Krampus Comes This Weekend! Beware Sinister Saint Nick Sidekicks

[HuckleB]

http://www.theawl.com/2010/12/krampus-comes-this-weekend-beware-sinister-saint-nick-sidekicks

"Christmas is nearly upon us and, with all its commercialism and saccharine rituals, it's all too easy to forget the true meaning of the season. Thankfully, the sanctity of this glorious holiday is still appreciated in parts of Germany and Austria where good, hardworking folk remember that Christmas isn't merely about the gifts; it’s about dressing up like a cloven-hoofed demon, terrifying children with violent, demonic folklore and drinking 180-proof licorice-flavored liquor until you puke.

For centuries, our central European friends have scared the bejesus out of their children with tales of Krampus, a hairy, seven-foot-tall, horned fiend with a suggestive, Gene Simmons-esque tongue who accompanies Saint Nick on Christmas Eve to beat the hell out of naughty children with whips and branches from a birch tree. Like Santa, Krampus carries a satchel, but instead of filling it with presents, he stuffs it with children who have been especially bratty, before tossing them into a molten pit of flesh-charring destruction. Merry Christmas indeed. In some traditions, Krampus was said to make children perform a song or a dance. Those who failed to impress, well, their fate was sealed. Get in the bag! Some believe the myth of Krampus predates Christianity and that families would gather together in one room on the night of his visit, terrified that their children were about to be taken away.

Likely one of the more disturbing creatures you’ll come across in European mythology, Krampus is the water-boarding bad-cop to Santa’s gift-giving good-cop. The Beelzebub to his saint. And assuredly a hell of a deterrent to bad behavior.

Li’l Timmy: But Daddy, I want the new iPad. Why can’t I have it?! Sally’s parents said Santa is going to give her one. I HATE you Daddy. HATE you.
Li’l Timmy’s Father: Son, be quiet. Remember, Krampus can hear you.
Li’l Timmy:


..."

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Merry Krampusnacht!

:toast:

[xchrom]

1. Have a Happy Kramps! Nt

[HuckleB]

2. I'll do my best!

:toast:

[donco6]

3. I was in Salzburg on Krampusnacht.

Hearing the eerie sound of those huge brass bells (they're big brass balls - seriously - with metal balls inside that roll around and make this amazing racket, especially as they run up and down the close streets), and seeing the huge-headed costumes chasing little kids with switches - the kids laughing and screaming at the same time. I'll never forget it. Fantastic!

[HuckleB]

4. Awesome! -eom-