Forget Tupperware, modern women hold Taser parties

[RebelOne]

Forget Tupperware, modern women hold Taser parties
Posted on Tue, Jan. 08, 2008
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By CHRIS KAHN
Associated Press

GILBERT, Ariz. --
Before she lets them shoot her little pink stun gun, Dana Shafman ushers her new friends to the living room sofa for a serious chat about the fears she believes they all share.
''The worst nightmare for me is, while I'm sleeping, someone coming in my home,'' Shafman says, drawing a few solemn nods from the women. Shafman, 34, of Phoenix, says she knows how they feel. She says she used to stash knives under her pillow for protection.

Welcome, she says, to the Taser party.

www.miamiherald.com/business/national/story/370622.html

[havocmom]

1. Can't wait to go to one! Lots of really annoying Fundy/GOP bots in my area

Be great fun to see a demonstration locally.

[iconoclastic cat]

2. I wonder how many accidental taserings are going to happen

to their husbands and boyfriends...

[tanyev]

3. I just hope nobody gets confused and thinks they're going to a Passion Party...

[Javaman]

4. Ladies, LADIES, QUIET DOWN!

chairlady: I'd like welcome you all to the paranoid female republican taser people we don't like and are different from us party!

clapping...

chairlady: for tonights festivities, we have "hired" ha ha, (an aside) gave him a bag of Dorritos and a coke, ha ha, a real live homeless person of questionable hygene...to test our tasers on!

louder clapping...

chairlady: Tammy please read the minutes from the last meeting.

Tammi: Our fund raiser for taser for tots is going along wonderfully!

clapping...

Tammi: Our tasers for dogs has hit a bit of a snag with animal rights groups but we over came that by...well, tasering them. Ha ha ha!

clapping and laughing.

Tammy: back to you Bambi.

chairlady: thank you Tammi! I'd like to open the floor to questions before we bring in our...guest...ha ha ha. Yes, yes, Ami in the front row. Darling outfit, by the way.

Ami: thank you Bambi. I just love your shoes. I just want to relate a scary personal story that I experienced just last night.

All lean in concerned.

Bambi: do tell! (looks concerned)

Ami: well our cook out sick. Whatever! So I thought I would do the shopping, you know, get to know the real people.

clapping.

Bambi: good for you.

Ami: Well, I was trying to decide between katsup and catchup when this dark skinned fellow approached me. I didn't know what to do, so I...

everyone responds: TASED HIM!

Ami: ha ha ha! that's right! It was so frightening, but armed with my taser, I had that fellow foaming at the mouth and rolling around screaming on the floor in 1 second. However, afterward, I found out he worked there. How was I supposed to know he was an employee?

Bambi: good for you Ami, good for you! Now our guest of, ah hmm, honor, ha ha ha!

A homeless man innocently walks in. Several of the women hold their noses.

Bambi: Hello, err, mr...err...

Homeless man: Steve....

Bambi: Mr. Steve. (she mugs to the other women)

Steve: No, just Steve.

Bambi: okay, Mr. "just" Steve ha ha ha!

Steve looks around at the women as if they are crazy.

Steve: I was promised some food...

Bambi: that's right here are your Dorritos and your coke...

Steve: that's it?

Bambi: why you ungrateful thing you! Tase him!!!

The ladies leap from their chairs and Tase Steve.

Steve: what the hell is wrong with you people!!!

Bambi: tase him again, he's resisting!!! Thank you all coming tonight!!! What a great turn out!!!