this to billing? |
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Customer: I want to know why you people think you can get away with raising my bill every month.
Me: (after consulting customer's billing ledger) Well, sir, this month your bill is $98. For three months before that it was $101. The month before that it was $115.
Customer: That's what I said. You keep raising my rates!
O-kay.
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newmajority
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Mon May-26-08 08:39 PM
Response to Original message |
28. My favorite tech support call of all time (late 1990's) |
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Was from a guy who couldn't figure out why he couldn't get his CD-Rom to load. Turns out he didn't have a CD-Rom drive on his computer and he was trying to use it in a 5.25" floppy drive!! :rofl:
I had to put him on hold until I stopped laughing.
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tjwmason
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Tue May-27-08 04:26 AM
Response to Original message |
29. Did you manage to keep a straight face? |
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I'd be far too tempted to start laughing.
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