The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poetry Break, 5/26/08 (warning: language)

[BlueIris]

"Movies and telephone calls"

"prostitutes are anything but easy" you said
we watched "inside deep throat"
you made sandwiches which we ate lying down
when it was over, you asked me how far I could go
it was our second date so I told you I felt uncomfortable
we kissed for awhile and you went to the window
"the star hangs in the sky like a tooth" you said
I stood next to you for as long as I could
you called an ex-girlfriend on the telephone
when it was time to leave, you stood by the front door
the inside of your mouth reminded me
we all come from somewhere

—Kate Hall

[Westegg]

1. I don't care for this one, frankly...

...What's its point, Blue Iris? The narrator is on a second date with a jerk who's bad at similes. Granted. "Inside Deep Throat" is a documentary, as opposed to pornography. That's a fairly significant distinction, once you bring up the "Deep Throat" buzz words. Is this meant to be understood? "Bright as a Nazi lampshade" is understood. (Thank you, Sylvia.) Is the narrator passive because she/he lets him/her call an ex, or is she/he just bored? I get zero sense of the narrator from this poem. Which would be fine if I got some sense of the other person.

The date sees "the star" from the window. What sky is it that contains only one star? I say this as someone who lived in L.A. for many years. There were always at least a dozen, through the smog.

What do the last two lines mean? For that matter, what does it mean to need to be reminded that "we all come from somewhere"?

I come away from this wondering only what kind of sandwiches the narrator's date made.

[BlueIris]

2. Oh, my God, someone left a comment! Awesome.

I'll admit this isn't one of my better selections. For a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that discussion quality on this website has been a bit lacking lately.

Still, I'm sorry I let you down, Westegg. We'll get back to the intense ones soon enough. :-)

[Westegg]

3. No apology necessary! Beyond that...

...I certainly enjoy clicking on whatever your latest offering may be.

[BlueIris]

5. Aw, thanks.

We're trying, but I'm bogged down with a lot of weighty concerns at the moment. It's difficult to find, let alone post, anything that feels both appropriate and readable under these circumstances.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear BlueIris!

Well, I liked it!

It is a little strange, true...

But that's just poetic licence!

And I too look forward to whatever you offer us, sweetie...

:hug: