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Tommy Carcetti

Tommy Carcetti's Journal
Tommy Carcetti's Journal
March 11, 2021

BREAKING NEWS: Sean Hannity demands President Biden produce his Stuttering Certificate

Fox News personality Sean Hannity, facing heavy criticism after making remarks on his primetime show insinuating that President Joe Biden was using his long-documented stuttering condition as a cover for mental decline, doubled down on his accusations today about the President and demanding further proof from him.

"Literally the first thing you receive after you born is a Stuttering Certificate," Hannity said on his show. "The doctors at birth will make a full assessment to find out whether you be a stutterer for the rest of your life, and that piece of paper will prove that you are indeed a stutterer and not somebody simply willing to shamelessly pretend to stumble over words to gain an unfair advantage over others in life. Well, Mr. President, today literally all of America demands answers. Where is your Stuttering Certificate?"

While the controversial host insisted that the President showed no signs whatsoever of a stutter in 2012 or 2016, a simple fact check shows that Biden gave numerous interviews ranging back years before that time period where he discussed in detail his struggles with stuttering as a child, how he managed to overcome those problems in good part but how occasionally he will still fall victim to it.

Hannity, however, remained undeterred.

"The scandal about this phony-baloney stutter from Joe Biden is literally the most pressing issue on the minds of literally every single American," Hannity claimed. "For anyone to so callously hide behind the veil of an impairment he knows he doesn't have and yet refuses to provide us with the single piece of paper that would show otherwise is literally a crime of treason against the United States."

When pressed for comment, White House officials were dismissive of Hannity's accusations and demands.

"There is no such thing as a 'Stuttering Certificate' and Sean Hannity is the biggest moron to ever walk the face of the earth," White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki remarked at her daily briefing before the White House press corps.

"Literally," Psaki added.


March 8, 2021

Anyone got $500 burning a hole in their pocket? Or even better, $1,000?

If so, do I have the deal for you!

You can register now for the 2021 For God and Country Patriot Roundup* conference deep in the heart of Dallas, Texas!

Headlining speakers include General Michael Flynn, a man who once caused a US District Court judge to make a double take as to why he hadn't been charged with treason yet; Kraken extraordinaire Sidney Powell, the Washington Generals of the legal world who wants you to know that former Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler was murdered in a fiery automobile crash much to Loeffler's own surprise; Comedian and star of Who's Line is It Anyways? Wayne Brady--**whispers in ear**--I'm sorry, not Wayne Brady but radio talk show host Wayne Dupree, who thinks that mass shootings were all false flag hoaxes (my deepest apologies to Mr. Brady--huge fan!); drinking/leaking enthusiast George "Dapapodoulous" Papadopoulos; human garbage person Juanita Broaddrick; Gene Ho, the photographer to Diamond and Silk (no, really!); internet commentator RedPill78; Brad Getz--the brainchild behind the sensational video "QAnon is 100% coming from the Trump Administration"; January 6th Capitol Insurrection veteran MC Popa** and who we can only assume is his...daughter(?) Bela Popa, who wants everyone to know she is 18 years old.

Oh yeah, also a bunch of other random sketchy guys with long beards.

$500 a popa (get it?) gets you in the door, while $1,000 will get you the VIP treatment, which is presumably an very uncomfortable moment sitting next to George Papadopoulos at the hotel bar and the exclusive opportunity to buy lunch for Wayne Dupree at the fast food establishment of his choice.***

And yes, in case you're wondering, all of this is 100% real:


*No affiliation with the weed killer. At least we don't think there is..

**MC Popa's availability is subject to whatever bail conditions might be imposed on him at the time of the event.

***All dollar menu items prohibited.

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Member since: Tue Jul 10, 2007, 03:49 PM
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