"Oldsters" advice to the young ones.

[SoCalDem]

Every young person I have ever known (myself included), has a tendency to think that "everything will work out", and that they have "all the time in the world" .

It won't
You don't

This is the advice we gave our own..(add your own pearls of wisdom)

1. Get good grades and apply for EVERY scholarship you can.. even the small ones add up.

It sucks to be studying when all your buds are out there having fun, but in 10 years you will probably have to struggle to even remember some of their names, but the grades you get NOW, can help you have a chance at a better future, and all the good things that go along with it.

2. If your family can afford it, do NOT get a shitty little job while you are in school. School IS a job.. the MOST important job you can have, as a young person.

You will NEVER get a chance to go back to high school as a teenager, and those years are too important to waste as you rush from school to job. Employers are notoriously harsh with youngsters too, and often make more demands on their time than they should. The "stuff" you would buy with the "extra" money is not worth the effort it might take you , and you'll only find MORE stuff to buy. Once you are on the merry-go-round, it's hard to get off.

3. Find something you LOVE to do..even if it sounds silly. Careers and wealth often come from the things you love to do. There are careers in all kind of things. Kids get hung up on the "glamour" jobs...professional sports, fashion..dance..acting..music..

Everything you come into contact in your daily life was invented by SOMEONE.. Give yourself the time to open your mind to all possibilities.. Cultivate your interests, and learn all you can about them.

4. NEVER borrow money, if you can avoid it. You may need to borrow money for school or for a car, but DO NOT GET CREDIT CARDS.
(one caveat:..It's not a bad idea to get ONE card, that you can use for car rentals or a true emergency, but do not "shop" with it.. use it only enough to keep it in force..and pay it in full EVERY MONTH)

Once you have that slender little genie in your wallet, you WILL use it. Everyone I ever knew with credit problems, planned to "only use them in case of an emergency". Once you get a "balance" going, a sense of futility sets in and you end up spending even more, since you probably can never catch up anyway.

5. Do not get "car crazy". Advertisers know all the buttons to push, to make you want that shiny new hunk of aluminum & plastic, but a decent used car, will always be a better deal. If you want to impress someone, borrow or rent a car for the special occasion. (see #4)

6. If you plan to buy a home, start saving early. Open a "House savings account", and even if you only put $20 a week into it, you will have started saving for your down payment. If you start this at 20, by the time you are 30, you would have $11,932.68 (3% interest compounded quarterly).

7. Rent the crappiest/cheapest place you can stand..and have roommates to defray the cost. RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO SHARE WITH A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND. It's hard to negotiate monetary details of living, with a loved one.

8. Learn to cook, and try not to eat a lot of junk-food. This is especially important if you have crappy or no health insurance. Even when prices at the grocery store are high, it;s still better for you and cheaper to cook your own food.

9. Do not marry someone with loads of debt. When you marry them, those payments become YOUR payments too, since they come out of the combined family budget. Couples fight about money more than anything else, so why ask for trouble. You cannot "borrow" your way out of debt, so consolidating debts rarely helps.

10. Get life insurance when you are YOUNG. Have it automatically deducted from your bank account. People poo-pooh whole life policies, but if you can lock in a low rate, someday when you are old and sick, you will thank your lucky stars that you did it. When you are in your 50's and find that your health problems make it too expensive to buy, you will be wishing you had bought that insurance when you were young and healthy. If you are single, out your parents down as beneficiaries, and when you marry & have kids, you can easily change the beneficiaries with a phone call.


11. When you are building your career, be flexible, and ready to move to better jobs, in different places. Stay as unburdened by "stuff & entanglements" as possible. If you get a chance for a promotion, that involves a move, you don't want to have to sell a house, or convince a "homebody" girlfriend. Opportunities do not often repeat themselves. the things you DON'T take advantage of, will eat away at you forever. You have to be ready to DO the "what if"s.

12. Babies NEVER make a bad situation better, and sometimes they even make a good situation worse. It's never a good reason to have a baby just because everyone else is having kids. Have a kid when you cannot stand the idea of NOT having one. When you are in a stable relationship, and your finances are in good shape, and you are ready to give that baby 150% of your love & effort.. that's when you need a baby.

13. Buy LESS house than you want....for a little money as you can .. ALWAYS get a 30yr FIXED rate (with PITI) and pay extra every month.

Consider your commute to work when you do buy a house. If you spend 14 hrs a day AWAY from home, and you spend every extra dime on gas to get to and from work, you might be better off with a crappier house, closer to where you work... or a job that may pay less, closer to where you want to live. If you only have yard work on your days off, and house repairs in every spare moment, you will not get much enjoyment from your house.

Consider your house, as a place to live..not as an investment. Houses do not always sell for more than you paid...and just because you worked hard to get it fixed up, you may not recoup your expenses.

14. Do NOT remove the equity in your house. It may sound tempting, but when you are young, you cannot grasp the fact that someday you will be in your 50's, and having a house that's paid off, is worth a lot more then, than that new car now...or that vacation...or that boat..

15. If you find yourself with "extra money", buy small pieces of land in an undeveloped area near you. They "aren't making any more land", and every place we have ever lived, has grown , and having an asset you can sell , is never a bad idea.

16. Take a vacation every year..even if it's a short local trip. Save for it in advance, and don't overspend.

17. Take lots of pictures. You can never go back and take a picture of your 4 yr old, once he/she's 15.

[irish.lambchop]

1. Do what you love and the money will follow.

[Yael]

11. Took the words right out of my keyboard

:thumbsup:

Kicking and recommending the thread.

[Zorra]

31. Yep. And never, ever, trust a republican. n/t

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

2. 17. Never play poker with a guy named "Doc" or "Chicago Red".

18. Never fuck with the Mafia or the I.R.S.

19. Never marry anyone with more problems than you have.

[Fed_Up_Grammy]

3. I have a bit of a problem with #2. I worked while in high school,

my kids did,and I assume my grandchildren will.

Money was tight for me when young,but my kids wanted to work,as did most of their very well-off friends.

Part time work can be a great learning experience.

[Hippo_Tron]

5. A lot of my friends worked senior year when they already had one foot out the door

And I regret not doing so as well.

[AGirl]

4. Having job experience is really important

ANd i think i should have gotten job as a student, than now i wouldn't be an unemployed university graduate, but than again being a pre op transsexual female doesnt help.

[Horse with no Name]

6. 18. Don't marry someone thinking you can change them into what you want.

People do not change no matter how many times they tell you they will. What you see is what you get. Also do not marry anyone with a substance abuse problem unless you are a true masochist.

[Cabcere]

7. Thanks - I'm bookmarking this.

:hi: I'll be 22 this month, and a lot of these things are good to know NOW. :pals:

[appal_jack]

28. Happy almost-birthday Cabcere!

:hi: :toast:

All these things are indeed good bits of wisdom, but be sure to live on the edge a little too. It makes for good stories when you get older (I'll turn 37 in March - yikes, that sure sounds 'older'...).

My 'good' stories are about getting arrested as a teenager at anti-nuke/anti-war protests, volunteering at a raptor center helping injured hawks and owls regain flight, leading a field program down the Mississippi to explore issues of agriculture and environmental justice, and plenty of other worthwhile oddness since then. Most of these good times involved financial hardship and a good bit of chaos, but what few regrets I have come from the times I played it safe when my heart said 'go!'

I hope it's a happy 22nd year for you!!! :toast:

-app

[Uben]

8. Act on your environment.....

...,or else it will act on you! This means the only way things are going to change is if you initiate the change. No one is going to magically make you rich.

Save every dime you can. If you start saving $50/wk when in your twenties, by the time you hit your fifties, you will be a millionaire!

[calico1]

9. Start saving for retirement as soon as

you start working. Yes, it seems like eons away when you are 23 but the power of compound interest will work in your favor the younger you start. Even if it's 10% save something.

When you enter the work force, don't turn your nose up at jobs you think are beneath you. A lot of very successful people started at the bottom. Learn all you can, ask questions. Never think you are too good to do something, especially if you are starting out.

Never burn your bridges. It has been said often but it is very true. You never know who you might run into when. Life has a funny way of doing that to you. The person you piss off today might be the person in charge of making the hiring decision tomorrow. So learn to keep your cool, be diplomatic.

Don't gossip at work. Gossip gets around.

[SoCalDem]

12. A-men on the gossip advice..

We always told our boys to never say anything they would not want to see as a headline in the paper..or on the news.. and to never do anything they would not wanting their grandmother to find out about :)

2 of the 3 took the advice :eyes:

[katty]

10. Don't ever depend on the Fed Gov or Local to help or bail you

out via 'social programs' -- BE SELF SUFFICIENT in all of your endeavors as much as possible, mommy and daddy are not going to save your ass.

[nadinbrzezinski]

13. If I may

if you DO marry a person with debt... pay it OFF immediately... and then avoid it like a bad dream.

I knew my hubby had some debt from an emergency (Yes he used that credit card for what it was meant)... we paid it off and now we have money in the bank.. and a tiddy small investment.

[pink-o]

14. I'm 53. Can I add some philosophical advice?

1) Don't beat yourself up for every mistake you make. Mistakes are only failures if you either run away from them and never try again, or if you refuse to learn from them. The way humans are wired, we learn far more from embarrassment and bad experiences than we do when things go smoothly.

2) Remember, you only control a very small space in this vast universe. Please don't assume more responsibility or try to carry someone else's water. You owe it to yourself and those who love you to look after yourself, first and foremost! If you are happy and fulfilled, you are strong enough to help others without losing your soul to them.

3) But on that note, be gracious when others want to help you. It doesn't diminish you to allow someone to take over. If someone loves you, let them show you. It's their gift to you, accept it with thanks.

Bottom line: my philosophy of life can be reduced to two sentences, deceptively simple. But before I write them, read it with this caviat in mind: It's the JOURNEY that matters, not the destination.

So here you go:

Find out what makes you happy.
Do it.

[burythehatchet]

16. or, "Follow your bliss"

[jberryhill]

21. It's weird how long it took me to figure that out

I don't know if it works for everyone, but it's been working very well since I finally decided to do just that.

[KansDem]

15. DO NOT (I repeat) do not spend too long in a crappy job...

You will have to take a less-than-desirable job at some point in your life--usually when you are young. The first day on that job, start looking for a better one! Do not wait until the second day. If you do (and this was (one of) my biggest mistakes), you will spend too much time on that job and you will grow old and you will age yourself out of the career market. Believe me, it happened to me. I spent too much time in crappy jobs looking for the "right one." I would get a job, stay in it for awhile hating it for the most part, and start looking for my "ideal job" after a few years. I thought I was practicing the "protestant work ethic;" I thought I was persevering. HORSESHIT!!! Do this a few times and you will be a middle-aged man looking for a career in a young man's world.

Perseverance is a virtue, but it can be worn around the neck like an albatross. IF YOU MUST TAKE A CRAPPY JOB, START LOOKING FOR A BETTER ONE THE FIRST DAY ON THAT JOB!!!

on edit: I'm 54...

[HCE SuiGeneris]

17. Listen well. Always explore your creativity.

Be kind. Forgive yourself.

[bonito]

18. I hope this thread keeps building for a keeper

I'm going to print and hang it. tks!

[KoKo]

19. An Incredibly Profound Post...from Life Experience...Should be e-mailed to EVERYONE WE KNOW...

This is so good it would devastate those RW Limpballs/Repug Spam Mails that go round and round.

I'm sending this now to some of my relatives who need to know this info! :thumbsup:

[jberryhill]

20. I'm not sure about #10

Having life insurance is less important when you are older anyway. If you have no dependents, then beyond final expenses, what is the purpose of having life insurance? IMHO, it only really matters if/when you have kids.

[SoCalDem]

22. True,BUT..by the time you find out those things, you are already "older"

and the cost just goes up every year.. and you never know if you will get diabetes at age 30 or have cancer at an early age. when you DO have kids..

you cannot "get younger", but you will always get older :)

[prole_for_peace]

23. i have life insurance and no kids

i have it so if something happens to me, my brother (my beneficiary) can pay off my house and own it outright. i would hate to have paid on this damn thing so many years just to have it go back or to have my parents or my brother have to pick up the payments.

[jberryhill]

32. Why wouldn't they just sell it?

Do your brother or parents live in your house?

[SoCalDem]

34. A paid-off place to live is a blessing for a struggling family

or to sell ..

[prole_for_peace]

36. my parents have their own house but my brother and his family rent.

i doubt my house would bring very much if anything in a sale.

[RuleOfNah]

24. Trivial advice.

Keep learning.
Do not look at your shoes while vomiting.
Map the paths less traveled. (yes, I stole that one)
Don't play 9-ball for money with strangers.
Seek out the influences of your influences.
If you want to look young when you are middle aged avoid tobacco, alcohol, sunburn, and meat.
Live your convictions.

[femrap]

25. Women: get a diaphram and spermicide

and use them ALWAYS. Think very seriously about becoming a mother. Is motherhood truly a calling? Or are you doing it only because you think it's the 'normal' thing to do. Men: ejaculate responsibly...you ALWAYS have a choice. Always use condoms. And when you don't want anymore children (or any at all), have a vasectomy. There are way too many unwanted people in this world already.

There is no bigger responsibility than becoming a parent.

[AngryAmish]

26. Stay Off MY Lawn!!!

[kath]

27. Good advice, except re: life insurance -- term insurance is the way to go; whole life is rarely, if

ever, a good investment.

[unkachuck]

29. don't....

....marry anyone until you've dated for at least three years or until you can belch and fart in front of each other, comfortably....

....trust a capitalist....they are evil people and will do you great harm....remember, in one way or another, capitalists are trying to kill you from the moment you are born until they finally put you in your grave....

....sweat the minor tribulations and details of life....there are big fuckin's waiting for you out there, keep your mind focused and your eyes pealed for the big shit....

....believe anything a person over thirty is telling you until you've determined their agenda....always assume they are deceiving you, (except for me)....

....buy a car until you've crawled underneath it and looked at the suspension and drive train....style, paint and features are for chumps....

[hunter]

30. God it must be nice to have a stable living situation, your health, and a reliable mind!

As a young man I was happy when I wasn't living in my car or getting stopped by the police for running down the street nearly naked with bleeding feet at two in the morning. Changes of perception that other people took mushrooms or acid to achieve, I got for free! What a trip.

And then I found a place of stability and went and married someone who can rack up the medical bills as fast as I can. Dealing with collection agencies and stingy health insurance companies is almost amusing to me now. Bitter old ladies trapped in unsatisfying jobs at collection agencies like to talk to me because I'm so friendly. Credit rating? What credit rating?

Ah well. Someday we'll get ahead, but somehow I doubt it. Meanwhile we enjoy the ride. I trust my kids will stash me someplace nice when I lose my marbles entirely, and even if they can't I'll remember that wherever you go, there you are.

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. Save as much money as you can. Spend the extra money on things of quality. Don't buy fads.

Don't go out and fill your house with cheap furniture in one cheap shopping spree - learn to live with not so much at a time, and slowly fill your house with quality, well-built, non-faddish stuff that will last for generations.

Consider how well the Queen Ann and older furniture styles still work.

Consider how utterly unwell turqoise shag carpeting and bright orange cradenzas don't work any more.

Consider how a basic black suit with white shirt and conservative tie and good cufflinks has been in style for a hundred years, and always looks good whether one is at a funeral, wedding, or work.

Consider how utterly when you think of white suits, powder blue leisure suits, or beehive hairdos, you think of a very small range of years, way in the past.


Don't buy fads. Don't buy crappily made shit. That $40 vacuum cleaner might seem attractive, but not when it falls apart in 9 months. Buy the $150 vacuum, and have one that will last you decades (a span of time in which you might have bought 15 of the $40 ones).

And for God's sake, men, buy at least one good black or gray suit (not blue, not red, not brown, not green), well-tailored, with a French Cuff white dress shirt and a conservative tie and nice silver cufflinks and a pair of black leather shoes that cost twice what you think you should pay for a pair of shoes (and then take care of them! They'll still be around when your grandson needs them for his wedding). AND - wear the damned thing when you go out to eat, to weddings, to funerals, to your class reunions, and when you're shopping for a car.

[Perry Logan]

35. Don't smoke. Consider taking up yoga.