To answer your question, Allen, it's because you're an asshole.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

16. We Floridians are a bi-polar bunch.

We're part laid back, part uptight. Part open-minded, part bigoted. Part old, part young. (Two of the biggest out of state stereotypes of Florida are either old people in a retirement home, or young college kids partying on spring break) You can't seem to figure us out, and that's what makes us so fun. And it's not a Northern transplant versus Old Southern thing either. Some of the biggest bigots down here come straight from New York and New Jersey, and some of the most open minded people are native Floridians.

But on the whole, we're looking a lot better. We went for Obama twice, sent two Republican incumbents packing and picked up two new districts as well, knocked out the presumptive Republican speaker of the house. But thanks to the miracle of gerrymandering, our legislature is still bright red, and we still have a medicare fraud of a governor.

As Michael Scott of The Office once said, Florida is a lovely, colorful lawless swamp. I love the beauty of the state and the weather. Hate some of the politics, but it makes for great Carl Hiaasen novels. In the end wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the country (well strike that, maybe Hawaii).