This is a shameless vanity post, health update.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

It has been two weeks since they took something out of my body that could be called, laughingly, an appendix. I will be addressing that comedy more, in a moment.

I drove a round-trip of 85 miles to see the surgeon on Thursday. Note one: I was not ready to drive a manual shift car 85 miles and at the end of this oddysey, I was shattered. Right now, stamina ain't my strong suit.

When I got there, the first thing he did was let me read the pathology report on what was removed. Appendix, huh? Maybe once, one could have called it that, but a more accurate description might have been "One(1), Mark1/Mod1 Skunk, Road-killed, Aged 2 weeks in sun, maggots included". I was surprised they didn't use phrases like "EWWWWW!" and "Fucking nasty piece of shit" in Pathology reports. They would have been appropriate and clarifying. And accurate. Little ol' me was a sick lad.

I am healing well and off medications, a fact that the surgeon said he really has no parrelel for in his professional experience. He said that considering what he found inside of me when he cracked my gut, he expected me to be in hospital a lot longer and on Levaquin(Kinda like the Drano of Antibiotics) for months. Well, hah. I am off Oxy(thank Jeebus. That shit is best left to fat, right-wing squawking heads and explains much about them) and the Levaquin.

I did not even attempt to explain about the superhuman powers of old roadies. He just would have gotten all confused. I reckon that all the many gallons of rotgut I drank in years gone by has left my body a most unwelcoming place for any infections.

Also, all my bloodtests are nice and clean, too. No hep, no AIDS or HIV, no prostate factors.

But I am still weak and puny and goddamned sore and would kill for a long, hot bath with plenty of loofah scrubbage. Oh well, I can look forward to that. Oh, for a session in an Ofuro!

[wtmusic]

1. The silver lining is you get a checkup

that you would probably blow off if it weren't necessary (I would, anyway).

Glad to hear you're on the mend, TS. Life is grand.

:fistbump:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

3. I'm smelling my piss right now.

To dodge all these bullets at 56...well, it's just plain good fun.

[MadMaddie]

2. I had surgery Oct 1st and I was on Oxy

I weened myself off of the pain killer because it upset my stomach.

Listen to your Dr. and take your time healing. Like me I bet you don't want to go back in for anything.

My Dr. Released me yesterday so I can start working out again. I ache from not working out.....never thought I would say that.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

5. Ache from not working out? Know it well.

At one point in my life, I was a gym/dojo rat. I was doing Karate or lifting weights 6 days a week. Doing strange things like kata with a person standing on each hip(that's two people). Yeah, I was in fair shape. And when I had to take a break, I would really feel it.

[Kahuna]

4. I'm happy to hear you're doing so well. Did you actually see an image..

of what they took out? :scared:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

7. No.

But from the report I think I would be more interested in gazing upon a pound of festering hamburger.

From the description, the first image that came into my brain was one of those huge, soon-to-pop, mega-sized pimples people in hot climes get in the middle of their backs. You know, the kind they have to lance in level 4 biohazard gear and then fully bio-decontaminate the place.

[Kahuna]

8. WOW!

:wow: :pals:

[Cleita]

6. Hey I hope you are recovering.

It is major surgery that you went through. I had mine removed when I was fifteen. I almost died of peritonitis before the "powers that be" realized I was really sick and not trying to get out of going to school. It's actually a major recovery curve. As young as I was I couldn't do everything I wanted to do for actually a year or so. When they cut into your gut it's serious. So take a lot of nourishment. Exercise but not like you are accustomed to until you can. I'm so happy you are with us.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

9. Yeah, mine was pretty much that way.

But the intrinsic powers of old roadies are bgased upon innate stupidity: "What? The lightihng truss just fell on my head and crushed it? Just a flesh wound. I'll go load all 5 semis now."

No illness can stand and deliver against stupidity like that.

True story: I got walking pneumonia on the road. I kept working with it for two weeks. It went away. Why it didn't kill me, I have no earthly idea.

[Cleita]

11. I've done the walking pneumonia thing too. Just keep working. It's a cold!

I finally got hauled away in an ambulance. I started learning to take care of myself. You should too.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

13. Well, I do now.

I credit much of my miraculous recovery to the healing powers of High Anti-oxident juices and Melatonin every evening. I am sold on the stuff.

[RoyGBiv]

10. Yikes ...

Glad you're recovering. This does not sound like it has been a fun journey a'tall.

Funny what you say about the rotgut. I dated a Russian woman several years ago who had, shall we say, a bit of an affection for the alcohol. She insisted that vodka truly was the water of life and could cure anything. Got a cold? Drink some vodka. Stubbed your toe? Drink some vodka. Cut off an arm? Drink some vodka.

It's amazing what those hazel eyes did to the brain of someone who thought of himself as somewhat reasonably intelligent. I had enough water of life in my system that it became a part of my standard blood chemistry.

And the strange part ... I never got sick. Of course, the cure ended up being worse than the diseases, but still ... My body was an inhospitable place for ... well, my body.

I still fight off infection much more quickly than I once did. Realistically I don't "credit" the booze, but it is interesting.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

12. Roy-Boy, it's the only explanation I can come up with.

I mean, I do come from strong stock on my dad's side. Dad was a guy who was over Bell's Palsy in a month, for instance. He was never ill. Otherwise, the only thing I can think is that I am healthy because I burnt it down so hard in my idiotic youth.

I can think of no other reason that makes sense. Lemme tell you, this has confused that poor little Indian surgeon. It was a toxic mess in my gut. The nurses also said I asked for much less morphine than they usually see, and they are more than happy to keep you quite jacked on that shit. You keep asking, they keep pushing.

[Swamp Rat]

14. and no hungry alien babies either.

:P :hi:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

16. How in the hell did you get a picture...

Of my illegitimate child?

[calimary]

15. Good news! What an adventure - so glad you came through it!

"I did not even attempt to explain about the superhuman powers of old roadies."

What a great line!

That reminds of my current favorite commercial, the one that envisions how it would be if roadies ran the world, and it's a bunch of roadies running an airline. "Lights. Stage. Let's rock. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" And the plane takes off between these big lights and all these erupting fountains of fireworks on each side of the runway. That one just makes me smile - BIG. So does this report of yours. Please try to stick around for a long time. We need you!

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

17. OOOOO! Must see! Must. See.

I would love a linky-poo to a youtube of it. or something.

[calimary]

18. Hmmm - I wonder if it's on Youtube - it's really hilarious!

Do they post commercials on there? This is on regular TV (well, cable, 'cause we mainly watch MSNBC and CNN and a few others like History Channel and Food Network and Sci-Fi and such). I'll have to check. There seems to be a series of them. There's another "if _______ ruled the world" where the focus is firefighters and they're all sitting in some government chamber like a Senate room or something, and their leader is gaveling them to order and they're all sitting there dirty and greasy and smoke-smudged in their full firefighting gear and voting on various public works priorities. The roadie one has all these scenes with these wild, rag-tag looking guys with strange hair and tattoos and body piercings and bandanas and T-shirts and most of 'em look like they just fell out of bed or finished a job with Keith Richards - "the buckle goes in here, dudes" - it's freakin' hilarious!!!

I forget which product is being sold in these commercials. But they're really kinda wonderful.

[calimary]

21. SHIT! Tandalayo! Found it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCJLoie5EGg

It's a Sprint Nextel commercial. Love it! When the plane takes off, I laugh!

[TahitiNut]

20. Nextel ... funny commercial.

:)

[TahitiNut]

19. Been there, done that. You didn't mention gas pains ... and friends willing to use the pillow.

My appendix went acute and the emergency appendectomy was followed by ten days in the hospital ... complications and drainage (yech) and recovery. I'll NEVER forget the gas pains. Didn't know what that pain was initially - but it was monstrous. Gas pains, says the nurse. Pressed the pillow across my abdomen and she say "fart!" I did. WOW! WOW! Pain gone. Thus, I found out who my friends were ... when they'd 'serve' as a pillow holder (leaving no hands free for their nose).

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

22. Yes, the gas pains.

Good lawd have mercy that hurt. The first full, rich, deep, sonorous one I ripped was better than sex. I was, to that point, afraid that I was going to float up to the ceiling. Between the IV bloating and the gas that would not leave, I looked like the Michelin Man. My feet, from the IVs, liiked like two uncooked Haggis, but smelled worse. If that is possible.

On that first one I let go, I intercommed the nurse to celebrate. She was as happy as I was.

[LeftishBrit]

23. Ouch! Glad you're on the mend, and hope you're completely better soon!