Running sausage clobbered by baseball player with bat

[Lefty48197]

I've seen the video about fifty times today already. Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon dared to swing his baseball bat and hit one of the running sausages (the Italian sausage, specifically) during the traditional running of the sausages in Milwaukee's baseball stadium. Insiders know that Simon would not have escaped with his life, if he had dared to strike the Bratwurst.
The young lady wearing the Italian sausage outfit was not seriously injured, apparently suffering only scrapes and bruises. The hotdog, whom the Italian sausage tripped, while falling, was appparently unhurt.
The assailant was taken before the judge and fined aobut $450 dollars for his behavior.
This just goes to show you why regular people don't go around suggesting that we should ban baseball bats. They can only do so much damage. Clearly the Italian Sausage would have died if the ball player had shot her in the head with a gun. Thankfully, firearms are banned from the dugouts, otherwise, this story might not have turned out quite so funny.

[-..__...]

1. Wise decision by the judge.

Clobbering sausages out of season should never be tolerated.

[soupkitchen]

2. He probably thought it was knockwurst n/t

*

[DonP]

3. Misdemeanor or felony?

Is beating meat a felony or misdemeanor in Milwaukee?

OK, OK, I'm sorry, but you know someone had to say it.

Don P.

[MrBenchley]

4. Funny piece in Salon this AM

"This is serious business. Simon's 37 career home runs are tainted now. Never again will our nation's kids be able to look up to this career part-timer who's now playing first base for the fifth-place Pittsburgh Pirates....
The Brewers do just about everything wrong that it's possible for a baseball team to do, but the sausage race is pretty funny, especially when one of the wienies pulls up lame in the home stretch, clutching at a Polonian hamstring, say, as the brat races to glory.
...His bat was confiscated and X-rayed to see if it had mustard in it.
They say if you watch enough baseball you'll see everything once, and now I believe it. I never thought I'd see something that would allow me to get the word Polonian into a column, never mind letting a headline writer somewhere pen this beauty: "Sausage attack overshadows Brewers' win." "

http://www.salon.com/news/sports/col/kaufman/2003/07/11/friday/index.html