The Idea That Parents Didn't Care about Their 14-Year Old Daughters

[MineralMan]

back in the 1970s is ridiculous. I don't care where in the United States you live. They did. They still do.

I was a teenager in the decade before that, but things didn't change much in the next decade, either when it came to parents of teenagers. It still hasn't, really.

I remember dating in high school. During those four years, I went out with a number of schoolmates, ranging in age from 14 to 17. One thing was universally true. The first time you took a girl out on a date, you had to go through the "meet my parents" interview. It was obligatory, and I remember doing it many times. First, you asked the girl to go with you to something. Maybe a movie, a dance, or some other event. "I'd love to," she said (at least sometimes), "but you'll have to meet my parents." Those fearsome words. Generally, it was enough to have that meeting just before the date, when you stopped by to pick her up. Occasionally, though, you had to come by for a visit before the date night to go through the ordeal. For a nervous teenaged boy, this was always somewhat intimidating. Typically, it went something like this:

First, the girl met you at the door and invited you in.

Next, the introductions were made to her parents. Acceptable responses were, "Hello, Mr. (Mrs.) Johnson. I'm glad to meet you." "Hi" was not good enough. They expected full politeness mode.

Then came the interview portion of the "meet my parents" session.

Question: "Do I know your parents?" Answer: "My father is {full name}. He works at {business name}. My mother is {full name}. She {something she does}." Bonus Points are awarded if they know one or both of your parents.

Question: "What do you plan to do after high school?" Answers: More points if you know what college you plan to attend and what your major will be. Fewer points if you plan to start working immediately. No points if you say, "I dunno."

Question: "Is that your car out there?" Answers: "Maximum points if it is not and you have borrowed the family car." Fewer points if it is your car and it is either beat up or a hot rod. Negative points if it is a pickup with a camper on the back. Do not go to a "meet my parents interview in such a vehicle. Dads do not want their daughter to ride in a rolling bedroom. Trust me on this. It's better to walk to the event than to do that."

Question: "What time will you bring Emily home?" Answer: This is a trick question. Answer carefully. "Well, the {dance, movie, whatever} gets out at 11, but we can leave earlier if Emily has a curfew." You needn't mention any other plans you and Emily have for the evening. It's best not to. If you're smart, you have already ascertained when her curfew is and use that time in your answer.

Veiled Dad Question: "I hope you don't have any ideas about my daughter. Do you?" Answer: Say, "We're just starting to get to know each other, sir." Of course you have "ideas," but that answer is usually sufficient and doesn't acknowledge the actual question Dad is asking. Negative points and failure if you say, "Well, we're only at second base, so no worries..."

Mom Statement: "Well, I hope you two have a good time this evening. Don't be home too late." Answer: "Thank you Mrs. Johnson. I'm sure we will, and I'll bring Emily straight home."

Dad Statement: "I expect you to drive carefully, young man." Answer: "I will, Mr. Johnson. My father is very strict about driving."

Everyone stands up at this point and you escort Emily to the door and say, "It was very nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. We'll be home right on time."

Then, off you go. Dad is still skeptical. Mom assumes the best. But you're out the door and on your way. You have passed the "meet my parents" interview.

All of this, of course, is due to the parent's concern about their daughter. They don't like you very much. They're afraid you will behave like a teenaged boy and girl and do things of which they don't approve. In fact, they know you two are going to do that to some degree or another, but, well...you're dating, after all...

If you are, however, 32 years old, you are guaranteed not to pass this interview. No parent is going to let their high school age daughter go anywhere with you. Not a freaking chance. I don't care where you live or in what decade. That isn't how it freaking works. That isn't happening.