Whitehouse.org's brilliant analysis of Bush's trip to Popefest

[Fenris]

WARNING: Offensive language

http://whitehouse.org/news/2005/040705.asp

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A man with one tippy-toe touching down in the 21st century, yet with the other foot and both hands furiously clutching onto the Middle Ages.

And last but not least, a man with his fingers on the purse strings of two millenia worth of criminally ill-gotten wealth, yet too paralyzed by that dumb "modesty" stuff to even buy himself a decent stretch limousine with blacked-out windows instead of toodling around in that retarded fishtank-on-a-golfcart thing.

At this point I do want to mention that just because it was Catholics who cooked up Christianity, doesn't mean that Jesus isn't still pissed off that they wrote such a shoddy first draft. Thank goodness that super-horny anti-Papists like Martin Luther and Henry VIII came along to polish things up and get Christophilia ready for primetime televangelism.

Mind you, in fairness, old Mr. Popo was nothing if not consistent. He never waffled or flip-flopped on anything, which I have to confess is admirable. So there. Nice stuff said.

I look forward to meeting John Paul II's successor. I'm sure that after enjoying this 21 day non-stop infomercial beamed round the world for nary a penny, the church will be sure to pick someone who can deliver a sequel funeral in a whole lot less than 24 years.

Thank you, and may God Bless America – and have mercy on the Pope's embarrassingly misguided soul.