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The Complete Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition

1. Once you have their money, never give it back

2. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try

3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to

4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough

5. If you can't break a contract, bend it

6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity

7. Always keep you ears open

8. Keep count of your change

9. Instinct plus opportunity equals profit

10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one

11. Latinum isn't the only thing that shines

12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice

13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money

14. Anything stolen is pure profit

15. Acting stupid is often smart

16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along

17. A bargain usually isn't

18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all

19. Don't lie too soon after a promotion

20. When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat