You know how people compare Mitch McConnell with a turtle?

[Ocelot II]

27. I've always liked turtles.

Mitch only looks like a turtle. But appearances can be deceiving; turtles are interesting creatures with more personality than you might expect, considering their slow movements and tendency to hide in their shells. But they aren't perfidious assholes like Mitch. In fact, animals in general aren't perfidious assholes - even creepy insects and venomous snakes aren't evil; they are just doing what they need to do to survive. I suppose Mitch thinks being a perfidious asshole is what he needs to do to survive politically, but that doesn't make him any less of a perfidious asshole, notwithstanding his physical resemblance to the noble turtle.