My aunt got married.

[jobycom]

So my favorite, and only, aunt has had the same partner for as long as I've been aware of her. She lives half a country away, so I rarely see her, but she's had a big influence on my life. Her partner has been even more distant, hesitant to venture into the deep south to see her partner's family, for reasons you can guess. Still, she visited us a couple of times.

So on one visit I found a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and one of "Sidhartha" in my room, and new my aunt had left them. I read both of them, moved and surprised, since these were non-Christian and non-didactic works that I'd never been allowed to read before. It changed my views of the literature, and eventually opened a different world to me. Sounds corny, but growing up in deep south Mississippi, I had always been limited in what I saw and experienced, and in personal ways, these books showed me a world I had knew existed but had never encountered before. They made me feel less alone. I loved my aunt intensely for those books.

I'm 43 now, and recently I saw my aunt and her partner again, for the first time in decades without a funeral as an excuse. While talking and catching up, my aunt's partner casually asked "Do you happen to remember when I left those books for you when you were a teenager?" It had been her. All these years I loved the wrong aunt. Well, I loved them both, but never realized... You know what I mean.

My aunt left her home in her teens to join a convent, unable to live with her own family. At some point she left the convent and joined the Army, so I went from seeing her in a habit to an Army uniform. In her life she's been a nun, an Army officer, a nurse, a college professor, a Red Cross volunteer in times of emergency. Finally, recently, the country she has served has allowed her to be a spouse. Although thanks to Prop 8, she may not get to keep that title. Our country will take what you are willing to give, apparently, but won't always give what you really want most to have.

Congratulations, Aunts, to both of you.

[mnhtnbb]

1. Thanks for sharing that story. Very nice summary in the last line of last paragraph.

[zanne]

2. That's a great story.

There have been "convent" people in my family, too. It was the only thing for them to do in those days. I'm glad your aunt(s) found happiness.

[jobycom]

4. My grandmother

my aunt's and mom's mother, was mentally ill. Shortly after my aunt, six years my mother's junior, was born, my grandmother's schizophrenia took over, and she tried to kill herself. For the next fourteen years she did this periodically, and always blamed my aunt. "Things were fine until you were born," she told her. It's difficult to fully blame my grandmother, though. Mental illness ran so heavily in her family that she was almost the functional one. She had siblings and cousins in and out of mental institutes, and frequently trying (always failing) to commit suicide.

My mother practically raised my aunt. My grandfather did what he could--he was loyal and devoted--but he had to work long hours, so my mother was the one home, raising her sister and taking care of her mother. When she was twenty she moved out, and my aunt quickly left for Catholic School somewhere up north. That's how she wound up in the convent.

My mother couldn't have children (I was adopted) and her sister is gay, so I sometimes wonder if nature was putting an end to an unsuccessful blood line there.

[zanne]

11. I wonder about the bloodline thing sometimes.

I didn't have children. I've had bouts of clinical depression since I was 14. I didn't want to bring anyone into the world to experience that. While my nieces and nephews were growing up, I watched very closely for any sign of it. Thank God, it didn't happen, but when a greatnephew or niece is born, I worry a little.

[dawgmom]

3. A beautiful story

Isn't it amazing how having just one person can have an impact like that in your life, and open up a whole world for you?

The Prop 8 thing makes me ill, and is such a dark spot on what was such a wonderful day. The only hope that I have is that the Supreme Court becomes less conservative under Obama, and that these cases eventually end up there, so the issue can be decided once and for all. As they had to do with civil rights in the 50's and 60's, the Supreme Court will need to step in and do the right thing.

[jobycom]

5. If Kennedy retires, we might get a chance.

It always seemed to me that not allowing people to marry based on their partner's gender is sexual discrimination, not to mention an invasion of privacy and a violation of the whole theme of the pursuit of happiness. I don't see how it can hold up in court. Maybe one day justice will prevail.

[applegrove]

6. It is a crime your aunt can serve her country so well but no be married to her

partner. I hope that is the next battle won on our side.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. jobycom, that is a beautiful, beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it.

:hug:

[latebloomer]

8. Very moving story

And I'm glad your "other aunt" was able to steer you onto the path that helped make you who you are!

[jobycom]

9. I like to think that I was already on that path

and she lovingly encouraged me along it. :)

[Biscottiii]

10. Beautiful tribute! Thanks for sharing.

This Prop 8 vote is so disheartening, even for us straight folks who have relatives that are gay too.

Glad for the reminder, as someone posted above, that Obama will be in a position to select the next Supreme Court vacancy.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

12. thanks for sharing