I need advice on dealing with unwanted visitors without being rude.

[Kitty Herder]

See, I'm a lapsed Mormon, living in the same rural town I grew up in. I consider myself an ex-Mormon; the church considers me inactive.

I like to maintain good relationships with my Mormon friends and neighbors. (ALL the neighbors are Mormons.) They're nice people and they're usually pretty good about leaving me alone with regards to religion.

So I got a call last night from a woman I've known since Jr. High who is also in the Relief Society presidency, saying that she and another lady are now my "visiting teachers." I don't go to church, so I don't know where they got the idea that I want visiting teachers. I have absolutely no problem with the visiting part; visits from neighbors are great. It's the teaching part that I don't like. And the inevitible prayer at the end to a God I don't believe in.

I'm trying to decide if I should just give in and play along, for the sake of harmony or if I should let them know that they needn't waste their time?

I almost feel like saying to them, "I won't teach you things you don't want to know about Mormon history, if you won't teach me things I know to be false. However, you're free to visit."

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Tell them they're welcome to visit as friends, but not as teachers or pray-ers.

If they're decent human beings, as they seem to be, they won't be offended. They may feel some sadness that you wouldn't jump at the chance for the religious bullshit, but if they are real friends, they won't go ballistic.

It's your house - the limits and parameters are up to you.

[KG]

2. just say no.

[petronius]

3. I googled to find out what a visiting teacher was, and found a Relief Society site

It sounded like a nice thing (if wanted), until I got this part:

"What should visiting teachers report on each month?
Each month, visiting teachers report on the spiritual and temporal well-being of each sister they visit. If the needs are urgent or confidential, they communicate this immediately and directly to the Relief Society president (see Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2, 203)."

Freakin' creepy!

I think your last line is the correct approach - tell them flat-out that you don't want that service, but friends are always welcome in your home. However, discussion of religion is forbidden, and your spiritual/temporal needs are your own private business. Or, just turn the hose on them...

[CraftyGal]

4. I, too, am a lasped Mormon.

In fact I have sent a letter asking to be taken off the membership rolls. Check this thread out Some LDS members leaving church over same-sex marriage controversy and here is the website, Mormon No More that explains it all. Now I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Hope this helps.

CraftyGal

(edited to fix code)

[AlCzervik]

8. My friend Donna is also a lapsed mormon straight out a SLC, she was at my house

one morning and my neighbor Sharon came over, she's a former catholic now baptist and me an atheist, anyhow one of them brought up religion and it turned into a holy war. "See what happens, you two cannot even discuss religion without wanting to kill each other".

[Kitty Herder]

9. I keep thinking about officially resigning.

I've even sat down and started to write the letter. I don't want to be counted as one of the members when I disagree with them on so much. But I can never work up the nerve to finish the letter.

I think I could easily do it if I weren't living in the same ward I grew up in. (I moved back in with my mom after I broke up with my ex-fiance with whom I was living.) But somehow, despite the fact that I think their religion is bunk, I still don't want to disappoint the priesthood leaders in my ward who would be the ones receiving that letter.I've known most of them since I was a kid.

[AlCzervik]

5. i would tell them they're welcome as guests and that's it.

[Orrex]

6. Just start disrobing

Don't say anything about it, and don't even stand up, if possible.

[DarkTirade]

7. You'll need a 3 foot stick.

Label it "Poking stick."

When they wear out their welcome, start poking them with the poking stick.

They'll get the hint.

[emilyg]

10. Say no. Hard to do but

feels great.

[Lil Missy]

11. I wouldn't even go into reasons. You have other plans, or the timing is not convenient.

They are not coming for just a "friendly visit." She has already made it clear that they have a particular goal in mind.

I don't think a confrontation about religion is even necessary. You are just busy, for personal reasons.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. If you're really out of the church, you need to have the courage to resign

Right now, you're acting like a lover who doesn't have the courage to tell his lover that it's over. It makes the lover still hold out hope that the relationship can be fixed, just as these church representatives are trying to bring you back into the fold.

Send a letter to your ward saying that you are resigning from the LDS because you no longer agree with its doctrines and that you no longer wish to be involved in any church activities but that you wish to remain friendly with individuals.

It's not easy, but I've done it (not leaving religion as such, but leaving individual churches).

If these people won't respect your wishes, then why should you care if you offend them? If they're really your friends from childhood, then they'll cut you some slack. If not...well, there's no law that says you have to get along with everyone you grew up with.