Republican men, thinking of running for public office? A Patriotic primer.

[AlCzervik]

So you're a republican and you think it's your time to run for office eh, well if you follow this step by step instruction manual you may just win your parties nomination.

1.) get married, lets face, if you're a republican and not married people will talk, so after a quick visit to Hannidate you'll be off to the races.

your bride should wear this on your wedding day-


You should be wearing this-


your cake complete with mini Patriot missiles!


what you'll wear on your honeymoon that will be within the contiguous united states, Alaska and Hawaii are not attached, they might as well be France cause you ain't going!



What your bride will be swimming in.


and what you'll fantasize about but like a good republican you'll wait until after you're married and find someone to pay to wear these.


2) Honeymoon is over, get busy.

the bed you'll be having man on top get over with quick sex and she better have a boy, am i right or am i right?


The clothing your son will be wearing


3) this is important, you need some type of lawn ornament that really closes the deal---



that'll do nicely.

Ok you're all set, now get going, time's a wasting and we're not getting any freer with you just sitting there!

[SpiralHawk]

1. "And don't foget to give ME a snappy salute." - Commander AWOL

"And it damn well better be snappier than the salute you give to VP Dickie 'Five Military Deferments' Cheney, or my mercenary Homeland Conformity Squad will confiscate your Flag-Defiling Garb. Forthwith. I'm the decider, and that's my (smirk) 'patriotic' Occult Executive Order. (smirk)."

- Commander AWOL, Republicon Homelander Chickenhawk Brigade

[BattyDem]

2. LOL!

:rofl:


Oh my - that wedding dress is ridiculous! Wouldn't that pose a problem if you wore it in church? You know what I mean ... the whole "bow down to graven images" thing. :shrug:


edited: typo :blush:

[AlCzervik]

3. i think the giant 10 commandments monument will make up for it.

[BattyDem]

4. I just hope they don't make her wear it around her neck!

;-)


I just realized something ... those boots would have looked very nice with Wonder Woman's costume. :-)

[baldguy]

5. UNITED STATES CODE, TITLE 36, CHAPTER 10, PARAGRAPH 176, SUBPARAGRAPH d

http://www.usflag.org/uscode36.html#176

The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. It should never be festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds, but always allowed to fall free. Bunting of blue, white, and red, always arranged with the blue above, the white in the middle, and the red below, should be used for covering a speaker's desk, draping the front of the platform, and for decoration in general.

SUBPARAGRAPH e

The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way.

[AlCzervik]

6. the rules don't apply to republicans---especially when they're running for office.

[Kitty Herder]

7. Aaaghh! My eyes! My eyes!!! nt

[BattyDem]

8. Oh dude ... WARN us before you post a picture like that!

:puke:

[AlCzervik]

9. that will really remove the fun for me.

[BattyDem]

10. I know ... but ... DAMN!

That one was painful! :rofl:

[knight_of_the_star]

11. NOT COOL!

That pic needs a biohazard warning on it or something

[AlCzervik]

12. sorry, no warning will ever get posted with that pic.