These are HILARIOUS!

[The Ghost]

the way these are written are just so hilarious, to me at least. from a local Boston 'zine. more at link at bottom.



John McCain

What's his deal?

He's a disgraced Vietnam Vet who was so bad at fighting that instead of beating the enemy, he actually allowed himself to get captured by them. As an Arizona senator since 1986, he has built a reputation as a cantankerous figure that is as irritating to his own party as the Democrats.

But what's the rub?

If elected he'd be the oldest president ever, and there's a good chance that at some point in his term he'll become incontinent and shit all over important documents. And you think he's cranky now?

So what's he got to say?

He's said "I hate the gooks," called a teenage Chelsea Clinton "ugly" and referred to Leonardo DiCaprio as "an androgynous wimp." Some call that straight talk, but others just call it being an insufferable asshole.

Where does he stand?

He's an odd Republican candidate because while he is a fervent supporter of the Iraq War and big on tax cuts, he's a major supporter of two pieces of legislation that have angered the GOP base -- campaign finance reform and amnesty for Mitt Romney's gardeners.



Hillary Clinton

What's her deal?

From 1992 through 2000 she was our first lady -- and probably in her husband's top ten. In 2000, confused New Yorkers accidentally elected her to the US Senate, thinking they were voting for her husband. She's a little of this, a little of that, all wrapped up in a handsome pant suit.

But what's the rub?

She's against the Iraq War -- even though she voted for it. She rails against the broad powers in the Patriot Act -- even though she voted for that too. And she considers herself a feminist -- even though she stands by her husband who repeatedly treats her (and all his bitches) like total garbage.

So what's she said?

With Hillary, it's not what she says, it's how she says it. When addressing wealthy fund-raisers, she sounds like your typical, uppity Wellesley college grad. But hand her a microphone at a county fair in Alabama, and she starts spouting off "y'alls" like a NASCAR driver.

Where she stands:

She voted for the Iraq War but is now against it. She's backed away from her 1990s proposal for socialized, government health care, but still champions universal health care in some form. Still, the biggest question remains: After Jimmy Carter, is the nation ready for another woman president?

http://www.weeklydig.com/news-opinions/news-us/200712/decision-2008-may-contain-artificial-ingredients

[Buzz Clik]

1. You really don't have to go outside DU to find shit like that.

[NC_Nurse]

2. Funny, but those who think their candidates walk on water will not

be amused. :-)

Oh, well.

[aquart]

3. New Yorkers were not confused.

[Flabbergasted]

4. Offensive to vets.