This was written by an 18-year old

[Horse with no Name]

Thoughts? Criticism? What do you think about it? Any input is valued greatly. Thanks.

It is night
I lay my body down to rest
Sleep refuses to intrude
My body begs for refuge
My eyes close but refuse to let sleep enter
It is now
I think of all the wrongs and injustices
Of all the things I wanted and was deprived
Of lost loves and new hates
People seldom know
What goes on when I lie awake at night
Thinking and scheming
Against myself and the system
The question "why me?" is now a reality
Conversation goes on
I try to enter, but am drowned out by unheard voices
People that don't exist
Except in the dark regions of my mind
It is now
I plot against my enemies and myself
I think of sordid and unpleasant things
I center my attentions on the shortcomings
But I won't give in
Because I am strong
The darkness has become my friend
My eyes have closed upon the world
And I am finally at peace
With my faithful friend-
The surrounding darkness.

[stellanoir]

1. My hope and prayer is that this eloquent and expressive youth

has transcended duality and can see the darkness as comforting and nourishing as the light.

[Horse with no Name]

2. thanks for your response

I had hoped for more.:(

[OwnedByFerrets]

3. Its very strong...

I like it a lot.

[Juan_de_la_Dem]

4. It seems rather dark to me

No pun intended. What is the mental condition of the writer?

[Horse with no Name]

7. Mental status is just fine. n/t

[Juan_de_la_Dem]

15. Good. I did not comment on the quality prior. I thought it was good

As someone previsouly mentioned, I too felt this way at times when I was 18. Kids got talent.

[renate]

5. context?

Is this an 18-year-old you're concerned about? Is it a poem you wrote when you were 18?

I think most teenagers have, at one time or another, written poems about darkness and loneliness. So if this was written by someone you know, I'd be alert to depressive changes (sleeping too much or not at all, loss of pleasure in anything at all, etc), but I wouldn't be frantically concerned just from reading this.

[Horse with no Name]

6. actually not at all concerned about the mental status

Merely curious about the aspect of talent.

[sammythecat]

10. I just read this reply after I made my own response.

I see you're wondering about talent.

I'm certainly not qualified to make any judgment other than what I said in my first comment, which was I thought this was obviously a sensitive and thoughtful person. Anybody should be able to see that. I can say this though, for whatever it's worth. I don't like poetry, but I did like this. I love reading, all kinds of genres. I like beautiful prose and a good cinematographer can totally mesmerize me. I think I have a good appreciation of beauty, but I just never enjoyed poetry for some reason.

I admit I groaned a little when I clicked on the OP and saw it was a poem. But it didn't look too long and the beginning got my attention. I wound up reading the whole thing and I was moved enough to make a comment, and that's a little surprising for me. So that must count for something. To be able to interest the uninterested seems to indicate some talent to me.

[Horse with no Name]

11. The title of the poem is apt

"Introspect"

I personally think it is very good, but knowing the author I am biased.
I really wanted an outside opinion.
Thank you for writing TWO very nice responses.

[sammythecat]

8. I'm pretty much with what renate said.

It's hard figure out what this means without context, but it's troubling to read something like this from someone so young.

There's no dispute that life can be very hard at any age. My own youth is long gone and the options and possibilities are definitely much fewer now than when I was 18. I'm 57 and I think of an 18 year old as practically a child. They have the time and energy to overcome almost anything. No matter what the circumstance, there is still good reason for optimism. If only they knew, if only they could be sure of that.

I don't mean to suggest that I think this person is considering suicide. What they wrote is very dark, but there does seem to be a glimmer of hope in there as well. A few years ago a high school senior in our town killed himself. I don't know what was going on in his head, but I'm dead certain he made a mistake. 18 is simply too young to give up. I know that but he didn't.

Whatever the case here, this person is quite obviously a thoughtful and sensitive person. Just the kind of person we never have enough of. It's sad when people like this don't realize just how valuable they are, and even sadder when others don't realize it.

[AnotherGreenWorld]

9. You think this is good?

May I ask why?

[Horse with no Name]

12. It is haunting prose

I suppose I am a sucker for those kinds of things.
May I ask why YOU don't like it?

[sammythecat]

13. I hesitate to say this for the very same reason

you should have hesitated before making your reply, and especially since your question wasn't addressed to me. Anyway, here goes.

Your comment strikes me as aggressive, insensitive, and purposely lacking in tact. Why are you looking to crap on somebody? It seems like that's what you're preparing to do. For what good purpose?

[pleah]

14. I felt like that when I was that age.

I think this young person should consider writing as a career.