The four great religous truths

[guitar man]

*During these tumultuous times, people of all faiths should
remember the Four Great Religious Truths:*

*1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen
people.*

*2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.*

*3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of
the Christian world.*

*4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the
Liquor Store.*

:rofl:

[MineralMan]

1. Kicked the slats out of my crib, I did...

[tigereye]

2. but on "national brotherhood week, national brotherhood week"

Tom Lehrer's song

Oh, the white folks hate the black folks
And the black folks hate the white folks
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule

But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark
Are dancing cheek to cheek
It's fun to eulogize
The people you despise
As long as you don't let 'em in your school

Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks
And the rich folks hate the poor folks
All of my folks hate all of your folks
It's American as apple pie

But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans
'Cause it's very chic
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand
You can tolerate him if you try

Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Catholics hate the Protestants
And the Hindus hate the Moslems
And everybody hates the Jews

But during National Brotherhood Week
National Brotherhood Week
It's National Everyone-Smile-At-
One-Another-hood Week
Be nice to people who
Are inferior to you
It's only for a week, so have no fear
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!

[motely36]

8. I luvs me some Tom Lehrer

:hi:

[tigereye]

10. it's still quite funny after all these years - the guys we dated in the 70s

in high school were really into him. :hi:

[Inchworm]

3. Oh dear...

That is TOO relevant to me :rofl:

:applause:

[guitar man]

5. me too

I'm a recovering Southern Baptist :rofl:

[Inchworm]

6. As am I

with a Catholic "blood" family that thought I had sinned.

Talk about confusing!

:rofl:

Tree good. Bunny good. :thumbsup:

:rofl:

[guitar man]

9. hehe

I remember when we moved out of Oklahoma City to a small farming community when I was 5. My Dad's family was from the south and were all Baptist, so that's where we went to church, but my Mom was from PA and she was originally Methodist.

So we had joined the local Baptist church and been members for a couple months.Mom stopped in at the local liquor store for a couple bottles of wine and was coming out of the store when she met one of the local church ladies who was coming out of the fabric store next door. The church lady says "Hi Nora, what kind of recipe are you going to cook with that wine?". Without blinking, Mom says "I'm not going to cook with it, I'm going to drink it."

The church lady gives mom a disgusted look and mom says "well, I'm not driving all the way to Stroud to buy it like everybody else does." Church lady's mouth just turned to a straight line and she moved right along.

:rofl:

[skygazer]

4. Oh, I'm saving that

:rofl:

[SacredCow]

7. Funny...

There's a church near me that is currently listing their 2 religious truths:

"1. There IS a God.
2. You're not him."

But I like yours better!

[Ghost in the Machine]

11. "Truth" and "religion" don't belong in the same sentence together...

"Religious Truths" is an oxymoron, at best...


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