How will Hillary win without any of the male vote?

[shadowknows69]

I hope I wouldn't have to say that the sexism in this piece is satirical and intentionally hyperbolic but I am anyway. Anyhoo.

She's thrown the gauntlet men.

It's quite clear this is no longer a fight for the nomination of the party but nothing less than the timeless "Battle of the Sexes" that has existed since Eden itself. What the Clinton supporters don't realize is that we as a gender can be as united as them and the welfare of the country be damned. You've exposed all men for the sexists we are because enough of us didn't vote for Hillary for her to win the delegates she needs. Sure,some of our Brothers have voted for her so far; no doubt pitiable, pussy whipped creatures, so desperate for the company of a mother figure that they'll sell their ideals for a warm vagina to play in. Well Hillary, real men jerk off and don't need the constant companion of a clitoris and some fleshy shit we don't understand to keep us "happy", and we won't vote for you despite the pleadings of our wives/girlfriends/blow up dolls.

So it's WAR men.

If Hillary somehow, through some ovary powered chicanery, wrests the nomination from Senator Obama we must unite against this imminent threat to our testicles. Does Clinton really think we won't vote for McCain en masse if she's the nominee? Sure, Democratic men like Obama have progressive ideals, they think the world of the women in their lives and would do anything to defend their rights. We oppose the wars and economic, not to mention environmental damage that a McCain administration will bring, but draw that panty line in the sand Hillary and we'll show you what penis envy is.

So yes, Hillary, you exposed us for the sexists we are which is why we support Barack. His color doesn't even bother us much despite the fact we know he has a bigger package than most of us, but he could be the color of a baboon's ass as long as he has that swinging cock between his legs. The same goes for John McCain.

You are the ones who made this about gender Clintonistas, so how can you blame us? You knock the male ego back to pre-history and accuse us all of being cavemen then that's what we shall become. We will become the Johnson Jihad, the Pentagon of the Penis, the Cabal of the Cock!!! No mere ovaries will stand in our way. I'm pretty sure there's still more of us and if not I think we still have the most guns, so you can't win. Besides we know you need the dick and you'll fold eventually. You're not going to get it though. We'll take this fight to the bedroom too if need be. We still have Rosy palm to keep us happy. The important thing is male rule now and forever A-MEN.

We'll figure out that perpetuating the species thing later. We have labs and stuff.
S

[billyoc]

1. Sexist!

:rofl:

[Perry Logan]

2. The same way Obama will win without half the Democratic Party, women, Jews, gays, etc.

[shadowknows69]

3. Gotta admit it was a good piece though right?

I mean not as brilliant as your video work but I'm learning. B-)

[Perry Logan]

6. Yes! It's a hoot. Needs more canned laughter, though.

[shadowknows69]

7. I think you've got the market cornered on that one Perry lol.

[Tyler Durden]

12. Not as amused as I could be.

Too much of being called all the cute names the obama camp has for clinton supporters.

sort of dulled my sense of humor.

plus, anti-feminist jokes are kind of lost on me: i've seen Betty Friedan and Steinem speak and read their books. telling feminist jokes are kind of like telling "N....." jokes to me.

[shadowknows69]

17. For what it's worth my best friend is one of the strongest feminists I know

If she thought I was overly sexist I assure you she wouldn't have put up with me for 20 years now.

If my humor was lost on some, that's about par for my course.
S

[Tyler Durden]

18. You haven't called me a shortsighted lying racist here.

Others have.

[shadowknows69]

22. I've been labeled similar nasty things

And done a fair share of poo slinging too that I'm not hugely proud of, but what's done is done and I think my basic good character is still in tact. I hope. B-)

[Tyler Durden]

25. Far past time for the snark and shit throwing to stop, friend.

It's just not funny anymore. what has happened over the last year, going from "Generic Democrat" winning by 13% over the entire GOP field to a toss up is a tragedy and a disaster.

For the 10,000th time: anything that does not show that the Obama Camp wants to heal the wounds WITHOUT THE UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER/WE WERE RIGHT, YOU WERE WRONG/DANCE ON THE GRAVE nonsense is less than counterproductive: it's suicidal.

None of us on either side should be laughing or celebrating. Tears are more in order.

[shadowknows69]

28. I think Democrats will come out to vote, bad feelings aside, when faced with the alternative.

[Tyler Durden]

30. Having lived through the tragedy of McGovern, I can only say this:

We should stop pushing our luck. It hasn't been especially good to this point anyway.


Has it?

[shadowknows69]

31. It's gotta change?

Sorry man, I've got to try to be an optimist these days or I'll swallow a bottle of pills, and I have plenty to choose from. Thank Gods I don't smoke or drink anymore at least. B-)

[Tyler Durden]

34. So pull back and set an example.

Making snarky posts, no matter HOW well written, is counter productive

[shadowknows69]

37. Eh, I'm too weak to be a leader these days

I only really go after the ones who really want me to. It's a symbiotic realtionship in ways. We give each other purpose.

[Tyler Durden]

38. I under stand this: just don't make it WORSE.

You're stirring the pot. Go to an Obama site and post the sarcasm if you really need to. I do the same thing.

We need PUBLIC UNITY and it ain't happening. DU gets MILLIONS of Google hits. Think this is helping anything?

[shadowknows69]

39. I think you're overestimating our importance in the grand scheme

But, consider it duly considered my friend. Check you PM's

[Tyler Durden]

49. Done a GOOGLE search on your handle lately?

EVERYONE is watching EVERYONE ELSE.

Plus, my advice is mainly for you. we all need all the friends we can get. I'm trying not to alienate the ones I have on either side of the fence, but that's just me.

[jgraz]

10. So now you're speaking for half the Democrats? And all women, Jews, gays, etc?

Congratulations! That's quite a promotion from just speaking for the whiney-ass dead-enders. :toast:

[ccharles000]

4. This is one man who would gladly vote for Hillary.

[VotesForWomen]

53. thank you; i'm so tired of this divisive stuff.

[H2O Man]

5. Nominated.

Humor is a good thing. Now that the primaries are coming to an end, humor can help ease some of the tensions between the two camps.

[TBF]

8. LMAO - you owe me a new keyboard.

:spray:

[JohnnyLib2]

9. Guard the jewels, guys!

:evilgrin: :rofl:




:hide: (oops, caught playing with fire again)

[ballsalicious]

11. who's Hillary?

[TexasObserver]

13. She's doing well in the "About Schmidt" demographic.

That's the middle aged to seniors white men whose wives make them sit down to pee.

[Tyler Durden]

14. I'm a 55 year old white guy...

And I really don't find much of this shit amusing anymore.

[phrigndumass]

20. I refuse to sit down to pee anymore!

Men, on your feet! It's time to take back our dignity. If women could burn their bras, we can stand and pee. Let's stand and pee together!

:patriot: :patriot: :patriot: :patriot: :patriot: :patriot: :patriot:

[shadowknows69]

24. We should have a standing and peeing smiley

And of course a squatting one for the girls. Can you make a smiley stand or squat?

[phrigndumass]

26. Smileys for urination logistics, brilliant!

I see nobody sitting in this picture. Men, unite! The time has come to flop it out like it was meant to be flopped out! Aim and squirt!

[shadowknows69]

27. ROFL, oh my look what I've started

[phrigndumass]

29. It's a Movement!!!

:rofl:

[Tyler Durden]

35. And it wasn't a positive action.

My last comment on the subject.

Word to the wise, my old friend: 1 of 16.

[TexasObserver]

48. I have to be standing to properly mark my territory!

They think we simply miss accidently! Ladies, we're doing it on purpose!!

[phrigndumass]

55. If we stand together, our territory will grow!

We men have built empires by marking our territory. Canada, beware, you're next! We shall stand together at the Canadian border and aim across, increasing our territory and furthering our standing in the world.

Ever Onward. Ever Upward. Testosterone!

[katerinasmommy]

15. As a Forty Something White Female May I Say....

That I too support Obama because of the fact that he has a bigger package than Hillary. (tongue firmly in cheek)

[sybylla]

16. Woohoo!

I loves me some parody and you got the mo jo working this morning. Thanks for the laugh!

A big K&R from a 40-something white female.

[Prophet 451]

19. Bravo Shadow!

Damn man, think I killed my keyboard this time...

[shadowknows69]

23. Thank you my friend.

[Stop Cornyn]

21. Don't worry about Hillary and the male vote. They will come around by 2016.

[Cieran]

44. Not so sure. I look forward to Obama's VP beating Hillary in 2016

Whoever his VP is will be competing against Hillary in the 2016 primary, no doubt. And I can't wait to defeat her neocon ass again, cause it's time to purge the Dixiecrats (racist holdovers from the civil rights era) from our party and welcome in the Ron Paul Republicans (anti-war, freedom from privately-owned Fed Reserve).

Obama needs to reach out to Ron Paul after the Republican convention (cause he's hopefully going to raise the anti-war banner there), and show his bipartisan creds by getting Ron Paul's endorsement and bringing that 10-15% of the Republican crowd that's STILL fighting against John McCain in order to save their party. But after the convention and the failure to take back the Republican party from the neocons, I think the Ron Paul supporters will not fall in line behind McCain and will come over to Obama, if courted properly by Barack.

I'd be all for Ron Paul to be, say... Secretary of the Treasury? I'd love to see the Federal Reserve's private bankers (Rothschilds, Rockefellers, Warburgs, Morgans, etc) absolutely SQUIRM under the pressure of Ron Paul in an Obama administration. :)

[Jim Sagle]

32. Even as satire, whadda crocka chickenshit bullshit.

[shadowknows69]

33. chicken shit?

I don't really fear ovaries. That was satire too.

[Tyler Durden]

36. See the kind of emotion this stirs up?

[genna]

40. Yikes. It is way too much.

I don't agree with the poster that says this satire is like telling a black joke.

It is like suggesting that women are SO militant that men have to separate and form a new alliance to beat women back in line.

I don't like militant feminists. I don't like the idea of resurrecting militant male backlash who have to go after any woman.

It ain't funny.

[crankychatter]

41. silly poster

harumph and tut tut

[havocmom]

42. Brilliant satire, Shadow

The truth is in there ;)

K & R

[Mezzo]

43. well, there are more women than men anyway.

[anonymous171]

45. lol.

[Swamp Rat]

46. LOLOL! ... Are you the Rude Pundit??

:rofl:

[anonymous171]

47. MEN, TO THE BARRICADES !

[suston96]

50. Lemme see - women outnumber men 52% to 48%....uh, technically possible....

...that Hillary could win without men.......

Most exit polls I have seen thus far - in fact all of them indicate women showing up to vote outnumber men by several % points.

[FlyingSquirrel]

54. You're missing the bigger picture

If there's an epic battle of the sexes, then if each man killed one woman and each woman killed one man, we'd end up with only 4% of women left and no men.

Sooner or later the sperm in cryogenic storage would run out and then what?

[wisteria]

51. She doesn't have all the female vote either. n/t

[VotesForWomen]

52. so is O waging war on white people? why don't you please give it up. your shit stinks just as bad a

as anybody else's. you don't see it because you're in a cult.