I may be taking a break for a bit.

[LuckyCharms]

I'm in a bad way here, and I'm not sure what to do.

I'm caught in a "medical loop" of doctors and suffering badly with pain. I can't get any relief.

I've had some shit before, but this is indescribable, and no one is coming to save me. No one can make this better.

I'm not sure how a person can sustain with agony like this, but I guess I'm going to find out what I am made of.

Over the past few days, I've had IV Dilaudid and as assload of opiates, but nothing touches this pain.

I can't sit, can't walk and can't lay down.

I refuse to take any more pain pills...they make me sicker than a dog.

I fell asleep in my recliner last night for 5 minutes, and immediately had a horrid "death" nightmare. Immediately.

Trying not to be hyperbolic, but it's a hard road when you realize you can't be helped.

What is scaring me is the relentlessness of this pain. How the fuck can you be loaded up on narcotics and the pain gets WORSE? This is nightmare fuel.

You all be good, and I'll hopefully see you soon if I can get this pain to retract.

I'm wishing for a natural, permanent sleep at this point.

Never been so fucking scared in my life.

You all be good, and hopefully, I'll see you soon.